Dr. Dolittle 2 Page #4

Governor, I've got two|lumber mills waiting for that wood.

I understand, Joe, but it's complicated,|especially if that endangered bear survives.

- If I don't meet my quota, you'll be in danger!|- Now, now, JP. Not to worry.

That ridiculous bear|is bound to screw up at least once.

When he does,|you'll have yourself a new trophy.

And I've gotjust the place to put him.

So we all moved to the forest|and waited for Archie to arrive.

Now, while the family got settled, it was|time I started looking out for number one.

Ha-ha!

This looks like it's|as good a place as any here.

Ah, the simple pleasures of life.

Holy Lord. That wolf is a fox.

I hope I don't have dog breath|from licking my own... Never mind.

Oh, you like that? Yeah, that was me.

Plenty more where that came from,|know what I mean?

Grr to you, too.

What is that? Some kind of secret|wild-lady-dog code for "You like me"?

Yeah, I do some dancing.|Here's a move I call the backscratcher.

Pretty cool, huh?

Hey, hot lady dog, wait.|Where are you goin'? Call me.

And so the big day fnally came...

...and I had a feeling the fur was gonna fly.

You all know why we're here. We're about to|do something that's never been done before.

And everyone thinks that we can't pull this|off, and they got their trucks ready to roll.

We're gonna prove 'em wrong, right?

That's right. I want everybody|to put their claws together...

...and how about a big round of applause|for the bear who'll lead the way?

Let's hear it for Archie! Yeah!

Come on!

Are you ready to save the forest?

Well, put your paws up.|Put your paws up. Come on, now. Put...

Is this some kind ofjoke?

I wanna go serious on you for a second.|I know I've got my work cut out for me...

...but with your help, I know one thing.

Now. Go.

# I will survive|Yes, I will survive

# Oh, yes, I know how to love|I know I'll stay alive

# Yes, I will survive

# For as long as I know how to love|I know I'll stay alive

# Everybody! Dah, dah, dah...

- We're dead.|- Never more.

- This show's over.|- Let's go fool around.

- You got your work cut out for you, Doc.|- OK, I'm done. That's good. Turn it off.

You're not real.|You're Wayne Newton in a suit.

It's so dirty. Look at my paws.

Yes, it's the woods.|Its chief component is dirt.

- Wait. Doc, is that her? She's a babe.|- Yeah, that's her.

Oh, look at the way she moves.|Man, would I love to see her wet.

- I'm gonna introduce you. Wait here, OK?|- Yeah, good.

Hey, tell her I really dig her fat pouch,|but don't be crude.

- I'll try to work that in.|- OK. Good.

Wait. Hey. God.

Oh, are you coming over here?|I'm a little busy foraging.

- Hi. Hello. My name is John.|- I'm Ava.

Hi, Ava. That's a pretty name.|Nice to meet you.

- Hi.|- A quick question, Ava.

How would you like to meet|the man of your dreams?

- You're real cute, but I don't go interspecies.|- Oh, no, I'm not talking about me.

I shouldn't have said man.|I should've said bear.

What do you think of that|big hunk of bear over there?

Um, I don't think I see him.

- Oh, is he standing behind that dork?|- Oh, no, he is...

Let me explain what's going on. A logging|company's gonna tear down the whole forest.

And the only thing that can stop them is if|I can get two Pacific Western bears together.

You're a Pacific Western bear, so is he. If you|two made little Pacific Western bears, then...

- You see where I'm going?|- Yeah. Look, I don't talk to bear pimps.

Wait. At least let me call him over. Please?|Hey, Archie, come over here.

Hey, Johnny, there you are. Come on,|I thought we could go work out. Jeez.

- OK, Archie, you're on.|- What do I say to her?

- Get to know her. Tell her about yourself.|- Hi, I'm Archie.

I like moonlit walks on the beach, sharing|slop buckets with that special someone...

...and soulful sounds of the Backstreet Boys.

- You're very weird.|- Weird as in sexy?

No, just weird.

- Archie, let me take it from here. It was good.|- OK... Damn!

So, Ava... what do ya think of Archie?|Cute, huh?

- Don't make me eat you.|- Oh, stop that.

He's uncomfortable|around females at first, but...

That's not even really the point.|I need a real bear.

Someone who can hunt|and protect and provide for me.

- Oh, OK, I can understand that.|- Oh, and I'm already involved with someone.

Really? You have a boyfriend already?|A bearfriend.

- Are you in love with this bear?|- Love? My cousin married for love.

Next thing she knows he's two-timing her|with this hot grizzly in a cave up north.

- So you're not in love?|- No.

Let's make a deal. Don't make any decisions|for a month. I'll work with Archie.

In a month I'll turn that bear into a bear you|will be proud to have bear cubs with, OK?

Check it out! I've flipped for you!

Pine cone.

- Hey.|- Hey.

Mm.

- Mm, perfect night.|- Mm-hm.

Sittin' out here, breathin' this fresh air,|listenin' to the crickets chirp.

Yup.

You know what the crickets are saying?

I don't know what they're saying.|I don't speak to animals, you do.

Monkeys don't ask me for a forty ounce.|I don't say "Can I help you, little animal?"

- Whoa.|- I listen to music.

- Do you see me talking to the animals?|- Whoa. Slow it down.

I was just gonna tell you|crickets are nature's thermometers.

You can tell how cold it is|by how fast they chirp.

OK.

- It seems a little cold out here, doesn't it?|- Yeah. A little nippy.

Maybe I need to go get my vest. Yeah.

Yo. Fake Dr Dre and Snoop.

Hey, and get a tune-up, man. Get a tune-up.

- Yo, wassup, baby?|- Hey, Eric.

- Mmmm.|- Oh... Hey! Hey! You left your homey!

- Wassup, Dr D?|- I don't know. Maybe you should tell me.

Yo. I came to visit. Since y'all love me so|much, I was gonna stay a while, if it was cool.

Oh, no, no. Hell, no.|Charisse, I don't understand.

- What's not there to understand, Dad?|- Eric with bags.

- He's staying for a few nights. Mom said so.|- Oh, your mother said so.

Oh. OK, Eric, you're gonna be on the floor|in the living room in a sleeping bag...

...if you don't have a problem with that.|And, by the way, Eric, I'm watching you.

And notjust me. I got eyes|all around the woods. I talk to birds.

- Thanks, Dad.|- Yes. So watch your back.

- I hear you.|- Yeah, you feel me? OK. All right.

I'm watching... I'm watching you, Eric.|I'm watching your back!

Bears are opportunistic eaters,|fnding food wherever they can...

- Can we please see what else is on?|- No, we can't see what else is on.

You need to watch this, Archie, to learn how|to feed yourself and survive in the winter.

- What is he doing, diggin'?|- Never wondered why you have sharp claws?

Uh, no.

- Bears are excellent swimmers.|- Not this bear.

You're not gonna tell me you can't swim?

Wait, you haven't heard?|There's a new invention. It's called: The boat.

That's the last straw. We're getting up at the|crack of dawn and I'm teaching you to fish.

- How about noonish?|- Unbelievable.

So began the Bearathon, a training|mission so grisly, so un-bear-able, so hairy...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes