Double Wedding Page #8

Irene's presence here is no secret.

I sent for her.

I've even invited Waldo to be best man.

Now, let's sit down and talk things over,

like rational human beings.

- Sit down, please.

- Irene left the house without a word to me.

- Not even goodbye.

- Well, she's afraid of you.

You've got her buffaloed. But not me.

I've acted honorably in every respect.

You haven't.

Why the very minute that my back was

turned you rushed down to my ex-wife.

- Who told you?

- Keough.

- Keough?

- Yes, Keough.

I've got an agreement with him.

I give him a report of my movements.

And in exchange,

he gives me a report on your movements.

Sit down, please.

Besides, Claire phoned me

the instant that you left her.

Now, there's a real woman.

And she's very fond of me.

Then why did you leave her?

No responsible man

would ever do such a thing.

Only responsible men do do such things.

Claire and I didn't get along,

we separated. What's wrong with that?

- What should I have done? Killed her?

- You shouldn't have married.

How can I know that in advance?

One should know everything

in advance, plan accordingly.

One should know nothing in advance,

plan accordingly.

You see, Miss Agnew, we differ.

And I'm very sorry,

from the bottom of my heart.

I'm not interested

in the bottom of your heart.

And don't be polite.

Miss Agnew.

Abuse me if you will, but do sit down.

I won't.

Oh, Miss Agnew, Miss Agnew.

Please don't cry.

I'm not crying.

But I don't want you to cry, Margit.

It's not you, it's Irene.

I wanted so for her to be happy and safe.

That's all I've worked and planned for.

And you, what are you going to do?

That woman said

you didn't have a penny.

Where will you go?

Well, I figure on Hollywood.

Where will you get money for traveling?

- Oh, I don't need any, I've got the trailer.

- But how will you live?

Don't worry about that.

I've got plenty of money.

I've hocked things and sold things.

You see, I had a fur coat.

Oh, a beautiful fur coat,

lined with opossum.

I bought it in London.

Oh, it was a showpiece.

It opened all doors to me.

I paid 50 pounds for it.

- What did you get for it?

- Twenty dollars.

Twenty dollars?

Why, what's the matter?

Could you have gotten more?

Of course.

Well, I guess the next time

I better go to you first, huh?

What else did you sell?

Well, once upon a time...

...there was a beautiful dress suit

with six, stunning white waistcoats.

I hocked all those.

Oh, yes, and also once upon a time

there was a gold watch with a double case.

A genuine Swiss watch, made by Copek,

Stopek, and Stopek, Geneva.

Oh, it was a beautiful watch.

It struck the hours so softly,

so gently, so appealingly.

Like a dainty little silver bell.

Ding-ding-ding, ding-ding-ding

Ding-ding-ding

Oh, it was a lovely watch. But I sold it.

In spite of Copek, Stopek,

and Stopek, Geneva.

What are you going to do

when you haven't anything left to pawn?

Well, then, I suppose

I'll have to sell one of my paintings.

You mean,

you can sell one of your paintings?

Oh, sure, I sell them very easily.

But I hate to.

You know, every time I sell one of them,

I regret it.

Someday, I'm gonna

buy them all back again.

You see, nobody loves my paintings

as much as I do.

Each one has been a little part of my life.

And I like to keep all my life with me

all the time.

I bet you think I'm a fool.

No, you're not a fool. I guess.

Margit...

Oh, dear.

Oh, Irene, come in, darling.

- Well...

- Oh, Margit.

Oh, Margit, I didn't...

I meant to send you a telegram, really.

I told you that she was afraid of you.

Here, let me take your flowers, dear.

- Oh, Margit.

- There's no need for you to be afraid of me.

I've no authority over you whatsoever.

I've come to ask you to come home.

One minute, Margit.

- The time has come...

- Please, I'm handling this.

It's my duty to you and Waldo

to make this final attempt.

Waldo and I will forget what you've done.

- Now, come home.

- No, Margit, I can't.

It's too late now for that.

It's too late now for anything.

Oh, everything's all mussed up.

Darling, I guarantee you

that Waldo will forgive you.

- Well, I'm not willing to forgive him.

- Forgive him?

- Waldo's done nothing.

- That's just it.

He's perfectly willing to see me

go off with another man.

Maybe he's even glad.

May I make a suggestion?

If it's going to hurt so terribly

for us to go so far away...

...we could stay here and be close to you.

- Yes, Margit, please.

I don't want your pity.

There's something fishy about it.

Oh, now that's unjust.

If we stayed here,

you could look after your little sister.

Come on now, come and live with us

and share our happiness.

I'd just love to have you live with me.

With us.

Oh, that's absurd.

But you wanted to live

with Waldo and me, didn't you?

- Yes, but...

- But you object to sharing a roof with me...

...even the roof of a trailer.

- I do.

- Why?

Well, because.

- Irene.

- Yes?

- Did you pack your winter underwear?

- No, I won't need it in Hollywood.

Your tweed suit and your hot-water bottle

and mother's picture?

Yes.

Well, Irene, I give up.

I withdraw my objection.

Oh.

- Well, that's fine, isn't it?

- Yes, isn't it?

But what about me being a grasshopper?

- I'm resigned to that.

- Oh, what about your duty?

I've done my duty.

Irene has made her decision.

I can't interfere.

The only thing to do

is be philosophical about it.

Hello, everybody.

- Hi, Charlie Horse.

- Oh, hello.

- Hello, there, Margit. Hello, Irene.

- Oh, dear, dear, what lovely roses.

- Don't tell me I'm too late.

- No, you're too early.

Just set them right down there if you...

Congratulations.

Say, you're very a lucky guy.

Very lucky.

Oh, don't be so cocky, babe.

You're doing all right yourself.

I finally accepted the inevitable.

- Oh, there's the telephone.

- No, I rang it.

- But you mustn't.

- Somebody might congratulate me.

What are you looking so glum about?

Mrs. Bly, it wasn't too easy for me

to consent to Irene's marrying Mr. Lodge.

Wait a minute.

Charlie Horse. You're marrying...?

Irene.

- Oh. Well, what's holding things up?

- We're waiting for Waldo.

- Waldo, the worm.

- Look here, Lodge.

Get to your feet.

I think you've had enough, sonny.

Hello, everybody. Hello, Mr. Lodge.

How are you?

You haven't met Mrs. Keough, have you?

We talked over the telephone.

Keough, what are you doing here?

Well, Mr. Lodge

invited us to the wedding.

- I ain't had a day off in four weeks.

- Five weeks.

Quiet.

Dear, what lovely flowers.

Somebody get me a vase.

- Here, I'll get one.

- Several vases.

A bathtub would come in handy.

- It begins to look more like a hothouse.

- Or a nuthouse.

Hello, everybody.

- Congratulations.

- Oh, thanks.

The winner.

Boys, that certainly is mighty nice of you.

How do I look?

- Like a horse.

- Charlie Horse.

Charlie Horse.

Well, here goes.

Hey, what's the matter?

Ain't I supposed to kiss the bride?

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