Dorm Daze 2 Page #8

Grab his feet. Hey, Dante...

help us move Stukas.

Dean Dryer's backstage...

and we can't let him find him,

so, uh, drunk.

Stukas isn't passed out drunk.

I put something in his drink.

Did Dante just confess to us

that he murdered Stukas?

Let's just pretend he didn't.

Come on. Under the table.

Come on. Shove him. Slide him.

I have to go check on something...

so you're in charge.

Start the second act...

and keep things running

until I get back, OK?

There you are.

Look... oh. We need to get out of here.

I... I can't tell you why.

It's for your own good...

but it is an... exploration.

So can we just forget about our little fight?

Yeah!

Let's get out of here and explore.

OK.

Crap, I can't let Marla find Choo Choo first.

Shouldn't we tell someone about Dante?

No. We gotta find that diamond first.

Let's split up. I'm gonna follow them.

How much time do you think we have?

I want you now.

You. You missed your window.

F*** that, lady.

Look, I've been through...

a lot to be here, and I think I deserve...

a little Bluebush,

know what I'm talkin' about?

I make the rules!

Hide.

No. Hide.

Get. Go.

God.

- Man, shut the door.

- Oh, no.

- No!

- Move it!

Come on, buddy.

What are you doing over there?

Shh.

Hello, my sweet.

Hi.

I miss you every minute you're away.

So, uh...

how was the, um... the... the play?

Very strange.

I don't really understand

this modern theater.

Mm-hmm.

Whatever happened

to a good old-fashioned play?

Now they have to dress everything up...

by making it all conceptual and weird.

Well, the, uh... the play'll be starting again.

Won't they want you back?

Oh, there's always time for you...

my perfect...

loving, loyal wife.

Did you just grab my ass?

I don't know.

Did I?

Come on.

The Pharaoh's Heart.

Rex, you did steal it.

How sad.

He's gone, Robin.

Forget about him.

Dante, I seem to run into you

a lot in this room.

If you just paid me a little more attention...

none of this would have been necessary.

What did you do, Dante?

You should come back and watch the play.

It's quite a show.

Now.

Finally! Mmm!

Ohh!

Lynne, we did it.

W-we actually have the Pharaoh's Heart.

Yay!

What are you doing?

We're lesbians!

That's why you brought me out here...

to make out.

We are not lesbians.

I brought you out here...

so we could snag that huge diamond.

A diamond?

Come on, my darling.

Oh, Captain, you are so magnificent.

Oh, you're the only man for me.

What the devil?!

Don't care.

- Didn't you hear that?

- I didn't hear a thing.

Why don't you just kiss me,

you sexy beast?

I swear I heard something.

I think that pervert might be back again.

I can smell his cowardice.

No one can hide from me.

I have a sixth sense about these things.

Ay!

- Oh, Jesus.

- Quick.

What the devil?!

Homosexuals!

And more homosexuals!

All right, you queers!

You are gonna get the bashing of your life!

Bessie, darling, we've got a job to do.

Anyone... where's Janet?

I'll get it to hair and makeup.

Can't talk to you right now.

Ow! Whose shears?

I don't know.

It's cold out here.

Go! Go!

So mad, man.

- Run. Run.

- Killin' me with this sh*t.

Move it, man. Come on!

Wait. Rachel's playing my part.

I'm in charge!

Everyone's in the play now!

Including me.

Oh. Why would I be wearing a helmet...

and holding a broom?

'Cause, Newmar...

I can smell through time.

All right, man.

Finally some action.

Everyone, let's make art!

Come back here, you sodomite!

Fight like men!

Try to convert me, will you?!

Run, run, run.

I'll give you another hole

for your friends to enjoy, fatty!

Bagged one! Ha!

Now there are two dead.

There must be a murderer in this room.

It's not safe here anymore.

I can feel it.

I don't think it's safe for any of us

to wander off alone.

Uh, oh, I'll retrieve her.

Hey, I thought I was supposed

to go with that chick.

Man, is it hot in here.

Screw the script!

I'm solvin' this pirate-style, baby!

Yeah!

This is awesome!

Ha ha ha! Yeah!

Whoo!

I love this!

Here, Choo Choo. Here, monkey.

Wang, have you seen Dante?

Somewhere.

We gotta find the captain.

Dante basically told me...

- he killed someone.

- He told us that, too.

He told you he killed Professor Cavendish?

- No, Stukas.

- Stukas?

I...

shall return.

Fact!

So sexy.

What the...

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Where are you guys going?

Come back! Come back!

Oh, Captain Buckley,

I have to talk to you.

I can't stop.

There's a gaggle of perverts...

in dire need of a good thrashing.

But I know what happened

to Professor Cavendish.

He was murdered, and his killer's...

right here in this room.

- Hello.

- There he is.

Finally brought the captain, huh?

Him? And what make you think

that this boy did it?

Because I did. It was worth it.

Why, Dante?

So you'd go out with me.

You thought killing Cavendish

would make me want to go out with you?

Kill Cavendish?

What about Stukas?

Yeah? Did you kill him as a bonus?

I didn't kill Stukas.

I drugged him.

I put monkey bone in the prop decanter.

It's a hilarious prank.

Stukas is dead, Dante. You killed him.

But they told me

monkey bone was harmless.

I-it's just supposed to mess you up.

Heh. It's hilarious.

How could this have happened?

That stupid monkey.

It's all his fault. He was touching my bag.

Oh, so Choo Choo made you kill

two people?

Where is the Pharaoh's Heart?

What?

Wait a minute.

Captain, I never mentioned anything

about the Pharaoh's Heart to you.

Wang, I found the diamond. Let's get out...

Yeah, I'll be taking that, young man.

Hand it here, son.

I found it first! Aah!

Oh! The diamond!

Leave her alone.

Where is it?

What the f*** are you guys doing?

Dude, one of these diamonds is real.

Treasure.

Aha! I knew you took it!

Don't move, young lady.

Where is it?

Are these all diamonds?

Oh, sh*t! I found it!

It's mine!

None of you even think about moving.

Damn it, it's my...

Correction.

Hand it over.

Look at that. He has a gun.

Hold it right there, Captain.

Oh. My... my pistol. I was looking for that.

Sure you were.

It's gone one bullet left in it...

with your name on it.

Everyone-body, stop!

And look at me.

I'm Peter Pan!

Peter Pan.

Go, me!

Newmar. Newmar.

It was him, the captain. He did it.

He did it for the diamond.

I-is the money you're getting

really worth killing someone over?

Money? I didn't do it for the money.

It's a present...

a present for my dear and devoted wife.

You killed someone just so you could give

Mrs. Bunkley a gift?

She deserves it.

She's just a perfect little princess.

What?! Dude, I hate to be the one

that breaks the news to you...

but your wife is a total whore.

- Fact!

- How dare you?!

No one talks about my wife that way.

Wait a minute.

You're one of those homosexuals

that was spying on her.

Why, you slimy little misc...

Audacious the way they worked in

the ship's captain.

Great special effects. It looked so real.

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