Dragnet Page #3

Why don't you listen and learn?

What a deep honour it is for this city

that you have chosen Los Angeles...

to be the new focal point for

the Moral Advance Movement of America.

It's quite simple, Jane.

If one wishes to effect a financial

upheaval in this country...

one should set his or her sights

on Wall Street.

If one wishes to revolutionize

the political system...

he or she would naturally

go to Washington.

But when dealing...

with pornography, filth, crime...

degradation...

what better place is there to begin with

than Los Angeles...

the current capital of depravity...

in what sadly passes

for the modern world.

We had been advised to follow up on

a theft at 8823467 Magnolia Boulevard.

At this time of day,

it took us 20 minutes to get there.

The complainant was the landlady,

Enid Borden.

Some Pagan cards had been found.

- What the hell do you want?

- Police officers, ma'am.

About time you pencil d*cks showed up.

Why couldn't you have gotten here

before that big, bad...

stupid-Iooking piece of sewage breath

stole my wedding dress?

Sewage breath would be

your nickname for...

Muzz. Emil Muzz.

Not much of an improvement.

That ass-wipe also stiffed me for two

months' rent when his cheque bounced.

Goddam puss-faced pimp stick.

All that was left in his room...

was a big box of these things.

Any idea where Emil Muzz could be now?

Friends? Family?

He was a Ioner.

Took off in the middle of the night.

Useless scum-lapping shitbag.

Just the facts, ma'am.

He leave anything else behind?

Yeah, a tape deck which I had to sell

to make up for the lost rent.

So there's nothing you can do about it,

you slimy little jizz bucket.

Yes, ma'am. Although you could be cited

for swearing at us.

Says who, flathead?

The California penal code 314.1

covering obscene conduct in public.

Good enough for you?

Them magazines and papers

were his down in the trash.

No cheques or money. I looked.

I should've thrown it in the river

the day he left...

but unlike some people,

I have a heart, goddam it!

That miserable bag of puke.

I think we're finished here,

don't you, Detective Streebek?

Didn't she say she threw

some of his stuff in the trash?

There it goes. Let's roll.

Am I glad I got transferred

into Robbery-Homicide!

You can almost reach out

and touch the tension.

What the hell was that?

It has its days.

Yeah. Like today.

Sitting in a park, getting eaten

by ducks, sifting through garbage.

Hello! Photographs of people.

Kinda faded.

- Maybe one of them's Muzz.

- We couldn't be that lucky.

Hey, phone number.

Think it means something?

There's only one way to find out,

isn't there?

It's for you. The president.

It's ringing.

- Good afternoon. Caesar residence.

- Bingo.

- Hello. May I help you?

- Emil Muzz, please.

- He's not here right now.

- This is Sergeant Friday, L.A.P.D.

Could you tell us where he is?

He's Mr Caesar's driver...

and Mr Caesar's sailing on his yacht.

That's it.

The limousine from the mansion.

Yeah, and Emil Muzz.

Let's check Enid Borden's description.

Well...

"Big, bad, stupid-Iooking."

An exact match.

Police officers. Emil Muzz?

We need to ask you

a few questions.

Blow it out your pants, cop.

Good, Muzz.

Give yourself a hard time.

I'll drive!

- What are you doing?

- Calling for backup.

- Why?

- There are regulations for pursuit.

- We're gonna follow every one of them.

- Forget it. This is our collar.

- Our collar, huh?

- I think so.

Let me tell you something,

Mr Lone Wolf.

The dedicated people of the Los Angeles

Police Department are one big family...

from my brother, the traffic cop,

to my sister, the metre maid.

And when one of us makes a collar,

we all make a collar.

Are you on any medication that as

your partner I should be made aware of?

I am requesting a backup...

Oh, no! Ahh!

Look out!

Look out! Muppets.

Reckless endangerment of human life,

wilful disregard of private property...

- He's really racking up the violations.

- Not him, you!

Your ticket back to civilian life, Mr

l-Like-To-Throw-The-Book-Out-The-Window.

That's a good idea.

Ever been to Hawaii?

Look out!

Surf's up, but not for you.

You'll be hanging 10 downtown.

Read him his rights.

Emil Muzz, guess what!

You are under arrest!

Sit down, unless you're growing!

We've got you on

'87 motre vehicle violations.

It's only time before we tie you in

to one of those Pagan jobs.

And you stole

your landlady's wedding dress...

which is the only endearing thing

about you, so talk to us.

Listen, you public pawn.

My attorney's on his way.

We both know I'll be out

on bail.

So take off these cuffs

and open the door!

I wouldn't worry about the door. Scum

who'd represent you would ooze under it.

Joe, why don't you go get

a couple cups of coffee?

I could use one.

You want anything?

Chewing gum, Snickers bar,

and my attorney, badge kisser!

Well, Emil.

It's just you...

and me...

and your balls...

and this drawer.

By the time I had returned with coffee,

Muzz was singing like Beverly Sills.

He had been planning to attend a meeting

that night at the Pagan clubhouse...

but he refused to divulge the time

or location of that meeting.

Muzz, let's run through it again.

You say you're a Pagan, but you work for

Jerry Caesar. That makes you a plant.

Make it easy on yourself.

Lead us to the stolen magazines.

Jump on this and spin, cop.

I'm not saying another word

until my attorney gets here!

Joe...

wouldn't a couple of Danishes

go good with this coffee?

At 7:
13 p.m., Captain Gannon authorized

us to stake out Muzz's clubhouse...

Iocated in the ecologically-balanced

San Gabriel Mountains.

When a code-5 authorization for

undercover surveillance is approved...

officers proceed to the building

where the department has research...

on the precise behaviour and dress

of today's average street gang member.

Friday, I think we finally found

your look.

We were issued appropriate apparel

and withdrew from receiving...

one distressed

It's right up here, off highway 61!

Yeah. Probably some

rat-hole roadhouse...

where they watch TV

and suck beers all day.

Uh-oh. Highway patrol.

And they're pulling us over.

- Licence and registration.

- What was the offence?

- It's okay. They're Pagans.

- Yeah?

Yeah. Show 'em your card, Muzz, Emil.

Yeah, that's right. That's me.

Muzz, Emil. Emil Muzz.

I've been sick.

Sorry to bother you, fellas.

We can't be too careful, huh?

We don't want any non-Pagans

around here.

Especially tonight, right? Huh?

Follow us, fellas.

The party's just starting!

Bogus cops!

No matter how many times I see that,

it never ceases to disgust me.

People dressing up in strange clothes

pretending to be who they're not?

Exactly! That kind of behaviour...

Just get out that list

of stolen black and whites.

Oh, yeah, it's hot, all right.

Yeah.

Howdy. I'm Emil Muzz,

and I'm a Pagan.

Good evening, Pagans.

Don't forget your goat leggings.

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