Dream Wife Page #6

What are you trying to say?

"Nonmoki"... you know...

Oh, you mean "Monkomi Bukistani sabeh"

Here, Katan, kattatch.

That fellow catches everything, except pneumonia.

Now that you're here

you might as well make yourself useful.

Tell Tarji that she looks enchanting tonight.

And don't spare the adjectives.

Yeah... here we go again.

This is the life.

You'd have been a smash in the Middle Ages.

Yes, yes, yes.

Tell Tarji I've been longing to see her all day.

And put a little feeling into it.

What did she say?

She said there is no moon until you walk

into her presence.

Oh, isn't that nice.

Is there any answer, Moon Man?

Tarji, now that we're alone...

I want you to know how sorry I am

about the key last night.

Key?

Yes, dear, the key.

You see, I'm afraid it was

one of those unfortunate things...

Key.

No, no, darling...

you don't understand. You keep this.

See?

No, I can't take the key.

Key.

Tarji, you mustn't do this.

Clem.

I'd love to, but we need oil.

I mean, we'll have plenty of time to be together.

Right now, a little thing like a key seems important...

Key.

But, but...

Oh, Tarji...

I'm sorry about the interruption.

One of the dancing girls discovered the telephone

and she won't get off it.

She probably thinks she's an American woman.

Shall I translate that for Tarji?

No, no, let's wait for something funnier.

Well, it's been a hard day...

You're not going already?

Do you mind?

MacBride neglected to tell me my bedtime...

but I'm sure the State Department won't object

if I retire early.

May I drop you?

No, thanks, I'm going to stick around for a while.

Tell Tarji that until I see her again

the birds will have no song.

Oh, brother.

Now, look!

All right, all right, the birds will have no song.

Well, good night.

Oh, Moon Man...

Hm?

You forgot your shoes.

Darling.

Darling, I'm back, I'm back!

You see, nothing can ever keep us apart.

Not the State Department, nor protocol,

nor Effie.

Especially Effie.

We will be rid of them soon

and your little moon man will be all yours.

Oh, it seems I've waited all my life for you.

I never loved anyone before I met you, dear.

I'm afraid I must go now

so there won't be any trouble.

But just one kiss before I leave...

Oh, there you are!

I've been looking everywhere for you.

I know, I can go in now.

Oh, you're not MacBride, he's taller.

Where's he?

On the phone trying to explain you to Washington.

I know you won't believe this, but I only

went back there to give her a good night kiss.

I didn't expect to start a riot.

Look at that?

Where'd you get the key?

I found it.

At least you're a chivalrous liar.

Tarji told me she gave you the key.

She thought you were asking for it.

I was asking for it, all right.

I wish I could explain Tarji to you, Clem.

Her only concern is to please you.

That's the way she was brought up.

Any whim of yours is law to her.

That's a terrible power to hold over anybody.

No one will ever hold that power over you,

will they, Effie?

We're not discussing me.

Oh, well, citizen.

Hi.

You're becoming quite a problem.

Oh, not really, I'm just a normal, high-spirited

American boy.

We're going to see if we can control those high spirits.

I don't know why I have to feel like Benedict Arnold

every time I want to kiss the girl I'm going to marry.

The American people have stood

for inflation and high taxes

but let Washington try to control everything

and you'll have a revolution.

Well, I'll remember.

Miss Effington tells me that you're not entirely

to blame for last night.

She did?

She came up with a very excellent suggestion.

We've just cabled to Bukistan...

for permission to have the wedding right away.

Well, now we're getting somewhere.

I thought it would serve the best interests of everyone.

I never doubted it.

Now, there's to be a reception for Tarji

tonight at the Bukistanian Consulate.

You're welcome to invite your friends.

Oh, really, you're too kind.

Technically you'll be on Bukistanian soil this evening

so you'll be expected to behave accordingly.

You can always count on me.

I'll be there to explain their customs to you.

I had a feeling you'd be there.

Have you had a chance to look at that?

Well, I'll see you at the party tonight,

is that right?

We'll need their approval on this.

We'll meet over there, huh?

This pertains to Raffidat.

Yeah, well, Raffidat.

Where is she?

You'll meet her.

Here, put my gloves in your pocket.

But, darling, I'm already carrying your compact.

Do as I tell you.

There she is.

Good evening, Clem.

Hello, Eff.

Good evening, Tarji.

Hey, did you see that?

I certainly did.

Tell her that she looks like a goddess.

Why don't you say those things to me?

I think you know everyone here.

Would you introduce them, please?

Oh, thank heavens, I'm so thirsty I could die.

Don't! You mustn't touch that.

The drinks are just for the men.

I'm afraid I don't understand.

I explained it to Clem this afternoon.

This is the Bukistanian Consulate and there are certain

strict customs which we are expected to observe.

Well, I never!

Thank you, Tarji.

Now, gentlemen, help yourselves.

Well, very nice, thank you.

Well, to the ladies.

I never heard of such a thing.

When in Rome, Jean...

Don't you dare enjoy that.

No, darling.

What else can't the Bukistanian women do?

Oh, they can do everything. And do it better.

How do you know?

Uh...

Thank you, Tarji.

That means dinner is served.

Good, I'm starved.

Wait!

Would you walk three paces behind

your husbands, please?

Well, these fellows really live, eh?

I'm sorry. This table is for the men.

Do you mean to say I can't eat with my husband?

In Bukistan the women do not eat with the men.

They eat separately at their own table.

The women will eat over there.

How far did you say it is to Bukistan?

Clem, I've never seen anything like Tarji.

I thought you were exaggerating.

She's incredible.

If I ever treated May that way, she'd shoot me.

Clem, how did you train her to light your cigarette?

I didn't train her.

She's not a trick dog.

All she cares about is whether I'm happy.

It's a natural instinct.

Some instinct.

Tell us about some of her other instincts.

You haven't seen anything yet.

I can't wait.

Hey, delicious, what is it?

Goat meat.

Oh, dear. You know, I'm getting tired of all this.

All these crowds all the time.

Nothing but people.

What exactly did you have in mind?

Anything.

I'd just like to be alone with Tarji sometime.

Just alone with her.

We could go walking somewhere.

We might even go walking in the park.

If you're planning on disappearing with her, forget it.

Effie!

When you're out with Tarji there are certain

protocol that must be observed.

Of course.

And we will observe it.

Together.

Ughh.

Tomorrow we can go for a nice walk in the park.

Now, lie down, Bonzo. It's feeding time.

Oh, for heaven's sakes. Will you tell her

she's in America now? She can't go on like this.

But this is what you wanted, isn't it?

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