Drinking Buddies Page #7

You know...

All right?

What the f***?

God damn it!

You stupid f***er!

Why didn't you take that one?

Oh, my God!

F***ing...

No, I'm... I'm really excited

to see the space,

and I've heard your food

is awesome.

Okay, great.

I'll see you guys Wednesday.

Thank you.

[SIGHS]

That's what I do.

Impressive.

Hey, is your lady in Mexico?

Costa Rica.

Costa Rica?

Different.

Is she... uh, same-same,

sort of interchangeable.

You want to get dinner

with me?

Dinner? Tonight?

Yes.

No, in a week and a half.

Tonight, yes.

You do?

Yeah.

Definitely.

I'm starving.

I just have to make

one more phone call.

Do you...

do you want to watch?

Yes.

All right.

Weirdo.

[LAUGHS]

Sorry.

Did you already pay?

I did.

Yeah, we're good.

How much do I owe you?

You owe me nothing, Kate.

Oh, come on.

You owe me nothing.

What a gentleman.

Thanks, hubby.

Oh, I like you a lot.

So sweet. So nice.

Are you ready?

Mm-hmm.

Here you go, my friend.

Mm.

Let me give you that.

Thank you.

Give me this.

Thanks.

Give me the pretzels.

You got a hold of 'em?

Okay.

Okay.

This is you.

Oh, thanks.

Here you go, ma'am.

Hey.

Cheers to ya.

Cheers. Thanks for dinner.

Yeah.

Thanks for coming over.

Yum, yum, yum.

Mm.

You want 'em?

Mm-hmm.

It's so nice here.

So when we open up our bar...

[BELCHES]

Yeah.

Brewing in the back.

Oh, yeah.

Cuba, Miami...

both:

New Orleans.

I still vote Cuba.

I think we could do it.

You do?

We just have to sneak in

through Mexico.

What do you think

the aesthetic is again?

The aesthetic is...

Walk me through it. You walk

in 'cause I like...

Reservoir Dogs

meets Casablanca.

How many times

do I have to tell you that?

'Cause all I think about

is f***in' guys getting their

ears cut off in the back...

Word.

And dudes... no.

What a nice apartment.

I want a Jill.

Yeah, I'm glad I got her.

Can you find me one, please?

Does she have a male clone?

She's got a brother,

but he's weird as f***.

I'll take it.

[LAUGHS]

So maybe later, man

There's an elegant land

In the darkness

Right?

Do you like it?

It's good.

It's groovy.

That's how I'm described a lot

by my peers.

"He's a groovy fella. "

Good and groovy.

[LAUGHS]

That's a very important

pressure point.

What's this spot?

That's your heart.

Oh, wow.

Oh, Lord,

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

Okay.

All right, come here.

I'm gonna give you

a massage.

Oh.

Be very careful

that you don't get hurt.

Okay, ready?

I've never been more ready.

Honestly, I've never been.

Ohh!

Again with the f***ing sounds!

I'm vocal about...

You have to be more quiet.

I'm sorry, it's...

He's always

standing outside

Looking in

They smile,

but they don't look at him

They say

that it may take a while

To put more diamonds

in my smile

And maybe I won't even

go to work that day

I don't care

if I'm in trouble at all

I'll just sit on this hill

With my fingers in the still

Of the darkness

Oh.

I have to pee so bad.

Do you have food here?

No.

[DOOR CLICKS SHUT]

I'm not going far.

I just need a smaller place,

'cause my place

is meant for two,

and I am meant for one.

So I am moving

to a little place.

It's good.

It's got just enough room

for me and my imaginary cat.

Yeah,

if you want help moving,

I'd be happy to do it.

Especially if you got to be out

by tomorrow.

You don't want

to help me move.

No, I'm willing to help you.

You're you. I'll do it.

It's an awful job.

Moving is what happens in hell.

Um...

When was the party?

You were there.

It was for my birthday.

This is from

your birthday party, Kate?

Yeah.

Are you kidding me, man?

Well, I knew I was moving,

so I didn't bother, you know...

Anyway,

I feel like we should start...

First of all, I think

we should clean everything.

Oh, I don't know

if there's...

it's gonna get dirty

anyway.

The cake is still here!

I know. I ate it all.

It was, like,

the best breakfast food.

Here, I got bags.

All right, great.

[GROANS]

Kitchen's done.

Oh, my God.

Living room's done.

What?

Dining room's done.

Oh, my God!

Yeah, we are groovin'.

That's such good news.

This is a little chaotic.

Ooh, I'm so hot.

Just throwing it in

like that?

Yeah.

Yeah, 'cause I'm just gonna

take it right out.

Smart.

How about the towels?

You want to just throw those

on top?

Oh, yeah.

For protection.

I like your style, friend.

Thanks.

Can I have a sip?

Yes, ma'am.

[SLURPING]

Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Tonight

When I came home from work

Hurt

I'm pretty impressed with us.

This is so much better

than it would have been

on my own.

Do you want some water?

Oh, it's weird

to see the bottom of my sink.

How's it coming in there?

Tonight

When I came home from work

There he unforeseen

Passed the guitar

And said

"I battered my car right now

Won't you please

give me your chair?"

We had a change of the moon

We had a change

of the moon

Tonight

When I came home from work

Tonight

When I came home from work

Tonight

When I came home

from work

There he unforeseen

Changed in the lazy chair

And said,

"What's that sorrow you bear?"

And I could tell him

He understood

He gently took my arm

He listened

to my tears till dawn

I dedicate this song to you

Tonight

We had change of the moon

We had

change of the moon

Tonight

When I came home from work

Tonight

When I came home from work

Tonight, tonight

Tonight

[CLANKING]

Your breakfast is served,

lady.

Good morning.

Really?

Yes, really.

Wow.

How'd you sleep?

Good.

So here's what I think

for today.

Tell me what you think.

I'm gonna take off.

I'm gonna get the U-Haul.

I already called it in.

If you want to finish

doing this kitchen,

I'll get the U-haul.

We'll get everything.

When we're done...

which I think we can be done

by 2:
00...

we shower, we dress up,

and we go

to a nice dinner on me.

Really?

Do the whole thing.

Feel good about it.

Celebrate these couple of days.

Celebrate the move.

Get a nice bite to eat.

Okay.

Deal?

Deal.

Sealed.

Okay.

[HUMMING]

You good?

Yep.

All right, let's do it.

[GRUNTS]

You got it?

Yeah.

Ah, f***ing Christ!

F***!

What happened?

Did you drop it?

There's a nail

in the f***ing couch.

Oh.

Ah, f...

Are you bleeding?

Did it get on the upholstery?

I don't even know

how to clean this.

Ah, f***ing A.

Let's... let's just get it out

the door.

All right, just stop, Kate.

Wait.

Give me one f***ing second.

Ahh...

Ah.

F***ing cr...

Ah-ha-ha.

I just left the couch

sitting on the...

ah, f***!

Yeah, I think

I'm gonna need stitches.

Oh, God, I'm gonna be sick.

Yeah, you got any peroxide

or anything?

Oh, my God,

I'm not good with...

Kate, get me some peroxide,

please.

I'm sorry

you're not good with it.

I'm f***ing bleeding.

Just get me a f***ing

paper towel, please, then.

I have... I don't know...

Just do something!

F***!

Okay, I found them.

Okay, great.

Oh, my God.

Okay, here.

Oh, my God.

That's...

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