Dream Wife Page #7

Certainly not. She's like Brutus.

Darling, you eat with me.

We eat together.

Ashtray?

Oh...

Explain it to her, will you?

It's going to be pretty difficult.

I'm doing 3000 years of history, but I'll try.

Just tell her that now... now...

She adores me.

Good morning, sir, or madam,

or a small child...

...as the case may be.

As the case may be. That's very good, Tarji. Go on.

In the morning I have breakfast with my brother...

John.

Hm-hmm.

Why Clem angry?

Angry?

Yes, he not do like me anymore.

Ah, it isn't that, Tarji. In America it's different.

Women walk with their husbands and eat with them.

American women are proud. They fought

for their freedom and they've become a part of history.

Women like Harriet Beecher Stowe and Amelia Bloomer.

Bloomer?

Yes, Bloomer.

Bloomer.

Tell me, Bloomer.

Well...

Clara Barton started American Red Cross.

Yes... Now what has that to do with any...

Good night.

Badabani.

It's been quite an evening.

Wee!

Wee!

Darling, fetch me a drink.

No ice, a twitch of lemon and easy on the water.

No, no, you've had enough.

Put her to bed. I'll see her tomorrow.

Oh, my goodness. She's high as a kite.

Flown by Benjamin Franklin, a man.

Good night, Mrs. Frankenstein.

For me?

Thank you.

Hey, you!

That's okay, I'll take care of her.

Hey, wait a minute.

You forgot to pay for your drink back there.

Pay?

Sure, you don't get anything for nothing, you know.

But that's all right. I took care of it myself.

You ate very friendlike.

I was hoping you'd look at it that way.

I wouldn't want you to think I was one of those fresh guys.

Fresh? What is fresh?

That's what I always say.

What is fresh?

What's the matter whether you introduce yourself

or somebody else does it for you.

My name's George Seegley. What's yours?

Tarji.

You live around here, honey?

I live in big hotel.

Oh.

See?

You certainly do.

Are you free tonight?

Of course. I am free woman all the time.

What do you mean you told her she could go out?

I don't like the idea of her roaming

around the streets all by herself.

She just went for a little walk.

Now, what could possibly happen?

She's not a child, Clem.

She can take care of herself.

I don't like it. She's changed.

And it's all your fault.

It's time someone freed her.

Oh, look, Pygmalion.

Pygmalion was a man.

Don't tempt me.

Oh, don't you understand, Clem?

She's like a kid with a new television set.

She's learned a new word, freedom.

And now she's just fiddling with all the knobs.

After you're married she'll settle down

and be everything you want her to be.

After we're married?

By that time I'll be in a wheelchair.

Have you heard from the Khan

about our wedding yet?

We've been notified to expect an answer today.

And while we're at it I think there are one or two things

I'd better explain to you about the wedding ceremony.

And what happens afterwards.

Isn't anything sacred?

Everything. That's what I want to talk to you about.

Evelyn, I'll have to cancel my 3 o'clock appointment.

And tell Gregorovitch I won't need him.

Who's Gregorovitch?

He's a spy.

Oh!

Now, let's begin at the beginning.

The wedding ceremony itself lasts for three days.

And it's called the "huffi".

I don't care what it's called.

And then what happens?

Well, the ceremony consists of feasting,

dancing and incantations.

Since Tarji is a princess, the honeymoon

will last eight weeks.

It's called the "broukha".

Don't wear bow ties.

Now, during the "broukha"...

Wait a minute... what's that? What did you say?

I said during the broukha...

No, about the bow ties.

Oh, don't wear them.

You mean to say there's some kind of Bukistanian law

about bow ties?

No, it's just that you don't look very good in them,

that's all.

Now, during the broukha...

Whoa, wait a minute...

You always said you liked me in bow ties.

You always wore them what could I say?

Well, that's a fine thing.

May I explain the broukha?

Never mind the broukha.

What else?

What else what?

What else didn't you like about me?

I think it's rather pointless to reminisce about

our likes and dislikes when we were engaged.

No, I'd like to hear it.

Oh, it's nothing important, just little things.

Like your salad dressing.

Why, you loved my salad dressing.

Well, didn't you?

If every woman told the man she's going to marry

what she really thinks, this would be a nation of old maids.

I wouldn't mind if your criticism was justified.

Perhaps I should have told you about your hats.

It so happens that my salad dressing...

What about my hats?

Nothing. It happens that my salad dressing...

What about my hats?

Well, if you really want to know,

they're the most ridiculous hats I've ever seen.

They all look like crackerjack prizes.

But did I complain? No...

You used to compliment me on my hats.

Isn't that what you wanted me to do?

Not if it wasn't sincere.

We shouldn't even discuss it now.

It seems to me we ought to get back

to the broukha.

What else?

What else what?

Since my hats were so ridiculous I'm sure there were

other things you found equally ridiculous.

All right, now that you're asking,

your perfume.

It happens to be very good perfume.

What do you call it? Protocol Number 5?

How dare you?

You always used to ask me to put it on.

What was I going to do?

Ask you to take it off?

What else?

Your lipstick. I always got smeared.

If you knew how to kiss.

Now wait a minute!

The first time I kissed you

you told me it was like an earthquake.

Did I?

Oh, I see, It was like my salad dressing.

It was pleasant.

Hm... pleasant.

Let's see.

No earthquake.

Hm... forget I did it.

That won't be difficult.

Hmm... give my regards to Gregorovitch.

Mr. MacBride has asked me to give you this.

It's just arrived.

The Khan has agreed to hold the wedding next week

when we sign the oil agreement.

Thanks, Pat.

Evelyn, get out Givney's report for me

and have Ben call me on Monday.

Then get me Francis Gordon in Washington...

Earthquake! It's an...

Oh, no!

Did you feel s shaking?

No, sir. Maybe it's a vibration from the service elevator.

It gets pretty strong sometimes.

Oh...

Well...

Thank you.

Would you like some more ice?

Oh, no, don't trouble.

It's no trouble at all.

Well, I think I'll recite a little poetry tonight.

What will it be?

Anything that pleases you.

How about Keats? He's always good.

A thing of beauty is a joy forever.

Its loveliness increases...

It's not very romantic, is it?

I like it.

I learned new thing today.

That's fine! Tell Clem.

I open charges account.

I go in many stores. They are very nice.

Macy, Gimble, Sak.

One store much fun. Many games.

Games?

Yes.

You put money in and you win sandwich,

soup, coffee.

I win all time.

That's the automat.

Automat.

Yes...

Doorbell. I go.

Hiya, honey! I bet you thought

I wasn't gonna make it, didn't you?

Hello, George. Come in.

Oh, a double date. I'm mighty glad to meet you.

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