Dry Rot Page #2

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snoring I never snore do I darkness oh I

slipped we shall have no crockery lift

[Applause]

Henry if you must chop do it quietly yes

yeah bit yes we act I would appreciate

some shoelaces in my pocket it's

addressed to the proprietor really it

might have been involved daddy there's a

letter for you that came yesterday I

gave him shoelaces yes sir I would like

three rooms for a suite my secretary mr.

Danby will arrive on Tuesday to see to

the arrangements yours faithfully Alfred

top three rooms but are we going to put

them there

I wonder if you can help me ah how do

the guests usually sleep here oh not bad

no no no what I mean is where do they

sleep

you see we've got very important person

coming here next Tuesday now which room

should he have all the Masters I'm

dashed if he does I bought this house

because I like living in comfortable

surroundings Henry we happen to be

running in her - I don't care what we're

honey if anyone dares to try to tend me

out of my room because I did yes

straight out and he stays at that room

constitutes my castle and I am king of

that castle and I will not tolerate any

dirty Rascals no I will not sit down Oh

morning do I know you know the names

dandy mind Wagstaff Colonel Wagstaff how

do you do

why beg your pardon how you do oh

darling this is my wife

essentially that's my wife this is mr.

big beam no sir danby danby that's right

this is mr. dam he was arriving on

Tuesday that's right yeah but today is

Tuesday yesterday is coming next Tuesday

you are coming next Tuesday aren't you

why somebody having a birthday

no no but mr. Table isn't arriving yet

today is he oh I hope he is he's on his

way.

[Music]

Straight over the rabbit down

[Music]

[Music]

She's sweet able to take me into town

like this but they'll just have to buy

some new crop real with some eating off

the table club it's a pleasure but you

better get something this time that

bounces as long as you have that best

working for you she'd soon find

something else to break

[Music]

[Music]

You've got 10,000 bags worth of rice

sauce there no Carteret fresh IP also

that report back to me in the bullet cap

where should I hide it anywhere anywhere

itches

[Music]

Come on there Fred

let's get it started give it a crank the

elastics broken ever look under the

bonnet oh all right

no there's not much here

was it have we room for a jockey on

Friday hold on a moment now to find out

door is yes dear would you care for a

jockey on Friday what dear have we room

for a jockey on Friday oh I should think

so they're quite small don't be silly

dear do I do it but I know not not you

yes yes little bit quite alright okay

goodbye come on boy

[Music]

Brava city just the place a bit drafty

but if we keep the doors closed would be

all right

[Music]

[Music]

No answer go will ring the bell I have

it don't work I'll push the punishing

door I can't stand the old guy alright

how do you do how do you do my name is

Tom oh really

mr. Alfred tap and this is mr. Fredrick

ships armies Belize yes you're a right

case and I am expecting my secretary oh

well mr. dandy ah that's the gazer

that's the line it up has he arrived yet

well actually he's out at the moment do

come in oh thank you quite a smashing

helps you've got here well let's take

the old homes of England trainee

distinguish you been to France

no the river area I always wanted to go

to France do you speak French do you not

a word do you know fluently

well if you'll excuse me I must finish

getting your rooms ready do ring if you

want anything

oh thank you wait what do you mean

la-dee-da

what's the good of me going to all that

expense for the secretary and I might be

carve you gonna put your great big foot

in it we've got to be inconspicuous um

well I don't know what I want to be your

valid too Valley is the word Valley as

in Wales Wales Rhondda Valley Honda.

Valley I remember someone is without

don't you you fool

hello mister tub yeah is he hey at the

top of the yeah yeah yes over there huh

thank you very much happy meal China how

I was you referring to the master I

here's mr. Todd was a mr. Flesh area to

see oh thank you hello flesh how are you

nice to see you you know my valet don't

you mr. Fredrick beeps yes I thought you

would oh yes this is of course the lady

fat staff and this is mr. flesh Harold

I'll get the maid to take your cases off

mr Turner oh there's no honey anytime

will suffice

well you will excuse me Oh suddenly if

you've got to go

we have sweet lavender in a cellar in a

cellar you breathe a simmer down

listen there's an old ruin out there

it's got a cellar and it makes a lovely

stable well why didn't you tell me so

before well you didn't give me up the

maid will be down with your things in a

moment well goodbye

toodle-pip halfrek goodbye my man bye

mr. Flash sir just as how you've been

comfortable

what are you only offer cram but I hope

it'll suffice.

I'm thirsty I could do with a drink

wonder where the bar is over there it's

not open yet what didn't either

what are you talking about and the bat

it don't work doesn't work well give it

a kick Oh what have you done you hurt

yourself in a minute here good we look

short I let's have a butcher's must be

there's not yet no wonder if the owners

know about it

you keep quiet about this bread I'm

gonna use some diplomacy you watch me

not oh hi you see we have another look

here just to make sure it is that not

sure not someone having a lock with us

we mean well there might be a bloke with

his eyes miss without just knowing he

may have thought there was no one here

and open the panel just does I happen to

keep that notch then see no see yeah it

covers up bad they're gonna state that

where are you standing in an owl he may

be watching us now

how are we gonna kick that knotch

without him knowing and working it like

he did before take you by surprise we'll

sneak up on him now just that casually

like and don't let on

[Music]

How do you do how do you do how do you

do let it go how do you do I'm very well

thank you oh good may I inquire what

you're doing yes we are guests here my

name is Alfred Tahoe I'm Colonel

wangster I didn't like it

this is mr. Frederick Phipps I'm very

pleased to meet you I'm mr. Tubbs

Cardiff Rhonda Rhonda Valley High Valley

I hope you'll excuse my appearance I've

been digging in the garden I'm looking

for my wife

how long's she been dead can I have your

name please

Fred Phipps what's yours.

[Music]

[Music]

Henry what are you doing mr. Tubb I'll

show you to your room I like to go where

my guests are being placed you know that

they may be quite comfortable mind you

keep the center there's a spot of dry

rot coming up the side not you that

would work it's a charming room I'm sure

you like it it has Wedgwood and.

Chippendale it it's all the big quite a

crowd of you chipping down refers to the

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