Double Dynamite Page #6

Is it clean?

- Yes, sir.

Sit right down and have a cigar.

- Now, what can I do for you?

- Well, you can give me a light.

I'll be very glad to handle your funds

personally, Mr? Mr?

- Keck. Emil J. Keck.

- Keck, Keck.

Now, where have I heard

that name before?

Where do you eat lunch? Uh...

In all modesty, you're apt to hear it

mentioned wherever businessmen gather.

Here you are.

What?

I said, "What's your address?"

You asked me mine.

I'm only trying to get some information

on your assets.

Never mind my assets. How are yours?

- Hm?

- I'm trusting you with my money.

Seems to me

I'm the one who's taking the risk.

This bank was founded in 1903.

Here's our statement.

"Total assets, $ 10,823,465.03.

Total liabilities, $ 10,823,465.03."

Well, you're flat broke.

Well, that only means...

Are you trying to tell me I don't know

how to subtract? Get Pulsifer.

We never telephone.

It says on the window, "R.B. Pulsifer,

founder and president. "

Why should I deal with middlemen?

I wanna talk to the boss.

- Mr. Pulsifer is in semi-retirement.

- Well, get him out of it.

He should be in his bank. How do I know

he isn't absconding with the funds?

Who? Keck? Listen, McKissack,

I happen to be presiding...

...at a meeting of the Community Chest

Committee, and I don't wanna be...

Large depositor? How large?

Put him on.

Business.

How do you do, Mr. Keck?

Glad you called.

Pulsifer?

Why aren't you in your bank

instead of out playing golf someplace?

A likely story. I intended to deposit

a considerable sum of money...

...but I'm beginning to have my doubts

about your bank's solvency.

I've seen restaurants

that are better run than your bank.

I assure you, Mr. Keck...

...the Fidelity Trust is the soundest

financial institution in California.

Mm-hm. Then what's this story

I get from my sources...

...that you've discovered

a shortage in your books?

Uh, I...

To be perfectly frank...

...there has been a malefactor

tampering with our accounts...

...but the loss is entirely covered.

It cannot in the slightest way

affect our standing.

How much is missing?

Oh, uh...

- About $ 75,000.

- Glad it wasn't a large sum.

Still in all, when I inquired

about your bank's status...

...Mr. McKissack

should have not concealed that.

You should not have informed me...

...that this is the soundest

financial institution in California.

I would expect that much integrity

from a busboy.

Good day.

- Merry Christmas.

And a happy new year to you.

Johnny, we almost made a great mistake.

This bank isn't safe.

The owner is playing golf,

the manager won't answer questions...

...and there's a shortage of $ 75,000

in their books.

I'm gonna take your money

and bury it in a baking can.

You better get out before Mibs sees you.

Now, give me the money.

McKissack is watching us.

I wouldn't put a dime in anything that

man's associated with. He's got shifty eyes.

Thirty-thousand dollars,

thank you very much.

- All of it?

- All of it.

Come, come.

- Well, it's only money.

- Yeah.

Will you sign right here?

All right, Emil. You're hired again.

But remember,

it's against my better judgment.

Thank you, Mr. Baganucci.

You're a kind and generous man.

No, it's not that. My feet are killing me.

Emil, answer him, please.

Hello? Yes, Johnny?

What?

- Pulsifer?

- He's coming over to see you...

...to hit you for a donation

to the Community Chest.

That won't be necessary,

I've already contributed generously.

Three dollars and fifty cents.

He thinks you're a millionaire, Emil.

Yes, he's chairman of the committee

and figures he can make a good touch.

McKissack told him you gave your address

as the Hunterton Hotel.

Hunterton Hotel?

Now, go over and register right away

and hurry.

Don't worry, I'm on my way.

- I'm taking the day off, Mr. Baganucci.

- What?

In the back of the broom closet,

you'll find my arch supports.

But, Emil...

Ta-ta.

Johnny?

You left the bank in such a hurry...

...I didn't get a chance

to invite you formally, but...

...well, I like surprises better anyway.

You won't have to eat

at Baganucci's tonight.

It's Christmas Eve, Johnny.

Johnny, Chinese food.

Hello?

Oh, hello. Miss Mildred Goodhue?

Yes, this is her. She. I mean me.

Well, this is Mr. Hartman...

...of the McCray Company

Complaint Department.

Would you mind telling us...

...just what you found unsatisfactory

about the mink coat we sent you?

Mink coat?

Well, now, according to our records,

it was ordered by Mr. John Dalton.

It was delivered yesterday,

and this morning it was returned.

And we...

Miss Goodhue?

Miss Goodhue?

Miss Goodhue?

Miss Goodhue?

It is the first of our $3000 numbers

to prove unsatisfactory.

And we're interested in learning why.

- The fur was on the wrong side.

- What?

I like my mink on the inside of the coat.

Keeps you warmer.

Now, that's ridiculous.

Hello?

- Hello, is Johnny there?

- No, Johnny didn't come here for dinner.

Emil? Huh. How should I know?

I only pay him.

He comes and goes as he pleases.

He said something about

the Hunterton Hotel.

If you find him,

tell him something for me, will you?

First, the arch supports don't fit.

Second, I'm starting a union

for the bosses.

The bridal suite.

You had to rent the bridal suite?

What are you gonna do

with three bedrooms?

I don't know,

what does a bride do with them?

And this afternoon,

the Bank of America telephoned.

They wanted to know

if a check for $ 1000...

...signed by Emil J. Keck was any good.

So naturally, I had to say,

"Why, of course.

Mr. Keck has ample funds on deposit. "

What's wrong with that?

They happen to be my funds.

What are they soaking you

for this layout?

"1928." Where did you get that?

Room service is very obliging.

How much for those?

Well, let's just say they're not

what this country needs a good one of.

What do you expect if I'm supposed to

be a millionaire? I've gotta get in the mood.

Eat, drink and be merry.

Because tomorrow,

we may be in the hoosegow.

And beside, my money may not last forever,

you know.

Exactly.

Ah, fill the cup

What boots it to repeat

How time is slipping underneath our feet:

Unborn tomorrow and dead yesterday

Why fret about them if today be sweet?

But why do I have to supply all the sugar?

Johnny, listen to me.

Think of my side of it.

All my life, I've been advising my friends,

"Live dangerously. "

And what have I been doing?

Waiting on tables.

Do you realize I'm 50 years old...

...and this is the first time

I've ever tasted imported champagne?

Good, isn't it?

Stinks, but I'm gonna finish

every drop of it.

What am I supposed to do

while you sit around enjoying yourself?

Learn to stop worrying. We both know

you're not guilty of any crime...

...and eventually we'll prove it.

If only I could find the guy

with the sunglasses.

Say, I know a dame with sunglasses.

Would that do you any good?

Pulsifer. Hide in there.

- Emil.

- Hello, Nick.

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