Downsizing Page #2

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up working together.

I...you could've been

my anesthesiologist.

-How 'bout that?

-Yeah.

Oh, my God! No way.

I saw her heading to the table

Like a tall walking big black cat

Dave?

It's Dave, Dave Johnson.

And Carol!

Can I have a hand?

I-I heard he was coming.

I had no idea.

He never struck me as the kind

of guy who'd go get small.

Wow!

A-jumping out

of doors and tables

When I heard somebody

shootin' a gun

Well the DA was

pumping my left hand

Ah, but she was

a-holding my right

-Hey, everybody!

-Hi!

-Hey.

-Hi.

Hope we're not intruding.

-No.

-No, Dave.

Hey, Andy?

Could you get Carol a, uh...

Uh, gin and tonic.

A gin and tonic.

With lime.

With lime.

Well, actually, we weren't

planning on coming at all at first.

But then, you know, we started

getting all the e-mails.

Plus my sister was

having a lump removed.

I mean, she's-she's fine,

thank God.

But I still needed to see her.

So, what's traveling like?

How'd you guys get up here

from New Mexico?

Oh, gosh, it's great.

Yeah, the airlines are getting

more and more small-friendly.

All the seats are first-class...

So after a couple of years in

Florida, we moved out to Vegas.

And that...

Yeah, I think that's the

last time we talked.

Yeah. Well, Vegas wasn't

such a good choice for me,

as it turns out.

Got into some real bad habits.

Pretty much hit rock bottom.

Tell ya, any other woman

would've run for the hills.

Carol, man, she's a saint.

She stuck with me.

But I really had to come

clean about everything.

I-I mean everything.

You know...almost.

So, the decision to...

Well, that's the thing.

We both needed the change.

Hit the reset button.

Start all over.

Well, and plus, it

must feel good to know

you're really making

a difference.

You mean all that crap

about saving the planet?

Yeah.

Downsizing is about

saving yourself.

I-It takes the pressure right off.

Especially money pressure.

I'm just not driven and ambitious

like the rest of my family.

And now, Carol and I,

we live like kings.

I'm still living in the

same house I grew up in.

I mean, Audrey's

dying for us to move

but we're really strapped.

I mean, sh*t, I just finished

paying off my student loans.

Yeah, well...

Listen, if you ever start

thinkin' about it seriously,

here's my two cents, uh...

There's a lot of small communities

croppin' up out there, but

don't mess around.

Leisureland's where

you wanna be.

Best houses, best appliances,

best doctors.

They book all the

big concert tours.

They got all the

great restaurants.

The kids love

Cheesecake Factory.

And Leisureland's

got three of 'em.

And hey, I'm not just saying

all this for the referral credit.

Just so you know.

I liked little Carol.

She's got a lot on the ball.

She's reading books she

always wanted to read.

She's taking Italian.

And she's never been fitter.

Well, they sure seem happy.

Dave says he's getting

pretty good on the drums.

Next year, they're taking

the kids out of school

to spend six months at a

sister city in Tuscany.

Cooking classes, yoga,

wine-tasting,

the whole nine yards.

Hey, Saf, Audrey, it's Milo.

Bad news.

Your mortgage application at

First National bounced back.

The underwriter didn't like

the income to debt ratios--

they're a little excessive.

I-I don't know if you

can come up with

another ten-fifteen

percent down.

If you could, maybe

goose it up a little bit...

And then we'll be able to tell

right away if it's for us or not.

Yeah, so let's not

waste a lot of time.

Maybe if we get to Santa Fe early,

we can get a massage.

Sounds good to me.

Out together dancin'

cheek to cheek

Heaven

I'm in heaven

And the cares that

hung around me

through the week

Seem to vanish like

a gambler's lucky streak

When we're out together dancin'

cheek to cheek

Welcome, everybody!

I'm Jeff Lonowsky,

Senior Product Specialist

and happy homeowner here

at Leisureland Estates.

You havin' a good time?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Come on, guys, you're a heck

of a lot bigger than I am.

Make some noise!

Are you havin' a good time?

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

That's more like it.

So, what do you

think of my place?

Pretty nifty, huh?

It's the house of my dreams.

Heck, I'd say this is the

house of anybody's dreams.

Why, an average guy like me

would have to work twenty,

thirty, maybe forty years

to afford a place like this,

if ever.

And just wait till

you see what's inside.

Oh.

Jeff?

You've gotta stop inviting

guests over without telling me.

Oh, sorry, Laura.

I was only--

I mean, I finally just got in the

tub to relax after such a busy day.

Busy doing what, sweetheart?

Oh, no end of things.

First I took a tennis lesson

and had a massage.

Nice.

And then after a gourmet

lunch with the girls,

well, we couldn't help ourselves

so we popped into that new

Loget's jewelry store downtown.

Uh-oh, Loget's. What's

than gonna cost me?

Now, Jeff, you hush.

I was really good.

Just another diamond bracelet.

Just a diamond bracelet?

That doesn't sound like you.

You're right, I don't

like to break up a set.

So, I got matching

diamond earrings

and a matching diamond necklace.

All conflict-free,

and set in platinum.

How much, Laura?

Oh, but Jeff, they look so good

on me, and you should see--

How much, Laura?

-Well, Jeff...

-I said how much?

Eighty-three dollars.

Eighty-three dollars?

Are you crazy?

Why, that's practically our food

budget for two whole months!

Ah!

Putting it all together, if you

liquidate your current home,

cars and other assets,

and purchase a

Regency-level estate--

remember that's a 12,000

square foot equivalent home

on a 1.5 acre equivalent lot--

at a base price of $63,000.

Then the Health and

Fitness package--

that's $4,500, you're

gonna wanna get that.

It's gym, pool, sauna, steam,

hot tub, and a tennis court.

Then the medical

procedures for two adults.

That's $15,000.

But does insurance

cover any of that?

No, but at the Regency level you

qualify of a substantial discount.

And don't forget the

federal tax credit.

-Right, right.

-Right?

So, taking a look at

your current debt,

you retirement and

your other savings,

you are at $152,000 in equity.

People, that is a very

comfortable number.

Comfortable? That doesn't

sound like nearly enough.

-Yeah.

-Well, no.

See, you have to look

at this column, Audrey.

Equivalent value.

You're solidly inside

the Blue Chip zone.

In Leisureland your $152,000

translates to $12.5 million--

to live on, for life.

I mean, come on!

-Oh.

-Well.

Hold on, if this is

such a good thing,

how come

you haven't done it?

I would do it in a heartbeat

but my husband had

a hip replacement

so he's ineligible.

So, what do you think?

Would the Regency level

be your first choice?

Or should should I show you

something a little more deluxe?

Honey, why don't you

just go ahead and pick.

I just want you to be happy.

That's a good husband.

Take a look at this.

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