Driving Lessons Page #6

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the greatest miracle of all,

Christ's resurrection.

How much is that, dear?

...rolling, rolling, rolling.

Then, as the heavy boulder

slips to one side,

Christ steps into the light

and God the Father cries...

I've come for my boy!

Sh*t.

God as a woman.

That's so beautiful.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

Oh, thank you.

You are too kind.

Start the finale!

The finale! Go!

My friends, my friends!

The time has come

for God's son

to say farewell.

Summer's lease has

all too short a date

and the leaves on the trees,

they are a-stirring.

Yes, Lord!

Yes, Lord!

Yes, Lord!

When in disgrace with fortune

and men's eyes,

lift yourself up

and shout to the skies,

"No, no, I don't

wanna be a tree no more!

"No... "

No!

"... I'm gonna be a man. "

Good news, Lord!

Yes, sister.

Ain't it good news?

Oh, Lord, good news!

Yes, yes, yes.

No roots to dig

me in the ground!

No branches

to catch my crown!

I am the son of man,

ain't nobody holding me down!

Thanks for coming.

You stuck by me,

I'll stick by you.

Thank you, thank you.

Hallelujah! Don't touch my clothes.

Stop her.

What do you want me to do?

For Christ's sake!

Thank you, thank you.

No, no autographs. Thank you.

Ben Marshall,

come back here at once!

Time to go home.

Ben-Ben?

I'm not your Ben-Ben.

Don't be silly, my love.

And I'm not your love.

Ben, stop now, please.

No, I won't stop.

I'm gonna go on and on

until everybody knows

just what it's like

to live in your life.

Ben. "Be good, be nice. "

And all the bloody time,

you're driving round

in Dad's car having sex...

Ben!

Mr. Fincham?

Laura, darling!

Dear Ben, I do hope when you

read this letter,

your mother finds herself

on the road to recovery.

In the circumstances,

I quite understand that

you will feel it inappropriate

to work for me anymore.

Besides,

you are your own man now.

Do remember, however odd it all gets,

this is only the denouement.

The end is up to you.

To wit,

I leave you with this quote,

penned by my dear friend

William Shakespeare:

"When the sh*t hits the fan,

get a tent. "

Ben. Come, talk to me.

How are you?

The doctor said

the only reason I survived

is because I drive an economy car.

God truly is a friend to the thrifty.

Mum, please.

There's something

else I need to tell you.

Your father and I have been talking.

I've prayed to God, and I hear him.

He's telling me to get a divorce.

Ben?

Hiya.

Hi.

I'm next in the prayer chain.

Are you all right, Ben?

Fine.

We all know about your mum and Peter.

If it's God's will...

You're very angry, aren't you?

Don't be.

You're still God's gift.

Every day God gives us is a gift.

That's why we call it the present.

F*** off, Sarah.

- What did you say?

- I said 'F*** off'.

Ben?

What are you doing?

You saw your mother?

Peter's taking her to

Cornwall to convalesce.

She said I should

visit them sometime.

I think it's better this way.

How can you say that?

After all the sh*t she put you

through, how can you say that to me?

You're my dad. You're meant

to stand up for yourself.

You should've divorced her!

You should've told her

to bloody well f*** off.

I did.

It was me who

asked for the divorce.

Ben, I know this is hard for you to understand,

but when I made my vows to your

mother, I meant what I said,

and though it may seem like very

little, I have tried

to be true to my word.

You should've talked to me.

I'd have understood.

I'm a poet. I understand

the power of words.

Yes.

I think I may move

out here for a while.

Good idea.

Get a bit of space.

You know, it's a while

since I've been camping.

Dad?

I saw a skylark in Scotland.

Really? Do you know, I've never

seen one. Did it sing?

Just like you said.

Wonderful.

It was.

I do love you, Ben.

Very much.

I love you, too, Dad.

Yes. Good. Yeah, that's good.

Blast you.

Oh, for goodness' sake...

Come on!

You blunt little bastards, cut!

Ben!

I wasn't sure I was

going to see you again.

I've been a bit busy.

Good.

I can't stay. I'm on my lunch break.

I've got a job in a bookshop.

Books. Very apropos.

I'm living on my own now,

in the garden.

Excellent. And your parents?

They're my parents.

Yes.

So, any plans?

I'm thinking of going to college.

Where?

- Edinburgh.

To study...

English.

English! Good choice.

I wrote you something.

I'm still experimenting

with free verse.

Free verse.

Ah.

"Some mysteries

I will never understand

"The way the Earth

rotates around the sun

"three minutes

short of every day

"Or the way the dead are gone

"Like putting down the phone

or turning a corner

"The future

"That's another whopper

"We can never know

what we can never know

"Except that whoever you a

and whoever I am

"You made it all right to be me"

It's not Shakespeare.

No, dear, but it's lovely,

and it's you.

Bye, then.

Goodbye, Ben.

God, God don't never change

He's God, and always will be

God in the pulpit

God way down at the door

God in the amen corner

God all over the floor

God, God don't never change

He's God, and always will be

God spoke to the mountain

He said how great I am

He watched me

get up this morning

And skip around like a lamb

God, God don't never change

She's God and always will be

I'm in the middle of the ocean

On top of the old oak tree

Everywhere I look

He's always there

For me

God, God don't never change

He's God, and always will be

God, God don't never change

He's God, and always will be

God, God don't never change

He's God and always will be

And always will be

And always will be

God, God don't never change

He's God and always will be

He's God and always will be

He's God

and always will be

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