Downsizing Page #5

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Full-Sized Flower Mart.

How much they're

charging for this?

Dusan!

Dusan!

Quoi, ma Cherie?

What are you doing down there?

Oui, ma Cherie. J'arrive.

Anyway,

as I was saying,

Paul, if tonight

noise disturbs you,

just come upstairs talk to me.

Don't make big show

like last time,

yelling like crazy man.

We're neighbors.

Neighbors are friends.

What's better even,

come to the party.

Thanks, but like I said, we

just want to have

a quiet dinner.

Just try to keep it down, okay?

Yes, darling, of course.

Shh, shh.

Shh.

Oh.

Thanks for a really nice time.

Plus the cooking and all.

Sorry I have to leave so early,

but you know, the sitter...

Yeah, yeah. No...

I was...

Up one floor.

What?

Yeah, one more.

-Gracias

-Oh, gracias, tio.

Anyway, uh,

I was hoping uh, Sunday

we could bring Jonah.

I... I'd love to meet him.

Yeah...maybe.

-Something wrong?

-No.

You're a wonderful guy, Paul.

And I really enjoy

hanging out with you.

Uh-huh.

But, if I'm honest

about how I'm feeling,

I just-it might be uh--

it might be too soon for me.

It's fine, I get it.

-No, no...

-I get it. No, it's fine.

I just mean if we're

bringing Jonah into it...

Have a nice night.

No, I...

Paul!

A rose!

Paul!

You come.

And you bring the rose.

-It's a peace offering.

-Oh.

Look, everyone.

This is Paul, my neighbor.

And look at what he brings me.

A real f***ing rose!

You think any of these other

ungrateful sons of b*tches

think to bring

something to Dusan?

No. You're the only one.

I like you.

But, I know I said

it's only little party,

but I make two, three phone

calls to very close friends,

look what happens.

Everybody comes.

There's nothing else to do in this

f***ing city after 10 o'clock.

Now, this I do not understand.

It's not as if so many people

have work in the morning.

You know, this is worst trait

about small people--

they're lazy.

Not all, not all. But lazy.

Like...this lazy son of a b*tch.

Konrad!

What's that you're

saying about me?

What lies are you telling?

Just that in small world

no one wants to work.

What did you expect?

It's the wonderful thing

about becoming small.

Because you're immediately rich.

Unless you're very poor.

Then you're just small.

Konrad's a sea captain.

Oh?

Never more than ten meters

away from his boat.

Oh.

I do like my boat.

There she is.

Sonja, my beauty.

You see, I'm from

many generations.

All the way back to my

grandfathers, my father--

all sea captains.

So, what brings you

to Leisureland?

Dusan.

He even convinced

me to become small,

mostly for the women

and the parties.

And, frankly, my wife

had all the money,

and after she left,

things became a bit tricky.

Oh, I can relate.

It's quite wonderful

to be small, don't you think?

I'd say it has its

pluses and minuses.

Next week I'll be

in the Seychelles,

and two weeks after that, I'll be

sailing with friends for a

month on Lake Titicaca.

Can you believe I've never

been to Lake Titicaca?

Well, how does the boat

get from place to place?

I mean, you can't sail it.

FedEx, my dear boy.

Sonja travels faster than I do.

How'd you get a tiny

harpsichord down here?

Well, I didn't--I had

to have it raised.

Well, how?

Excuse me, who is that?

-Who's that?

-Yeah.

That's little Ronni.

That's little Ronni?

-The first small baby ever born.

-Yeah.

-Back in Norway?

-Sh*t.

-That's little Ronni.

-Yeah.

You should go talk to him.

Sorry, uh...

Sorry, excuse me, um,

is it-is it true you're little Ronni?

Well, maybe not

so little anymore.

But yeah, it's me.

Wow, that's...!

Do you thi-hey-would it be

cool to get a selfie?

-Yeah, man, get in here.

-Awesome.

Thank you so much,

I really appreciate it.

Thank you.

-Get in here.

-Wow.

Thank you, so are you.

What is that?

No, I need to know.

I-I have allergies.

Wait! Wait.

Okay.

De Granada a Casablanca

Enterr mi fantasa

Una guitarra, y un gitano canta

Canta mi Andaluca

I'm gonna take off my shoes.

Having fun?

Enough with the

f***ing doorbell.

Good morning, Mr. Dusan.

We come clean for you.

So you had fun last night, yeah?

You didn't know were so lucky

to have exciting

neighbor such as me.

Well, I've never been

to a party like that.

I've nev-there were

so many Europeans.

Did you know little Ronni

was here? I mean...

-he is historic.

-And boring, you know.

Good-looking dumb

Norwegian guy

goes around the world

having sex with everyone--

women, men, hermaphrodites,

dogs, goats, monkeys.

He'll be the first small

baby to die of syphilis,

but... historic.

Well, apparently he still lives

in the original colony, you know,

over in Norway. I've always

wanted to see that.

It's all right.

You've been there?

Yeah, I go once or twice a year.

Konrad too. We make

business there.

Very good business.

Must be somethin' to see. I--

You know, you can't even

get pictures of it online?

Yes, my friend.

The world is filled

with things to see.

You know, I don't know you, Paul

but I like you,

I like you very much.

And my advice is

get out of this disgusting

little f***ing apartment

and open your eyes.

Don't be so American.

You're nice guy, Paul,

but little bit pathetic guy.

Last night you dance,

you laugh

but inside you cry.

Who are you to talk

to me that way?

I'm Dusan Mirkovic,

your neighbor.

Neighbors are friends.

Friends tell friends the truth.

Okay, maybe sometimes

I'm a little bit a**hole,

but the world needs a**holes.

Otherwise where

would sh*t go out.

Dusan...

-Bye.

-Thank you.

When I think of big

people becoming small

-Mm-mm.

-all the new small cities

in the world, I see opportunity.

I ask myself, Dusan,

why the people they

want to become small?

To help the environment?

Please.

The become small

to have the things

which until now were

only for the rich,

which, by the way, is the

genius of the concept.

So I say to my brother Srdjan--

I work with my brother.

He's still big.

My wife, too, by the way.

I say,

why not bring very special items,

luxury items, to the

small consumer?

The-The things that nobody

else is thinking to bring?

Such as?

Well, Cohiba Esplendido.

Cuba. Best cigar in the world.

How much you pay for this

when you big?

Forty-five, fifty dollars.

When you small,

I sell you this cigar

for one dollar.

And from this one Cohiba,

we make about 2,000 cigars.

Okay, maybe they're not

actually made in Cuba.

Maybe they're rolled by

little Albanians in Bujanovac

but who cares?

And this is just one thing.

There's perfume, cologne,

brandy, port, Calvados,

truffles, caviar, pfft.

Is all that legal?

Baby, this is Wild West.

Who has time

chasing after some

f***ing Serbian guy

five inches tall

over a few cigars

and some wine.

My brother and I are

now in seven small cities

around the world.

Seven.

And Paul, listen, anything

you want, I can get for you.

Anything, anytime.

Excuse me a minute.

Hello?

Uh, can I talk to you

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