Double Whammy Page #6

Dr. Beamer's office.

Teesha speaking.

Detective Pluto for

Dr. Beamer, please.

- How you doing?

- Hey.

I've been calling.

Did you get my messages?

Yeah, I just got them.

I just wanted to say I had a

really nice time last night.

If you every feel the

urge to try again...

You know what?

Ann...

I don't think this is

going to work out.

- What isn't?

- You and me.

It'd probably be better if...

we didn't see each other again.

Was it something I said?

Was it because I threw that roll?

No.

Then why are you saying this?

Bad timing, I guess.

I'm not feeling too good

about myself right now

and I guess I'm just

not ready for this.

Right.

Well...

goodbye, then.

Hang on!

Just a minute!

How you doing?

You remember I told you we

were working on a screenplay?

We're kind of stuck on a scene,

and we were wondering

if you could help us.

Sorry...

I'm a little busy right now.

- Is it police work?

- Yeah, afraid so.

That's why we need your help...

you being a real cop.

We got an emergency situation

and we need an expert.

Yeah, like a technical advisor...

which you get as film credit.

You know?

"Technical advisor: Ray Pluto."

- Detective Ray Pluto.

- Yeah, you got it.

Half hour tops.

So, you guys want to tie

me up to the chair?

Right. We're not a

couple of psycho freaks.

Though if you'd seen working on that

scene with the dummy in the chair...

You were buggin'.

That's because it wasn't real.

- We're mega-realists.

- Ultra-mega-realists.

- Ultra-mega...

- If it's not real, we can't do it.

Okay, let's get started.

See if I can help

you guys out here.

All right, you got this...

ultra-close.

Man, you know what?

Thank you.

You're saving our ass big time.

I got it.

Thank you.

You know what I'm saying?

That's my Chinese food.

I got to tell you,

I agree with Cletis.

I don't believe half the

stuff I see in the movies.

Especially crime movies, and

more especially with the cops.

- Cops don't act that way.

- Uh-huh.

Professionally speaking, the

stuff you see in the movies...

it's fake. Like those

Clint Eastwood movies.

Get him in!

Get him over there!

Anybody says a f***ing

word, you're dead!

Which one was it?

I don't know, there's three of them.

What the f*** is going on here?

Nothing, man!

- Why is he tied up?

- He's helping us with a screenplay.

- What?

- "Scrimple"?

Why are you wearing them suits?

Jojo, come on!

Which one was it?

- I think it was this one!

- No, no, no!

- What did I do?

- You saw us.

I swear I've never seen

you guys in my life!

- I swear to God!

- Shut the f*** up!

- I saw you in the window!

- Called us f***ing Spics!

Come on, let's do them all!

- Tie 'em up!

- No, guys, listen!

We never saw you before.

We're writing a screenplay.

Shut the f*** up with that scrimpe!

Please.

I'm begging you.

Don't do this.

I have a wife and a kid.

Shut the f*** up!

- I've seen you somewhere.

- No.

Ping Pong, where do I

know this guy from?

I don't know. Get something

for their faces.

- I'm sick of them looking at me!

- You're turning into a girly b*tch!

Let's do it and get out of here!

Hold the gun.

I'll get the bags.

Don't look at me.

I got one!

You guys are making a mistake...

killing innocent people.

Shut up!

- What's going on?

- Nothing. Just hurry up!

I'm telling you, Ping Pong,

you don't have to kill us.

Nobody saw anything.

You can't even see the

apartment from that window.

Go ahead. Take a look.

Go on.

I got two!

Listen to me.

You want three murders

hanging on your head?

Especially when nobody

saw anything. Take a look.

Take a look. Just go look.

That's all I'm asking you to do.

Just look out the window.

You'll see what I'm talking about.

Yeah.

Yeah, down to the left.

You see?

That's right.

See?

What was that?!

Ping Pong!

Ping Pong!

Ping?!

Ping Pong?

- Where's Ping Pong?

- He went downstairs.

- You're f***ing dead!

- No, you are.

You're under arrest

for attempted murder.

- I'll kill you!

- Oh man!

I'll kill you!

I'll kill you.

- You all right?

- Yeah. You?

I'm okay.

Yo, Ray. You're awesome.

Straight up.

That was hero sh*t.

Totally mega, man.

Ultra-mega hero sh*t.

I can't believe it.

I think they went a little

far with this headline.

Fact is, this was Dimitri's case,

and you deliberately

withheld information.

You could be facing a demotion

for dereliction of duty.

- Yeah?

- Sorry to bother you.

It's the mayor on line two.

Good morning, Mr. Mayor.

Yes, sir, it's pronounced "Pluto."

Raymond or Ray... we call him Ray.

Yes, sir, the promotion

is official.

Absolutely, you can announce it.

Detective First Grade.

Yes, sir, we're on our way.

Okay, Pluto, let's get outta here.

Hey, Ray.

Yeah?

Congratulations.

Thanks, Chick.

Let's move it, Pluto.

- I'll do the walkout with you.

- I expect no less, Lieutenant.

Way to go, Ray.

Hero cop.

- Thank you.

- Good job, Pluto.

F***in' A.

Hey.

- Congratulations.

- Thanks, Jerry.

I'm proud of you.

I mean it.

You were there for me.

I'll never forget it.

Come on, girls!

Let's cut the hugs and kisses.

By the way, any phone calls for me?

No.

Let's go, Pluto.

Follow my lead.

Detective Pluto, over here!

Channel 10 News.

Does this...

Look at him out there.

Old Ray did all right, huh?

Don't get too excited.

You might piss all over the floor!

Something's not right

with this case.

The punks went back

to the apartment

to kill a witness, and the

girl positive ID'ed them.

What's not right?

The Medical Examiner told me

one of them had a two-day

old gash on his neck.

So?

No way the girl would have missed

that on the night of the stabbing.

Why didn't she mention it?

I think you're all torn up inside

because Pluto cleared your case.

You're jealous because he got

promoted and you didn't.

Why didn't she mention it?

What did we learn from this?

Never buzz somebody in

unless you know who it is.

Dude, no! No!

We gotta get this guy

out of this chair.

- How?

- I'm getting sick and tired

of writing this

screenplay by myself!

All right, my brother.

Watch this.

How he gets loose is...

maybe we didn't tie him so good.

All right?

He gets loose...

he picks up the darts, he

starts throwing them at us!

You see, there's that symbolism.

I like that. I like that.

We start getting hit.

F***, my leg!

- All right. Now what?

- I pull out my knife!

I just pull it out.

That's a big blade.

That's some Davy Crockett

sh*t right there.

He kicks it out of your hand.

You go down to get it,

he kicks you in the head.

- Bam!

- He rocks me. I'm almost out.

- He's gonna kill me.

- With what?

With his hands.

He's strangulating my neck!

- So you go get the knife.

- Just as you're about to die,

- I throw the knife.

- Close-up knife,

- spinning slow motion.

- Sound effects.

Knife spinning in the air.

Whh!

"Thwock!"

It gets him in the back.

He goes down.

- Bam! I get up.

- No, you stay down.

- I stay down.

- He coughs.

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