Double Wedding Page #2

Well, naturally, that's up to them.

Well, now, that's mighty white of you.

Ir...

I beg your pardon.

Who was that?

Must be one of the paperhangers.

They sometimes get to look like that.

Irene. Waldo.

Ir...

Ir...

Charlie. You shouldn't have come here.

What are you doing here?

- What are you impersonating? A cake?

- These are our wedding clothes.

Margit thought it would be

good for us to get married.

- She's arranged us to be married in May.

- The first Sunday.

First Sun...

I suppose that's her first free day.

Do you wanna be married

when your sister wants or you want?

- Now, look, you don't know Margit.

- No, but I will. Say, where is she?

In her office.

But you don't understand...

- Which is her office?

- She doesn't realize...

Well, she will.

There are things I wanna talk to her about:

- Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness.

- No, Charlie, please.

She doesn't even know you.

- No, you're kind of a secret.

- We want you to meet her nicely.

- You'll love her.

- There no reason why an older sister...

Charlie, please!

Pretty please?

Well, all right. And get out

of that gingerbread. Spike's waiting.

Now, be a nice Charlie

and don't move from where you are.

- It ain't much good buzzing them.

- Why not?

They ain't in their rooms, that's why.

The beds is all made up, untouched.

But that's impossible.

They were both at home last night

when I went to bed.

- They must have been kidnapped.

- No, ma'am. Evidence is evidence.

You see, they both went out shortly

after you went to bed last night.

- What?

- "Miss Agnew retired at 9:25...

...leaving Miss Irene and Mr. Beaver

in the living room.

At one minute past 10, a gentleman called. "

They were expecting him.

He came in a car,

a yellow 1931 coupe...

...with a rumble seat,

license number BX 4A3567.

It was a small noisy car.

The gentleman wasn't small

but he was noisy too.

But they've been away all night.

This has never happened before.

Oh, yes, it has, Miss Agnew, quite often.

The first time was of a Tuesday night,

March the 11 th.

Second time was four nights later,

March the 15th.

- The third time...

- Keough, how do you know all this?

I, Miss Agnew, was the first G-man.

Long before they even thought of it

in Washington.

- But, Keough, couldn't you be mistaken?

- No, ma'am.

Why, I had Dillinger sewed up four times.

I just couldn't get the commissioner

on the phone, that's all.

But why and where?

- Spike's Place.

- Where could they...? What place?

Spike's Place. They went there.

- What's that?

- It's a joint, 540 East 56th Street.

- Let me have that.

- It's one flight up.

Don't you think I'd better go along

for a kind of protection?

You know, those places

are sort of tough when you...

You beast.

You're beautiful in your distress.

Your father's heart must bleed for you.

Soon I will have him torn apart

by four camels.

Four camels.

North, south, east and west.

Oh, but, Waldo,

that's supposed to be a derisive laugh.

See? Here.

There is a way to save your father

from being torn four-ways from the middle.

There is no sacrifice too great,

no humiliation too humiliating.

Speak, Agbar, what is it you wish of me?

Well, I didn't get you here to play casino.

Wait a minute. What did you say that for?

- Nothing in the script.

- It would give us something to do.

- It was just a thought.

- Don't think.

You're an actor. Go on.

My little English orchid, to win you...

...I would have to have the heart of a lion

and the strength of 10 men.

And you will not escape me.

- What are you doing?

- I was locking the tent.

- How are you going to lock a tent?

- It's got a zipper on it.

Go on.

Oh, little desert flower,

come to my arms.

No, no. Once again, more gusto.

Oh, little desert flower,

come to my arms.

No, no, I don't feel it, don't feel it.

Oh, little desert flower, come to my arms.

Did you feel that?

That was perfect. Go on.

Come to my arms.

You quiver,

you tremble at my very touch.

You haven't touched her. How do you know

whether she's quivering and trembling?

You've got to make her tremble

and quiver. Make her.

Oh, little desert flower,

come to my arms.

You quiver,

you tremble at my very touch.

My longing for you

goes beyond pride and nobility.

Um... Uh...

I love you.

Well, thanks, Charlie. I like you too.

Ohhh.

Waldo, that's your line to her:

"I love you. "

Oh, well. I love you.

Blindly, adoringly, madly, passionately.

- How was that?

- Awful. Simply awful.

Well, Charlie, the trouble is

I'm a little sleepy.

Sleepy? You're dead on your feet.

You're supposed to be an Arabian, old man.

A hot-blooded Arabian.

- Yes. How can I resist unless you attack?

- Why, certainly.

I could do it better myself.

The scene ain't got no "yumph" in it.

There's the word, "yumph. "

The scene hasn't any "yumph" in it.

What's "yumph," Charlie?

Why, "yumph" is... It means...

Here, sit down.

Sit down. Now, let me show you.

It's very simple.

"Trumerei. "

Now, watch carefully, old man.

Oh, little desert flower,

come to my arms.

Why, you tremble,

you quiver at my very touch.

Ah. My longing for you goes

beyond pride and nobility.

I love you.

Madly, adoringly, blindly, passionately.

You getting it?

Uh-huh.

Good. Now, the kiss.

Ah. My little English orchid.

Do you feel it?

See, that's it, Waldo.

"Yumph, yumph. " Like this:

There, that's it.

That's the real kind of "yumph. "

Do you get it?

Irene!

Stop that.

Let go of her.

And you let go of him, you big ape.

I'm not no ape.

- What are you doing down there?

- We're rehearsing.

What?

- Rehearsing.

Yeah, you see, this is Charlie.

Charlie Lodge. He's a movie director.

I'm not surprised at anything,

because I know I'm going to wake...

...and find that this has all been a dream.

- Come, let's get out of here.

- Yes.

- Waldo, where's your hat?

- Over here.

Why don't you stay

and join our little troupe?

You could be Lady Vere de Vere,

Irene's snooty sister...

...who is secretly a terrific drunk.

No, thank you, Mr. Lodge.

I believe that Waldo and Irene

are thoroughly bored by now. I know I am.

Oh, you consider yourself

above such childish make-believe?

Far above it, Mr. Lodge.

How is it up there? Pretty cool?

I know Irene and Waldo

don't think it's so hot.

I suppose you think

they prefer this sort of thing.

- This sort of thing?

- Adolescent bohemianism.

Sleeping all day, drinking all night.

Play-acting in garrets

dressed up in your mother's clothes.

- It's called being an individual, isn't it?

- Yeah, among other things.

Yes, I've known your type before.

You call black "white"

just to flatter your ego.

Order pistachio ice cream

when everyone else is eating vanilla.

- I like peppermint.

- You're trying very hard to be whimsical.

And you're really succeeding in giving

a very good imitation of a halfwit.

Well, I'm very sorry, Miss Agnew.

But you see, I've never had the advantages

that other little boys and girls had.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes