Dorm Daze 2 Page #7

I can't find a pulse.

Help is on the way.

I'm serious.

Maybe for the time being,

everyone should retire to their rooms.

Hello. He isn't breathing.

Yes, thank you, Miss Constance.

I believe you already told us that.

Let me see him.

Wait. Don't touch him.

Um, Miss Constance, um...

please let Mrs. Hibbert see her husband.

You don't understand.

I think he might be dead for real.

No, no, I promise you we do understand...

because you've said that, like, fifty times...

so please step aside

and let me see my husband.

- Marla, I am dead serious.

- Gerri, he's only acting.

- Well, you take his pulse then.

- OK.

Newmar, shut the curtains now.

Constance, uh, did...

are you feeling well today?

Did you remember your medication?

Great ad-lib, Booker.

So now I'm crazy for the rest of the play?

Newmar, stall the audience.

Think of something. I don't care.

Ow!

What the f*** was that?

He's dead. Stukas is really dead.

Have you been drinking?

No. Well, yes.

It was Pete. He's trying to destroy me.

Yo.

Hi.

I'm Newmar, and, uh... you're not.

Stukas, get up.

Hey, is he OK?

Yeah. You know what? He's fine.

He's just passed out. He's drunk.

Hey, could we get this show

on the road, please?

Some of us have places to be.

No. He's dead.

Well, thank God

he's not in any more of the play.

Um, so...

Look, OK...

- Pete.

- Yeah? Yeah.

You wanna help me move Stukas?

Sure. Sure.

What we're doing here is something...

very, very... it's never been done before.

I don't think he's breathing.

That's because he's dead.

- What?

- Yeah.

He had a heart attack or something.

Whatever.

The guy in the...

in the... the colonel outfit, right...

let's pretend that this is him

just for a second.

I saw you going for that diamond.

You and I are the only ones

who know about it.

Are you sure?

You are the murderer.

Me?

Yes, you.

Couldn't be.

Then who?

Where'd it go?

Choo Choo!

Good monkey. Come here.

No. Come on, bring it to me.

No, no. Come to me.

I'm the one that really loves you.

No. I could have smoked you, and I didn't.

Give me the diamond.

Opening the curtains!

But all we have to do is run...

and love each other as much as possible.

Newmar, get off the stage.

All right. Well, thank you.

From the look of this body...

uh...

crime scene...

I suspect we have all been witnesses...

in a murder!

Ho!

Did anyone hear anything

after the blackout?

You guys wanna keep doing this play,

be my guest.

Yes.

Well, well...

I must excuse myself to the loo.

I will be back momentarily.

Don't you think we should stay...

and engage in some discussion...

about the murder?

Yes, I'd love to...

but I really do have to take

a gigantic dump. Peace out.

What are you doing?

We're in the middle of a scene.

Uh... oh, sh*t. What is that?

Oh, jeez. Uh...

Constance, don't you want to...

help... me...

in the... investigation?

I'm good.

I know. I'll do her part.

Of the investigation.

And I could do... be...

Mr. Aldrich's part, too...

while he's...

dumping.

Cliff. Cliff, dude...

look, I need a huge, huge favor right now.

Pete?

What are you doing here?

Oh. Um, well, I...

we broke some glasses,

and we needed some extras...

and Wang would've come, but he was...

Well, I really should...

get back to the play, now, shouldn't I?

Uh, Cliff, could you help me

carry some glasses?

Sure.

The play's going great.

I can tell that it was most assuredly...

not a heart attack.

Here, monkey, monkey.

Here, monkey, monkey.

I... have a theory.

I shall return.

Oh, sh*t.

Look, I have to step out for a second.

I have a, um... a family emergency.

Call me on this thing

when I'm due back onstage.

You want me to find your monkey?

Yeah.

But I didn't even know what it looks like.

It looks like a monkey, Cliff.

I'd look myself, but someone has to do

my part in the play.

Dude, I'll do your part in the play...

a-and you could go find the monkey.

You don't even know my lines.

Well, I'm sure I could figure it out.

Violet, this is Cliff.

He's gonna be replacing me in the play.

- Get him a script. Thanks.

- But what about his costume?

Are you accusing me of something?

Maybe I am.

Would you two knock it off?

Hey, look! Mr. Aldrich became a pirate!

Kick-ass! Ow ow ow!

Yes, the pirate is right.

We need to work together.

All right, here's the deal.

Stukas isn't drunk.

I think someone poisoned him.

- What?

- Yeah, but you can't tell anybody.

And the diamond that Choo Choo...

stole off the stage is a real diamond.

Look, I'm gonna get it back,

and if you see Choo Choo...

you have to catch him. All right?

- All right.

- Later.

Ohh.

I would wager...

- Rusty, you're almost on.

- F***!

This foul crime...

Where are you?

- Sh*t.

- Rusty?

In some way...

involves this large diamond.

Yes!

Maybe I should hold on to it.

Or maybe I'm holding on to it...

already...

in my pocket.

Rusty, you're on in thirty seconds.

Yes!

Maybe I'll hold on to it.

Ohh!

Oh, Colonel!

Sorry.

Rusty, where are you?

Co... I'm coming.

Oh, Colonel, you're so brave.

Stretch it...

What's everyone just standing around for...

when there's a mystery to solve?

I'm with Mr. Jadin.

Now, perhaps if we recreate

the scene of the crime.

Constance, you were by the bay windows...

holding the candlesticks. Fact!

Colonel Kroog was by the fireplace...

and in his hands was

the antique fire poker. Fact!

Mr. Aldrich was in this chair. Fact!

Dr. Vassilisa was nearest the diamond.

Cadwell was closest to the door.

Mrs. Hibbert had in her hands

a bottle of scotch.

I, American capitalist Harry Jadin...

was here examining this painting.

Fact, fact, fact, fact, fact.

- He...

- got every...

- word.

- None of us...

was in position

to have caused that blackout.

Except for Mr. Hibbert's nurse, Lolly.

No! No, I swear!

No!

After her!

Rusty, that was really good.

Where's the serving tray?

Maybe someone's moved it.

Maybe someone's trying to ruin the play.

- Eli, you're on.

- What?

With all this talk of diamonds...

we should have ourselves a treasure hunt.

What the...

That's intermission.

Thank you. Ooh.

Eli, how many fingers am I holding up?

"W."

- Find Choo Choo?

- Nothing.

Marla. Marla, I...

Shh!

Ahh.

Why are you on my stage?

Ah, I'm fillin' in for Pete.

Oh.

Foosball.

Oh. I like your makeup.

Oh, thank you, sweetie weetie Peetie.

I need to ask you a question.

OK, you know how you said

that Marla and I...

are I-I... liked each other.

Oh.

Well, how do I find out if that's all true?

Oh, Lynne, she's just scared.

You have to lead her.

She wants you.

I can see the bond between you, and...

and it's beautiful.

Ms. Daniels.

What?! Oh, hi.

Rather interesting play

you're putting on here.

Yes, very interesting.

Everything going as it's supposed to?

- Yep.

- All right, then.

As to your earlier concern...

a deckhand found

Professor Cavendish's suitcase.

Looks like he did jump ship.

Go, go, go, go, go. Grab his feet.

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