Dr. Dolittle 2 Page #5

OK, enough.

- All right, Archie, this river's full of fish.|- Yup. So is Red Lobster.

Hey, don't look at me. Look at the water.

They're moving. Oh, one just|touched me. One just touched me!

Look, you big furry baby, put|your face in that water and grab a fish.

- No.|- Archie, do just like you saw on TV.

Put your face under the water and catch a|fish. You can do it. I'm here with you. Go on.

All right. I'll try it.

All right. 1, 2, 3.

- That's Archie!|- Wassup?

- Wassup?|- Wassup?

Oh, wassup?

OK. OK, get one.

Archie!

Hey! Archie!

Archie!

Tell me how smart you have to be to lift your|head out of the water when you can't breathe.

I saw a light. It was a bright light.|It was beautiful.

- OK, that's it. We're gonna toughen you up.|- What? What?

- We'll find something even you can catch.|- I saw my grandma.

- Go on, eat.|- Oh, I...

- Come on, eat!|- I don't eat the... I'm good, thanks.

- OK, am I close?|- Cold.

Use the Force.

- Colder? Warmer?|- Arctic.

- So, how's it going?|- Great. I'm not even gonna need three weeks.

Honey, he's already foraging grapes.

- Why's he walkin' away from 'em?|- He's not walkin' away. He's circling them.

- Why? Are they dangerous grapes?|- No, no. The grapes aren't dangerous, Eric.

- Seriously, where are the grapes?|- Don't worry. We're right on schedule.

Ah, gettin' dizzy. Oh!

I'm OK! The concrete broke my fall!

Definite bruise.

Explain this again. I'm supposed to climb into|a small, dark space and sleep for six months?

- That's what bears do. It's called hibernation.|- Sounds more like depression.

- Wait, how do I eat?|- You don't eat.

You eat a lot during the summer|and that lasts you throughout the winter.

- And the bathroom?|- There's no going to the bathroom.

What? You kiddin'?

I'm serious. What you do is|a week before you hibernate...

...you start eatin' things like dirt|and moss and hair and grass...

...and it forms a big plug in your, um...|It plugs up your... Well, you know.

- It blocks my butt?|- Oh, yeah, blocks it all up...

...with this big, nasty, hairy plug|of hair and grass. Big, nasty plug.

Whoa, whoa, wait.

So you want me to sleep for six months|with a big cork in my butt?

- Yeah, that's the idea of it.|- OK, goodbye.

- Hey, Archie. Archie, come back here!|- Nope, I'm gone. See ya.

- Headin' south?|- Archie, no one'll pick up a hitchhikin' bear.

I'll split the gas and|sit in the back with the kids.

- Come on, Archie. Stop it.|- Sorry, Doc. This isn't workin' out.

I almost drowned. Ava doesn't like me.

I'm sick and tired of your complaining.|Look up in this tree. What do you see, huh?

- Bird.|- Right. A bird in his home.

On the branch below is a squirrel in his home|and by the fence is a rabbit in his home.

All these animals are depending on you. You|can do this. Just listen to your inner bear.

Just trust him. He'll tell you|what to do. Trust him. Come on.

OK, but I gotta tell you my inner bear|has a problem with the butt-plug.

That's it. I'm gonna show you what happens|to animals that don't have a home.

Hello, Clarice.

- Doc, this isn't really necessary.|- It's time for a little tough love. Come on.

Looky here. What's the matter, boy?|Couldn't make it on the outside?

Hey, come on in, powder puff.

- Right. Go on in there.|- Wha... Why?

There's a couple of bears|that wanna meet you. Go.

I'll just sit over on that side of the cell.

I'm tired of this madness.

- I'll bite you!|- Yes. Dolittle. Oh, hi, honey.

Don't like to hunt or fish?

Know what I'd give to be|in the forest instead of in this dump?

- God. Doc!|- Oh, do I hear someone talkin'?

See, that's the problem with kids today -|no respect. Kid thinks he knows my life.

- I think he needs us to teach him a lesson.|- No, I just...

I'm gonna give him a bear hug.|Let me give you a bear hug, Tiny.

No, it's going well. I finally got this under...

...control.

- # Her name was Lola|- Yeah!

- # She was a show bear|- Let me call you back.

# With yellow feathers in her hair

- # And her dress cut down to there|- Where?

- # At the Copa, Copacabana...|- Doc, everyone in this place loves musicals.

I'm kidding. I get it. I'll try harder.

Meanwhile, while the cat's away the mice|will play. And by mice, I mean teenagers.

- Are your eyes still closed?|- Here they come.

- You did all this?|- OK, boys. Remember what the doc said?

If he gets fresh, we let him have it. Capeesh?

- I got wings, legs, tacos, whatever.|- Taco? Did somebody say "taco"?

No, no, blend in, blend in.|You're gonna blow our cover.

Charisse, there's somethin' I've been|meanin' to do since we got out here.

Really? What's that?

This.

Now!

He French-kissed me! Brragh! Pah!

Now that worked out nicely.|The drinks are on me, Jenny.

Meanwhile the doctor gave|Archie and me some lessons of our own.

Leave a little for me. Technically it's my...

- Just a thought.|- Hey, what's goin' on here?

I've been so blessed, I feel|I should give back to the hot lady dog.

You don't have to put up with that.|Hey, get outta here. Yah! Go! Yah!

- That is one hot fox!|- What's the matter with you two?

Every female looks for the strongest male.

- But what about personality?|- I'm gonna die a virgin.

Shut up and listen. The strongest male|is called the alpha male. He's the big boss.

He wants everybody to know it. You|have to be him. The boss of all the males.

The alpha male. You have to learn|how to walk like the alpha male.

- Walk the walk.|- Walk the walk.

- Right. Talk the alpha male talk.|- I'm still on the walk.

It's about power and respect.

It's about pure, unchecked, uncompromised|testosterone-driven male power!

- John, I asked you to line the garbage pails.|- You line 'em your damn self, woman!

- What?|- Sorry, honey. I was talkin' to the animals.

- I got riled up. I was teaching 'em something.|- Stop messing with them. Get us some food.

I'm on my way. Gonna get the food, honey.

- Go.|- On my way.

- Way to go, alpha male. Talk the talk.|- Shut up!

- Who are you telling to shut up?|- I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to them.

I'm going to get the food.

- You sure you don't want another one?|- No, I'm fine.

OK.

I got a question. Let's say you spend|your whole life in show business...

What's gonna be your big finish?|Every act has one.

Big finish? Check it out:|San Francisco Bee...

..."The best thing about|Archie's act is when it's finished. "

No, I mean in life.|Who you gonna share your success with?

Your hopes, dreams, fears and failures?

Everything I do wouldn't mean anything, if|I didn't have my wife and kids to go home to.

Sometimes I do get very lonely.|I've never been in love.

OK, this is your big chance.|I think Ava really likes you.

Did she say something? What did she say?

You gotta learn to read|between the lines sometimes.

- She loves me? I knew it!|- Let's not get carried away. All right, Archie?

I feel like I'm about to burst.|So this is what love feels like, right? Oh.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes