Dr. Dolittle 2 Page #3

Hey, the beaver offers you a fish,|you take the fish.

- Joey, shut up.|- Sorry, boss.

I've heard good things about you|from some of the Bay Area families.

From the Bay Area families? Really?|What are you guys, some kind of Mafia?

Mafia? No. We don't know|nothin' about no Mafia. Do we, boys?

- Nah, never heard of it.|- That's a myth.

I'm just a simple fisherman blessed with|many friends. Perhaps you'll be one of them.

- What do you guys want from me?|- Well, I'm losin' my territory.

- What, the other animals movin' in on you?|- Yeah. The human kind.

They're cuttin' down our homes,|bustin' up families.

- They're cuttin' down the whole forest.|- You're talking to the wrong person.

You need to contact one of those|nature groups like the Sierra Club or...

It has to be you, Doc. You're the only one|who knows how to speak human.

Yeah, we can't fight humans on our own.|They got guns, knives and pullout couches.

Sure, I got rabies, I could bite somebody.|But I can only do so much.

- You have no idea what I'm talking about.|- Sure I do. It's man against nature.

But with you on our side, I like the odds.

Me on your side?|I didn't say I was gonna help you.

I didn't say.

Doctor, before you say no, I would|like you to see what we're talkin' about.

It's gone.

Everything... gone.

- How do you save a forest?|- It's not gonna be easy, John.

I would assume the lumber|companies have a lot of clout.

But I do know, if there were a threatened|or an endangered species in the forest...

...there defnitely are laws that protect it.|- How am I gonna find out if there are?

Well... you could ask Eugene.

We found an endangered species of bear,|a female whose mother had been killed.

- She's the only Pacific Western bear there.|- That's good. One bear has to be protected.

Well, no. The lawyers for Potter's Logging|Company argued, since she's the only one...

...there's no chance for survival anyway.|There'd have to be a male, too.

- Pardon me.|- Get a male and let nature take its course.

Unfortunately, the only male Pacific Western|bear we could find was raised in captivity.

Never has a bear raised in captivity|been successfully reintroduced to the wild.

They've never had|the love doctor makin' the intros.

- Psst! Doctor.|- Excuse me a second.

Your man left the barn door open.

- Is somethin' wrong?|- Uh, the... uh...

Oh, jeez. Hope that|Bamm Bamm didn't see that.

- No, the giraffe is the one that was disgusted.|- I am so sorry.

- I know you're really disappointed.|- Disappointed?

About not going to Europe?

- Now, Dad, why would I be disappointed?|- I made you a promise. I'm gonna stick to it.

If you don't want me to do it, I'll understand.

I can say no and not feel guilty|for the rest of my life?

When do we leave?

As soon as we get a court order|to stop the cutting.

Who's gonna argue the case?

- Wh... Why you lookin' around?|- Me?

What "me"? Not me. You.

- No, no, no.|- Yes, yes, yes.

- No, no, no, no.|- Yes, yes, yes, yes.

- No.|- For the animals. For the animals.

- For the animals? I don't do animal law.|- Do it for the animals.

That's specieism.|You're a specieist. You're a specieist!

No, Your Honour. We're simply asking for an|injunction to have a chance to save a species.

Your Honour, this is|a delaying tactic/publicity stunt.

Saving a species? I have affidavits|signed by a range of experts...

...who all concur that|to take a bear raised in captivity...

...and reintroduce it into the wild|is, well, dangerous and irresponsible.

A bear raised by "circus folk" wouldn't know|how to feed itself or interact with real bears...

...let alone make it through its first winter.

No. It would certainly succumb to|Darwin's law of nature: Survival of the fittest.

- Actually...|- Well, yeah, but Darwin's never met my dad.

Young lady, that's inappropriate behaviour.|And just who is your father?

Sir, Your Honour, that's me.|I'm her father. Name's Dolittle.

- Dr Dolittle.|- Dr Dolittle?

Do you feel you could rehabilitate a tame|bear and mate it in the wild with a female?

Yes, I do, Your Honour.

In that case, I'll grant a one-month's delay|on the harvesting of Campbell's Grove.

- For one month, Dr Dolittle. That's it.|- Thank you, sir.

And, Doctor, if that bear should so much as|set one paw in a camp site or this town...

...I'll rescind this order immediately.

I understand completely. Thank you.

Thank you, Your Honour.

Dr Dolittle! Over here!

Dr Dolittle, you speak to|both domestic and wild animals.

Can the circus bear relate to a forest bear?

Well, I only know that|he's been living in captivity...

...so I'm sure he'll be really|happy to return to the wild.

So much for a family vacation.|But Doc fgured "How hard could this be?"

That was before he met Archie.

Ladies and gentlemen, he's the bear with|flair, the walkin' rug with an adorable mug.

Archie the bear!

# Get your motor runnin'

# Head out on the highway!

They love me. Go.

# Born to be wild

Archie! Oh! Ow!

Archie! And that's the show!

Phew! Big-boned gal, huh?

- Yeah, I guess so.|- You got any action shots?

No, but you'd be lucky|to wind up with somebody like her.

Oh, look, I have had|so many girlfriends, you know...

OK, look, I've never had a girlfriend, but bring|her by on Monday. That's when I'm dark, OK?

No, I can't bring her here.|You have to go to her.

- Whoa, whoa. Go to her? Where?|- She's in the forest.

Ooh, I don't play forests.|I'm strictly state-fair, small-arena-type bear.

- Archie, do you know what bear you are?|- Um, let's see. Yes.

- I'm a singer, dancer, three years' tap.|- No, Archie, you're an endangered species.

Hey, is that a threat, buddy?|Because my lawyer will be down...

It's not a threat. I'm saying you're|a rare bear. You're a Pacific Western bear.

- You know what that is?|- Yes.

I can play any kind of bear. I've got|grizzly, panda, polar. Check out my polar:

- "I am freezing! It is cold!"|- OK, I haven't made it clear enough.

- Your ancestors come from California.|- Yes, blah, blah...

At six months, they took|you from your mother...

...and taught you to wiggle your hips|to a recording of "Hound Dog".

No, I taught myself that.

I admit, I pander|cos I'm a pander bear! Get it?

Yes, funny stuff, Archie.

But what I'm proposing is I'd like to take|you back to where your ancestors roamed...

...and teach you to be a real bear.

Look, I like the bear I am, OK? I'm famous.

Have you been in the gift shop?|I have my own Beanie Baby.

You do this, you'll be the|most famous bear in all the world.

- Bigger than Pooh?|- Are you kiddin' me?

You pull this off, they'll|be sayin' "Winnie the Who?"

You've got yourself a bear.

And, in what must be one of|the most unusual stories of the year...

...Dr John Dolittle is trying|to rewrite the laws of nature...

...by attempting to reintroduce|a performing bear into the wild.

And, in doing so, he hopes to save|an entire forest from destruction.

- It's Darwin versus Dolittle.|- Oh, get over yourself.

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