Dream Wife Page #5

Yes, yes you can.

Tell her that she looks like a beautiful flower.

Katan, katan!

Stop that. It's all right now.

We're engaged.

Oh, please. Will you explain to him?

Oh, he knows it better than you do.

Until the wedding you can't embrace her,

or kiss her, or anything.

After the wedding she becomes your property.

You make me sound like a landlord.

Certainly a little kiss.

As far as they're concerned

there's no such thing as a little kiss.

You'll just have to control yourself

till after the wedding.

Then will you please explain to him

that all that's been arranged for next Tuesday.

What's the matter?

He says the date of the wedding has already been set

according to astronomical calculations.

For when?

Three months from today.

Three months? Why, that's ridiculous!

It won't do you any good to argue with him.

Tell him I refuse to wait three months.

There was nothing about the three months

in the arrangements.

I don't believe in long engagements.

My whole family feels the same way.

My grandfather and my grandmother were married

the same day they met.

Good enough for them.

Three months! Do you realize that's ninety days?

Do you know how many hours that is?

Neither do I, but it must be an awful lot.

Three months. I won't stand for it.

Three months. That's the end.

Three...

Oh, I don't know.

Three months of this might not be too bad.

While I searched the book of love...

a wise voice whispered happy is he...

happy is he who holds in his house a love...

a love more lovely than the moon...

and dreams...

dreams of a lifetime longer than a year.

Did she say that?

Omar Khayyam said it.

My love for you called you to me

across half the world.

I'm so sorry. I didn't hear that.

My love for you... I mean her, of course.

Yes.

Has called you... I mean...

I understand who's who.

Well, then, tell her yourself.

What did you tell her?

I said you wished to cut your tongue out

because you could not speak

your love for her in her own language.

That's very good!

Comfy?

Yeah, hm-hmm.

After we're married, ask her how many er...

How many what?

Never mind. I'll wait until she learns English.

I'll ask her that myself, thank you.

Bukistanians believe in large families,

if that answers your question.

Now wait a minute, just...

Tarji, darling...

Now listen, listen...

Table... table...

Table.

That's very... Oh, this is going to be a cinch.

I don't think I'll need you for the moment.

Would you mind going over to the corner, relaxing?

That's a good girl.

Go somewhere, thank you.

Good, Tarji. Humm...

Couch... couch.

Couch.

Yes, darling, couch.

Yes, yes...

Couch.

Uhm... Oh, ashtray, see?

Ashtray.

Ashtray see.

Ashtray...

No, no, not the "see", dear, just the...

Never mind. We'll get to that later.

Fruit.

Fruit.

Fruit.

Prune.

Prune.

Well, hmm...

Prune.

Prune.

That's better, but uh...

Pruuuune,

Pruuuune...

Katan!

Katan!

You big silly ox!

Here, catch.

Now how long can a man stand this?

In three months I'll be a nervous wreck.

What does he think he is, the Iron Curtain?

He is until you're married.

You tell him we're in America now.

There are certain customs that...

What were you saying?

Uh, what was I saying? What, what?

Something about customs.

Oh, oh!

Well, there are certain customs that are sacred.

And I'm not the man to violate them.

I should say not.

If they want to separate their boys and girls,

then I say separate them.

What are three months?

Why, they go by like that.

Clem!

Do you know the mark of a mature man?

Patience. The ability to wait for what he wants.

That is the key to the situation.

Well, I think I'll be running along.

Give everybody a chance to get

a good night's sleep.

I think that's a very good idea.

Yes, would you do me a favor?

Would you please tell Tarji that I'll see her very soon.

She says her heart will be unable to wait.

May I drop you at your house?

No, thanks. I think I'll get a cab.

Well, good night all.

Darling.

Darling, I'm back.

Oh, I wish I could speak with you in your language.

There's so much I want to tell you.

But all you need to know now is that I love you.

It won't be easy to be patient but I want you to know

that I'll wait as long as necessary.

And that I'll want you more each day.

Darling, it seems I've waited all my life for you.

And in just a little while we...

And in just a little while...

Badabani.

Katan, katan!

Shhh! You'll wake everyone up!

Mr. Reade!

I'm certainly not going to stay

in such a noisy hotel.

You may go in now, Mr. Reade.

With our deepest regrets and sincere assurance

to your excellency

that there will not be a repetition of last night's er...

Last night's unfortunate incident.

Good. How does the whole thing sound?

Fine, I'll send it by special cable.

Good morning, Romeo.

Yes, yes, yes...

You sent for me?

Yes, sit down, Reade.

Now you look here. I'm a citizen...

And there are a few things

that I've got to make clear to you, citizen.

The State Department has enough troubles

without worrying about your love life.

As far as I'm concerned you can have a harem.

But when your irresponsible actions jeopardize

the functions of this Office

then I'm going to crack down.

You were warned about this sort of thing, Reade.

You're making a mountain out of a mole hill.

And you were told to keep away

from that mole hill until after you were married.

Tarji is my fiance. If I want to kiss her,

what do you expect me to do?

Telephone the Secretary of State?

Now look, Reade. I don't care to have the State Department

put in the position of playing Peeping Tom.

But for the next three months you're going to behave

like Whistler's Mother.

You stick to protocol

and we will not have any more trouble.

Whistler's Mother?

Just remember what I told you. Don't get too friendly.

Thank you. I'll remember.

Good!

You forgot to give me the key.

I haven't any...

key.

I beg your pardon.

I'll show myself out.

Did you explain the facts of life to him?

He knows them. That's our problem.

Now that he understands, maybe...

My dear Effie, you know all about countries,

but there are a few things

you've got to learn about men.

You are moving in with the princess tonight.

Oh, Mr. Reade.

Good evening.

I've been waiting to talk to you.

Really? Anything wrong?

Yes.

It's about that bearded gentleman.

You mean our friend the skyscraper.

He's been trying to buy our chambermaids.

He has?

Yes, he's been offering them physicians in the Khan's harem.

I hope he hasn't offended them.

Offended them?

Six of the girls have already accepted.

Well, I'll speak to Miss Effington about that.

Good evening, Tarji.

Oh, she shouldn't do that.

You're telling me.

Oh, yes, it's the lady from the translation bureau.

Why don't you run along and see

a French movie or something?

This is better than a French movie.

There's a good chance I may not need you anymore.

What's the matter, what...

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