Drinking Buddies Page #8

Ahh.

That's really bad.

It's really, really, really bad.

Yeah, it's okay.

It's okay.

Should I call... you know,

should I call an ambulance?

Ahh.

Ah.

Ah, ha-ha.

Ha-ha-ha.

Ah, f...

Ah, f***ing piece of sh*t.

[CAR HORN BEEPING]

Hey, is this you?

Yeah, that's me.

Move your f***ing van,

buddy!

Wait, we just have to get

the couch in.

Hey, pal.

I don't care what

your f***ing girlfriend says!

Move the van, pal!

Are you kidding?

Hang on one second.

Shut up, lady!

It's f***ing hot out here.

I've been out here

for five f***ing minutes!

F*** you.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I've tried being f***ing cool!

Give me the f***ing keys then,

shithead!

Luke! Luke! Luke!

Move the f***ing van, a**hole!

Jesus Christ!

I'll move the van.

I will move it.

He's really... he's lucky.

You're lucky.

You're lucky

that no one called the cops.

You're lucky

he didn't press charges.

He's lucky I didn't continue

to kick his f***ing ass.

Oh, my God.

What is the point of that?

That's so stupid.

This is so stupid.

Can I just call...

I'm just gonna call some people,

and have them come and help me

move out of my f***ing place.

Kate, give me one... give me one

f***ing second, please.

I made room!

This futuristic device,

I wasn't familiar with.

Please be careful with it.

It's my love life.

Is it? It's all you got?

Do you think it needs a box?

No, I think...

I think it's fine.

I think if you have any luck,

it'll break.

Oh.

Oh, wow.

So manly. So strapping.

Yeah, I got everything.

Tell me more

about this beer you have.

Oh, ow, ow, ow.

Ow, ow.

Ow, ow, ow.

[SIGHS]

Oh, f***ing Christ.

How's your hand?

There used to be a cool

magic store around here.

Careful with my p*ssy.

How long have you been waiting

to say that?

The whole U-haul ride,

you've been thinking...

All day.

"Oh, when he gets

to take that out"...

Dude.

Okay.

I know I sound

like a broken record,

but just to be honest,

this place... it rules.

Right?

It's awesome.

I think it's awesome too.

I think it smells like cats

in here.

It doesn't smell like cats.

I think it... I think it

honestly smells like a zoo.

No.

I love wood paneling.

Wood paneling is amazing.

You don't see that.

"I love wood. "

Honestly, Kate,

this place smells like rhinos.

No.

It's great, like I said.

The wood paneling.

If you help me do the taps,

I'll do the taps.

Yeah, I'll help.

We just need stools

and the sign.

Yeah, we can pull

some stuff from work.

Just let me know.

Is that everything?

That's everything, yeah.

Oh, my God, you're a hero.

Thank you guys so much.

You're welcome.

I really appreciate it.

We're gonna go out,

as per the uge,

get some drinks,

so if you want to come,

just shoot me a text

or something.

Cool.

Yeah, sounds fun. Thank you.

All right,

enjoy the new place.

All right, bye.

Bye.

Is it okay?

Yeah, it just hurts.

I might have...

in one of the boxes,

there's, like, Tylenol.

I don't know where it is,

though.

It's all right.

Thanks, man.

Mm.

Well, we did it.

Yeah, thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, sorry, my elbow

was pushing against your rib.

Ugh.

I seriously want to say

that I apologize.

For what?

For my elbow

going into your rib.

Oh. Ow!

Don't.

So should we shower up?

You want to take a shower?

Yeah.

Take you out to that nice meal

I promised you.

Why don't we just go have beer

with the guys?

No. Pass.

Why not?

Because

I don't want to f***ing see...

I barely like Frank and Mike.

I don't like Dave.

We're gonna see them

tomorrow anyway.

I kind of feel like

I'm gonna have a drink

with them, though.

You should come, though.

You should totally come.

Have fun.

[LAUGHS]

No, you should come.

We'll, like, play pool.

Oh, right on, sweet.

I feel like it.

That sounds really cool, man.

Great.

Play some pool with the guys,

and then just see what happens.

Play some...

Don't do that.

Don't be shitty, please.

We'll just goof around

with the guys.

Don't do that.

And we'll pretend like

there was nothing weird

about just going

out with the guys.

Why is there something weird?

Because we had plans.

That's what humans do.

We make plans,

then we follow through.

But if you want to go out

with the guys, then...

Stop. Stop it.

Then do

whatever the f*** you want.

Stop, you're not allowed

to make me feel bad about this.

I'm kind of allowed

to do whatever I want.

No, you're really not.

You're really not allowed

to make me feel bad

about something.

I haven't done anything wrong,

Luke.

You realize that, right?

I haven't betrayed you.

There's nothing that you can say

that I've done that's wrong.

I am a single human being

hanging out with my friends.

I agree.

Okay, you may have

some other sh*t to deal with.

Don't... don't...

That has nothing to do

with me.

I don't want to have one

of these big things with you.

I'm just saying.

I know you like the...

I'm not having a big thing.

Don't... just...

you don't have to touch me.

I think maybe

you should just go.

Oh, would you please

get a hold of this moment?

Would you please

get a hold of this moment?

No, I refuse

to be made to feel bad.

I don't have to be made

to feel bad.

Good for you.

Stop it!

Stop doing

the f***ing face and voice!

That's not what I sound like,

okay?

I am not a bad person, okay?

You're my friend.

I agree.

And you're not allowed to make

me feel like a f***ing slut

for f***ing who I want,

because I'm allowed to,

because I am single.

You are not.

Don't do that.

What?

I'm just

telling the truth, so...

Don't do that.

You made your own bed,

all right?

And you f***ing slept in it.

Well, you didn't stop me.

All right, Kate.

All right.

Sorry it ended so bad tonight.

It wasn't my intent.

Have fun.

Go home...

to your girlfriend.

[MELANCHOLY MUSIC]

Strands

Strands

Of

Love

Hello?

Jill?

Hey.

Hey,

what are you doing home?

Hey. Sorry.

You okay?

Yeah.

No, I didn't mean to scare you.

Hey. Hey.

Hey, what

are you doing home early?

Oh, it just sucked.

Is everything okay?

Yeah.

No, everything's okay.

What's going on?

What happened to your face?

What...

Jesus, baby.

Careful, careful, careful.

Um...

Come here.

Hey.

What are you doing home,

Jill?

Are you okay?

Yeah, just...

How come you're crying?

The trip was just shitty.

Just...

It was?

Needed to come home,

you know?

Did anything happen,

or was it just bad?

It just...

It just sucked.

It just sucked.

Were there, like, fights,

or did something...

Careful.

Like, I ripped it with a nail.

Okay.

Oh, Jesus.

You okay, Jill?

Yeah.

When we were in Michigan,

something happened.

And I needed to come home

and tell you, um...

I went on that hike

with Chris,

and, uh, we ended up kissing.

And, um...

And I just needed to come

home and tell you that...

I needed to tell you that

and that I'm really sorry,

and I really f***ed up.

I want to be with you.

I want to...

I just couldn't not tell you.

I- I didn't want to tell you,

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