Down by Law Page #2

A Cajun goddess, man.

A Cajun goddess.

I got her up at

the Belle Chasse Hotel right now.

And she's waiting there

for you, Jack.

My gift to you. The most beautifulest

gift that I could possibly give you.

I mean, I can't believe you think

I'm gonna fall for this.

Hey, go over there, check it out.

If I'm crazy or lyin',

you don't lose nothin'.

Matter of fact, I just wanted

to give you first shot at her,

before she all used up,

because she is gorgeous, man.

Then why don't you want her, man?

Why don't you give her

to one of your so-called real friends,

one of those a**holes

down on Decatur Street, huh?

Because I've been trying

to make us be friends again.

Can't you just accept that?

All right. And I suppose

you haven't even touched her, right?

All right, I'll go look

at your martian goddess.

But I'm telling you something.

If you're foolin' with me,

if you're wastin' my time, if anythin',

I'm gonna f*** you up.

I guarantee it.

Jack, nobody's gonna regret anythin',

especially not you.

In fact, you're gonna

thank me for this.

You're gonna remember me

for the rest of your life for this.

Yeah? Okay.

- You makin' any money, baby?

- Ain't nothin' happenin'.

- Pretty thing like you? Why not?

- I don't know.

- All right. Check you out later.

- All right, Jack.

- Hey, L.C. What's happenin'?

- Hey, Jack. Good to see you.

Out kinda early this evenin', huh?

- Yeah. I got some things to check out.

- How's the ladies treatin' you?

- Ow.

- Well, you know, Jack, how that goes.

If you get enough of it,

do like a crawfish. Back on out of it.

- I'll see you, L.C.

- All right. Take care, Jack.

- Hey, Julie. How's it goin'?

- All right.

Hang in there now.

I heard you're lookin'

for someone to take care of you.

Now what you want is someone

who's gonna treat you like a lady.

I don't know if you've been on the streets

here or not, but they can be very serious.

These guys...

I mean, chances are you're gonna find

somebody who's gonna get you strung out...

'cause he's strung out,

and then he's gonna own you.

Some guy's gonna cut you,

and hurt you.

With me, you're gonna be makin' money.

You're gonna have jewelry.

Whatever you want. Check it out.

I got the right connects.

My thing is organized.

You work with me,

I'm gonna take care of you.

Don't shoot me! Don't...

- Where you at, Jack?

- Mandino, what are you doin'?

Man, I'm here with my girlfriend.

This is ridiculous, man.

What are you tryin' to pull on me?

Jack.

Jack, Jack.

You're a sick son of a b*tch.

- Is that your girlfriend?

- Man, you know I'm not

into this kinda... Ow!

Get this son of a b*tch out of here.

Get this pervert out of here!

Sh*t.

Okay, Rich.

I'll take care of the kid.

It's okay, darlin'.

Everything's all right.

It's all over now.

Look, we're just gonna...

we're gonna sit here for a little while,

and then you're gonna...

you're gonna come with me.

Now, I don't want you

to worry about anything, understand?

Don't worry about a thing,

because I'm gonna take care of you.

''And she said''

''Well, where you were''

''Oh, baby, don't go slow''

''Take me now''

''Oh, she don't know''

Is a sad and beautiful world.

Huh?

Yeah, it's a sad

and beautiful world, pal.

That's a good one.

''Yeah, yeah''

Ah, buzz off, pal.

Thank you.

Buzz offa to you too.

No, buzz off.

- Ah, buzz off. Ah, buzz off.

- Buzz off.

Buzz off. Buzz off.

Is, uh, is a sad and beautiful world.

Buzz off. Buzz... off.

Good evening.

Buzz off to everybody.

Oh, thank you. Buzz off to you too.

Oh, uh, it's a pleasure.

Thank you.

''Oh, lady, now, now''

''It's a sad and beautiful world''

''It's a sad and beautiful world''

''It is a sad and beautiful world, yeah''

''It's a sad and beautiful world''

''It's a sad and beautiful world''

''Now''

''To the end''

''She's just

She's just a shadow, baby''

Zack. My man.

What the f*** you doin'

out here in the garbage?

Just leave me alone, Preston.

I'm in a bad mood.

Well, I'm just the man

you've been lookin' for.

In fact, I been lookin' for you.

- That's a bad sign.

- Now, Zack, baby.

I got somethin' real good for you.

An hour's work

for a whole lot of scratch.

- I ain't interested, man.

- Man, you are in a bad mood.

You ain't even let me

propose this sh*t to you.

Just listen to me

for one minute, will you?

One minute of your, uh,

valuable time.

Just f*** off, Preston.

All I want to do

is pay you a grand...

in exchange for a single hour

of your very, very valuable time.

Now this ain't no breaking and entering

or small-time chump change.

No delivery of controlled substances.

None of that stuff.

This is just to drive a car

from one part of town to the other, alone.

That's it.

Well, what kind of car

would that be, Preston?

That would be a very nice car.

A very nice, very expensive

imported car...

which just happens to be

between owners at the present time.

Oh, I see.

Just in between owners.

Look, all you got to do, man,

is drive the car across town,

park it, leave it.

And, look, I'm gonna

give you half up front and half later.

The whole thing's over in an hour.

Very safe, very clean.

And believe me, I could get

a million guys to do this for me.

Well, then, why don't you

do it yourself?

I'm offering a grand so I don't have

to answer stupid questions like that.

Well, I might consider a grand up front.

Then I might think about it.

Jesus Christ.

Zack, you are in a nasty mood.

Now, just to make you

cheer up a little bit,

- I'll give you 750 in front, okay?

- Sh*t.

All right, all right,

Mr. Almighty Hot Sh*t.

Look, I'm gonna do you this favor.

Oh, man. A Jaguar, huh?

Look, man, I'm gonna

give you the whole thing, up front.

And you gonna owe me one.

Zack, you can buy yourself

Yeah, sure, man.

''Then she said what''

''I just want to know''

''Shoop, shoop''

''Shoop, shoop''

''Shoop''

Motherf***er.

''Take it slow''

All right, baby. You got it.

How you doin', baby?

All right. Sh*t.

Well, I ain't goin' back to Detroit,

and that's for damn sure.

Sh*t.

You can bet your ass I'm a good D.J.

Sh*t. WWOZ, WHLO.

WAKR. Just check it out.

Oh, we're comin' up on the midnight hour

here on the Lee Baby Simms Show.

Yeah.

Well, it's a Tuesday night.

Gimme a call down here at the station.

Our lines are open. Let the Lee Baby

know that you still love him.

Yeah.

I'm gonna be sending

this one out to, uh...

out to you, Laurette.

''I was all right''

''For a while''

''I could smile

I could smile''

You in the Jag. Pull it over.

Son of a b*tch.

Out of the car, a**hole. Out!

Get your ass out of there.

What?

- Was I goin' a little too fast?

- Hands up on the hood, jackass! Move!

- Move!

- Spread 'em out.

Come on, get a little

goosey-goosey goin' here.

- What are you lookin' at?

- Your ugly face.

- Hook him up.

- Oh, hook him up.

Hook him good.

Twist it a little bit.

Watch it, rookie.

- I ain't done nothin'.

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