Down by Law Page #3

- Get your ass back. Get your ass back.

I don't care if you done nothin'.

Let's see what we got here.

- It's my car.

- It's your ass.

- Sh*t. What are you lookin' at, dogface?

- Shut up.

- Maybe we get a little

lagniappe in the trunk.

- Oh, yeah?

You got nothin' on me.

- He's the one, Herb.

- It's all wrong, man.

Put the smart-ass in the car.

- In the car. No, a**hole!

- Come on!

- You set me up! You set me up!

- Come on!

- In the car, a**hole!

- You motherf***er!

You set me up!

You son of a b*tch!

- Hey, baby.

- Yeah, right.

In here.

Excuse me.

Now can I get a light for my cigarette?

- Didn't I give you

a match this morning?

- That was five, six hours ago.

- I'll be back in a couple of hours.

- Man, come on.

Sh*t.

Guard!

I need a light here!

I can't believe this.

Guard! Guard! Guard! Guard!

Guard! Guard! Guard!

What am I doin' in here?

Can't you see?

You are not

the only innocent a**hole in here.

I was set up too.

Just like you.

Just like you.

Man, I am not just like you,

whatever you say.

I don't even want to deal with you.

You got it, man?

As far as I'm concerned,

you don't even exist. Not at all.

Got it?

Well, you don't exist either.

The walls don't exist.

The floor doesn't exist.

This prison's not here.

These bunks aren't here.

The bars aren't here.

None of this is really here.

None of this is really here at all.

What's the matter with you, man?

Huh?

What's goin' on inside there?

You haven't said nothin'

in three days.

Man, you gotta say somethin'.

Just say somethin'.

F*** you.

F*** you. F*** you.

F*** you. F*** you.

Okay, f*** you.

That's fine.

You piss me off, you know that?

Man, you know what I'm gonna do

when I get out of here?

When I get out of here,

there's gonna be a white limousine.

It's gonna come and pick me up.

It's gonna be a Lincoln.

I'm gonna step inside...

and inside it's bigger than you could

possibly imagine it from the outside.

And there's gonna be beautiful girls

in there, four of 'em,

and they're all gonna be naked.

And one of 'em's gonna

offer me some coke.

But I'm gonna just say no.

I'm gonna just be enjoying

the luxury of the car and the girls.

And the door's gonna close,

and it's just gonna go ''click.''

And there's gonna be

music playin'.

It's like music

I never heard before.

And then the car's gonna start up,

and it's gonna drive slowly

towards the city, very slowly.

It's gonna be beautiful, man.

Yes.

- You're such an a**hole.

- What?

- You're an a**hole.

- Yeah, why am I an a**hole, huh?

Why am I an a**hole?

'Cause you imagine

all this insane sh*t...

like you were...

Bebe Rebozo or something.

Yeah?

Who's Bebe Rebozo?

Zack, who's Bebe Rebozo?

What'd you do on the outside?

You were a garbage man, right?

I wasn't no garbage man.

Well, what'd you do then?

- I was a D.J.

- What?

- I was a D.J.

- A music D.J.?

- Yeah.

- Nah, man. I don't believe it. Really?

What station? I listen to the radio.

I must have heard you.

Sh*t. WYLD.

- Lee Baby Simms.

- You're Lee Baby Simms?

- No.

- Yeah.

- You heard of me?

- Nope.

F*** you.

Ah, I can't believe it.

I got a D.J. in here with me?

I think that's unbelievable, man.

Why don't you do, like,

a little, you know...

a thing, you know, a talk?

I don't feel like it.

Come on, man.

Do, you know, do the weather or something.

Man, what's it like outside?

Why don't you tell me that?

- Cold.

- What else? Come on,

tell me some stuff, you know?

Go ahead, do the thing.

Come on. Go.

All right. Okay.

All right.

Let's see, um,

okay.

''Well, we got about 12 below

the big red line.

''Slick icy road conditions

out there tonight, Bob. You betcha.

''All you holiday travelers beware.

''Looks like we got about a four-car

pileup out there on the airline highway.

''I'm gonna switch over

to our mobile unit now.

Chip, what does it look like out there to you.''

It was that type of thing.

- Come on, do some more. That was cool.

- Weather and bullshit.

- Do some more. Come on.

- Nah.

Do some more.

All right, okay.

Let's see.

All right. Uh...

Uh... okay.

''Well, we got about 10:43...

coming up on 10:
43

here in the Crescent City.

''We're goin' around

and around with the big sound

from the big town right here on WYLD.

''You got the Lee Baby.

You got the Lee Baby Simms Show.

''Right now, we're gonna

talk to Jack Romano.

''We got him right here

in the studio with us.

''He's working over there

at Tipitina's tonight.

''I'm gonna be down there.

I'm gonna be down there checkin' him out.

''You come on down.

You tell 'em the Lee Baby sent you.

''Right now, we're gonna hear

a little more music.

''I wanna send this one out

to all our friends out in the ninth ward.

''Little Lyle,

all those Wild Dogs out there...

''Lone Wolf, Nashville Kid, Nadine,

''Dwight, Tyrone

and the Golden Boys.

''Let's hear a little somethin'

from Earl King, New Orleans' own.

Little somethin' called

'Trick Bag.'

Yeah.

Man, what is wrong with you?

It's like pulling teeth tryin' to get you

to talk, and you're a f***in' D.J.

What is wrong with you anyways?

Hey, cut it out.

Stop it!

Man, don't you know you're makin' time

go slower? Cut it out.

Why... Ow!

- Kick his f***in' ass!

- Come on!

- Kick that motherf***er's ass!

- You f***er! I'm gonna f*** you up!

Hey, we got a fight startin' up!

Come on!

Get in there, huh?

He don't even speak no English.

Homicidal son of a b*tch

says he's Italian.

And why don't you take a flying f***?

If looks can kill, I am dead now.

I ''ham'' Roberto.

Roberto. Call me Bob.

The same.

No good here... for me.

Is, uh... Is...

Is, uh...

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Not enough room to swing a cat.

Cat. The animal.

- Excuse me, Jack...

- Zack!

Zack. I have the ''hicc-outs.''

Do you have some cigarette?

No.

- No!

- No. I understand.

Thank you.

Do you have, uh, Zack, some cigarette?

I'm Jack.

Get it straight.

Yes. Got it straight.

But do you have some cigarette?

Cigarettes won't help with hiccups.

Not in this country.

Me, yes, uh, c-c-cigarette help me...

with the...

when I have the hicc-outs.

- Don't ask me again.

- Thank you.

Do you have, uh, mm...

J-Jack...

Jack, do you have some fire?

No.

- Excuse me, Jack, do... Zack!

- Zack!

- I'm Zack. He's Jack. I'm Zack.

- Zack.

Do you have some fire?

No. Matches aren't allowed here.

Do you understand?

Yes.

Yes, I see.

I see.

Do you like Walt Whitman?

Yes, I like Walt Whitman very much.

''Leaves of Glass.''

What?

Nothing. I said,

''Do you like Walt Whitman?''

- Walt Whitman?

- Yes. I like Walt Whitman very much.

Very good, the ''Leaves of Glass.''

''Leaves of Glass.''

Walt Whitman.

Walt Whitman.

Zaaa-ta.

What the hell are you doin'?

- Bob? Bob?

- Yes?

What the hell are you doin'?

I make ''hay'' window.

Huh?

That's good, Bob.

Excuse me. Do you say in English,

''I look 'hat' the window,''

or do you say in English,

''I look 'hout' the window''?

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