Duck Duck Goose Page #2

Nope. Never saw him again.

Crazy varmint had no sense of direction.

That's a good one, Larry.

Peng. Whoa! Whee! I'm not a frog.

Sorry, Larry. You okay?

I'm all right. Feel fine!

Cleared my sinuses.

"Wind up with yourself."

Like I'm gonna take advice

from a talking rock.

Just to recap, flock, this is not a drill.

The chances of fatality at this point

are exceptionally slim,

only one in five of us are likely to die.

Excellent form recruits! Just like a V!

Keep form! Keep the V!

All right flock, keep it loose!

Fly like a goose!

- I'm kidding. Keep the V.

- Sorry, I'm late, Dad.

JJ, honey, I was really worried

about you for a second there.

Sorry, Dad. I really tried

to talk some sense into Peng.

Sense? Into Peng?

It'd be easier to train a frog to fly.

No offense, Chauncey.

It's okay, little brother.

I think it's gone.

Surprise!

Look out! Run!

Ducklings,

party of two, your table's ready.

Sorry to disturb you. We're going now.

No, we're not!

Our dinner's in there somewhere.

You're kidding right? Get lost!

If I could fly,

I'd be having goose tonight!

Look out, Peng!

Oh! If it's goose you want.

- Where...

- On your left!

- Where are you?

- Other left, genius.

This isn't a fair fight!

Whoops!

I didn't hear a splash.

Hmm. There it is.

No! The water's everywhere!

I hate water!

Oh, I'll get you back for this,

if it's the last thing I do!

Uh, must've been a catfish.

Wow!

I'm so not a cat person.

Ugh. Is that worm breath?

What the... What... What? What...

Ah, ducks? Ugh, what the...

- Hey.

- Ow!

Ew! Ugh! Beat it, weirdos.

I must be shell-shocked.

Are those your kids?

Yeah, sure, Larry. I'm their mom.

You're our mom?

- What? No! Ahh!

- I knew it!

- Oh, Mommy! I love you so much!

- Let go! No! No, no, no!

- I always wanted a mom just like you!

- Chao, stop. Please, no!

Well, well, well...

Could you please just get back here?

- Peng, I had no idea you were expecting.

- What?

Congratulations, Mother Goose!

Look at me! Do I look like a mommy?

I'm sorry, he hasn't imprinted yet,

so he thinks that anyone with feathers

could be our mom.

Imprinted? He's imprinting on my leg!

Do you understand that that's disgusting?

Gross. Ew. This is... Ugh. I'm out of here.

- Please wait!

- What?

Look, I'm Chi,

- and this is my little brother Chao...

- Yeah?

And we got separated from our flock

and we really...

I'm not his mommy

and I'm not your baby-sitter.

- Baby? I am not a baby.

- Mommy!

For your information,

I am sixteen days old.

Oh, sorry!

I didn't know you were so ancient.

Ow. Seriously, stop that! My butt...

- Stop. Hey, quit it. Ow! Stop. Hey!

- Chao, stop it, okay?

Please just get off of him.

Just wait.

You crashed into our flock,

and that is child endangerment,

which makes you responsible.

What? That's... Ow!

The only thing in danger around here

is me getting plucked alive.

Look, can you help us or not?

I would say I'm an "or not."

Absolutely not.

I want nothing to do with you

and the baby piranha.

I got a flight to catch.

You are a dirty pile of jerk feathers.

"Jerk feathers?" That's an insult?

Wha... What the...

Would you just get off me, you looney!

Oh, no!

What a day.

Well, at least I know

it can't get any worse.

What?

Ah!

Oh, all right. Okay, don't panic, Peng.

Okay, it might not be that bad.

Okay, Peng. Here we go. Come on.

I'm doing it. I'm doing it.

You're not doing it!

Oh, no.

Oh, great.

Now, isn't this interesting.

Frazier, it seems the new mother

is unable to fly.

Yes, indeed, Giles.

I do believe she's a lame duck.

Uh... Goose actually.

What a terrible thing it is

to be injured in the wild.

Oh, yes, it's deadly I understand.

Yes, a lone goose could be reduced

to foie gras in mere moments.

Oh! That would be quite a show.

Yes. Yes, dinner and a show.

Wait, what? Uh, uh, guys, look...

Ow!

I know I may have been

a little rough at times but...

- We know what you're up to, Peng.

- Yes, we do. What is he up to?

You simply want us around

so that you're not a sitting duck.

- Goose.

- Goose! Goose!

Look, all I'm saying is

that the three of us,

if we were to walk to the haven together,

that would be all right, right?

Walk? On these spindly legs?

Have you gone absolutely mad, sir?

Not only is it dangerous

to travel on foot,

but quite frankly, we would look silly.

Guys, come on, you know what's gonna

happen to me. Winters coming and...

Yes, and you'll be a dead duck.

- Goose, actually!

- Goose! Goose!

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking,

"If only I had a companion,

some trusty friend to walk with me."

Am I right?

- Uh, thanks, but I...

- Hey, I know turtles don't migrate,

but my mom said I'd never go anywhere

unless I stuck my neck out.

Andal amigo!

Okay, okay.

Think, think, think, Peng. Think!

Wait a minute.

What I need is something that can

throw the bad guys off my scent.

An insurance policy. That's...

Oh! Oh, oh!

I don't need to be faster than a predator.

I need to be faster than a companion.

Or companions! My good buddies!

Champ? Chope? Hello? Chang and Chomp!

Where are those stupid ducks?

Oh, hey! There you guys are.

We totally got off on the wrong foot.

I forgive you.

Come on. Let's go.

We don't talk to strangers.

What? Strangers?

But, no, but it's me!

Me? Who's me?

It's me, Peng, the good-looking goose!

Mmm, nope! We don't know

anyone by that name.

Yeah. Looks like we haven't

been introduced.

Look. I'm the one you were calling...

Mommy.

Mommy!

- All right! Okay! Great.

- Something doesn't smell right.

Maybe that's your brother.

Oh, what... No!

Who treats their mother this way?

Why are you helping us all of a sudden?

Why?

Because I'm doing it

from the bottom of my heart, okay?

Okay, fine, fine. If you don't

want my help, you know, just off you go.

See if I care. You know,

if you want to be eaten by monsters.

Chomp, chomp, says the monster.

Chi! He's doing it

from the heart of his bottom.

That's right!

That's just the kind of goose I am.

I've always gone around helping people.

Trying to do the right thing.

You know, maybe help

a couple of ducklings that are lost

and they just want to

find their way back to their flock

and maybe put a little piece of

the burden of the world on my shoulders.

Ooh! Mom. Can I ride on your shoulders?

Not a chance. Get off me.

Ugh. Whew. Let's go.

Come on, let's pick up the pace!

Wait! Okay, would you wait up?

Just because you're helping us,

does not make you the boss of us.

What? Yes, it... Yes, it does.

And since I'm the boss,

you're gonna have to go by my rules.

Well, I'm just spit-balling here.

Uh, whatever I say, goes.

Goes where?

Okay, I... You know what, rule number two:

No questions about rule number one.

Okay, Mom.

All right, rule number three:

Don't call me mommy, mom, mama,

mama-mia, mother...

Anything that starts with "M." You got it?

- Got it, jerk feathers. Any more rules?

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