Drillbit Taylor Page #11

Drillbit taught us?

- Mind over pain!

- Okay.

All right. Hit me in the chest.

Jeez!

- Your knuckles are all bone!

- All right.

We get to call how hard

the other guy hits.

All right. Ten being the hardest,

how hard do you want it?

Five. In the back. In the back.

Oh, God!

Wonder what it feels like getting hit

in the middle of the forehead.

Jeez!

- All right, new rules!

- Okay.

I'm not gonna tell you

where I'm gonna hit you.

- No, I don't like that rule.

- No, it's good.

- No, it's not good.

- It's good. It simulates a real fight.

- Trust me.

- All right, fine.

I can't see this coming.

There's no way Wade can hurt me.

Not balls!

You hit me in the nuts!

Dear Mom, if you're reading this,

it's very possible that I'm dead.

If I don't survive, you should definitely

sue Emmit's family.

P.S. Sorry I let your silver platter

get stolen.

My raps and rhymes will become

more valuable now.

You're free to sell them

to Ghostface Killah.

Remember the plan.

Strike first and strike hard.

You go for the head. I'll go for the nuts.

It actually looks like a pretty cool party.

Oh! Hey, guys.

So, how does it feel to know

that death is just a few moments away?

- Where's Filkins?

- In the kitchen.

In case we don't make it,

- I don't want to have any regrets.

- Yeah.

Face!

I've already got the first hit

out of the way.

Let's get some.

Hey! Hey, hey. Everybody, everybody!

These kids actually came!

These are the Siamese queers

I've been telling you about!

They showed up!

They really are that dumb!

I hate when he calls me that.

So we're gonna have a good time!

Because they...

It worked.

- It's over!

- That was easy.

- We did it, we did it!

- We did.

Everybody, from ninth grade

to twelfth grade,

I promise you,

his reign of tyranny is over!

I proclaim it!

He will never bother us again!

And he's getting up!

You're dead.

And I'm in big trouble!

Catch me off guard?

You broke my stairs.

My father loved those stairs!

You blocking out the pain?

I thought I was for a second,

but I'm totally not.

You want to play?

Let's play.

Get up, get up, get up! Come on, Ryan.

You're like, super-hot.

I'm never gonna leave you.

- Ronnie! You're missing out.

- Okay.

Hey, boys!

Yo, Jay, give me some murder music.

This just gets better and better.

All right!

Hey, yo, yo. Back off.

I want to fight both these b*tches.

They're yours, Filk!

They're yours, baby! Here we go.

- You're the b*tch!

- Huh?

That's right!

What the...

- Emmit's got game!

- Oh, yeah!

- Good one, Ron!

- Come on!

Bear hug!

- Come on!

- Oh!

I have reach! I have reach!

Come on, Wade!

You're like Rocky! Get back out there!

- I can't breathe! I can't breathe!

- You're not gonna hurt me anymore?

I won't hurt you! You should let go!

I can't breathe, Ryan, can't breathe!

I'll let you go.

Not gonna hurt me anymore, are...

- I have reach!

- No! Wade!

Hey! Hey, there. Hey...

- Didn't hurt!

- Really?

Yeah.

Okay, that did.

Let that kid go.

Private Drillbit Taylor reporting for duty!

- Hoo-rah.

- You came back?

- Yeah.

- What the hell are you even doing here?

What, you need more money

from these geeks?

No. But this fight is over!

You hear me? Abierto!

Done.

It's over, people! Pack it up! Go home!

Look. You're a young man. You got...

You got a crazy look in your eye.

And it's really freaking me out right now.

Nice punch.

I try to be reasonable,

but I got to tell you,

these boys hired me as their bodyguard

and I will protect them!

Want to hear something crazy?

Deep inside you,

I know there's a good kid.

God damn it,

I'm sick of getting hit by this kid.

Come on, Drillbit. Kick his ass.

- I can't! He's a minor!

- No, he's not. He's 18.

You're 18?

That's it.

Drillbit!

How old are you?

Okay! All right, I'm 17. I'm a minor.

- My mom drives me to school.

- Come on!

I swear to God!

That was awesome.

Man, Drillbit, you're badass.

I don't think I could do that again.

It's weird. I guess it's like

when a mother

lifts an automobile off a child.

- Yeah.

- You just get that burst of strength.

That's the only way I can explain it.

Adrenaline. That's the word for it.

My hands are...

My hands are still shaking.

- Thanks for coming back.

- You kidding me? I had to do it.

I'm not gonna go AWOL on you boys.

I made that mistake one...

Crap on a sh*t sandwich!

I'm out of here, boys! Adis!

Bye, Drillbit!

Hey, fags!

This ain't over!

- He feels no pain.

- Whoa.

Was that my pinky?

- Are you okay?

- My finger!

You okay?

- I'm so sorry.

- Why did I catch a sword?

- I lost it. No, no.

- Let me see it. Let me see it.

- I lost it.

- Let me see it. Let me see it.

No, it's okay. I'm blocking the pain.

I can't block this pain.

Get some ice for me.

It's not bad. Here, help me find it

- before the ants get it.

- Where'd you last see it?

- Look in the grass.

- My dad, yo, just don't tell my dad!

Help me, guys!

Find it before a rat gets it!

See it? Look over there.

- Is that it?

- Where?

Hey, guys, I found it!

No!

We found it.

Get me some ice.

- Ice!

- Ice!

- Ice!

- Ice!

Margarita all right?

Oh, my God.

Bro!

Come on, buddy.

We got to get you to a hospital.

- All right, let's go.

- Let's go.

It's gonna be okay.

Congratulations, boys.

You just caught the great Bob Taylor.

Fantastic. No alcohol in the car, sir.

Oh, yeah.

Well, let me get the finger out.

Hoo-rah.

- Yo, dudes, that was awesome!

- Thanks, man.

Man, you have no idea how long kids

have been waiting to do that.

- Thanks.

- Dude, this is gonna be blogged,

for sure!

I am so glad

I did not go to my sister's birthday party!

Hey.

He was amazing.

You know,

Terry's just always been crazy.

You know, he's threatened me

with his sword all the time.

I'm just tired of being scared, you know?

- Hey, are you okay?

- Yeah.

When the adrenaline rush passes,

I'm gonna be in a lot more pain.

I don't want you to think I'm the kind of

guy who tries to impress girls

with violence,

but that was kind of for you.

That was very brave of you.

You know, Emmit,

I can't believe I'm saying this...

You, my friend, are one crazy

son of a b*tch, you know that?

You have no idea how scared I was.

All right. Now, let's go get

something to eat. I'm starving.

Dear Wade, Ryan and little, tiny Emmit.

Thanks for sending the Cap'n Crunch.

Suddenly, I'm very popular in here.

Hey, Bob. Give me some of that Cap'n

Crunch or I'll stab you in the shower.

Just kidding.

I was glad to read

in your last correspondence

that Filkins was shipped off

back to Hong Kong

to be with his parents for breaking

so many underage drinking laws.

Now maybe high school can be

what you want it to be

- instead of sucking rat nads.

- Oh, yeah.

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

As for me, every time I look

at where my pinky used to be,

I think of you boys

and our battles together.

It's kind of cool.

Luckily, they have

a work release program,

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