Duck Duck Goose Page #3

- Yes!

We walk fast.

There's no whining or complaining.

Eyes are front all the time.

And most of all, never ever wander off.

- Ugh, you are so stupid.

- No, you're stupid.

- Stupid infinity.

- You're stupider.

- Stupid sounding. Stupid, stupid.

- Well, you know what?

You're stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid,

multiplied by stupid.

- Okay, that was stupid.

- Well, at least I'm not a duck.

- What is that supposed to mean?

- You know what it... Where's Chao?

- He wandered off.

- Are you kidding?

Oh, I'm making some really good time here!

What's that?

What the...

Oh!

Ah! It's a monster!

Hey, didn't you just die?

Yuck, that's disgusting!

I'm a cat, you idiot.

I have nine lives.

Well, now you got eight.

Now then, down to business,

where did the goose go?

Peng's my friend.

I'll take that information to the grave!

- Okay.

- Wha... Oh!

Uh, Peng hurt his wing,

so he has to walk to the haven.

He can't fly?

The goose can't fly?

He's a dead duck.

Goose, actually.

Why, this means...

Stir the plum sauce, boys.

We're having Peking Goose tonight.

Remember this meeting. I'm sure I will.

I've got turtle recall.

"Turtle recall." That was a good one.

Why, thank you.

- Don't mention it. Never mind.

- Mention what?

Oh, this isn't good.

I have to warn Peng right away.

Time to kick it into overdrive.

What a show-off!

Jeez! You know,

you didn't have to tie him up.

Listen, I have to catch up with my...

I mean, uh, we have to catch up

with your flock.

And the little funny face

wandering off all the time

is slowing me... I mean us down.

See? Treat him with respect,

he behaves with... What?

In case you have poor vision,

his face is funny...

Come on! Let's go.

Okay, new plan.

New plan?

I didn't know we had an old plan.

What?

We'll cut across country

and join the road further down.

But we'll be going the wrong way.

We may be going the wrong way,

but we'll be headed

in the right direction.

What are you even saying?

That makes no sense.

Look, I'm a migrating goose.

I have excellent instincts.

So, from here on out,

we're gonna travel as the crow flies.

But we can't fly!

No, no, no. I mean as the crow flies.

It's a way of saying...

Look, it's just a saying, okay?

Hey, Mr. Shortcuts.

What is it now?

What could possibly be wrong now?

Yeah. Rice paddies.

Okay, flocks, remember to fly

straight and steady.

Fly into the cloud and not around it.

If you should get hit by lightning,

the correct procedure is to fall

out of the sky while gently smoking.

Hey, honey, you look like you've got

something on your mind? What's going on?

Sorry, Dad, I'm just worried about Peng.

Ah, JJ, how can I reassure you?

Don't feel bad that you couldn't

persuade him to come.

He'll hunker down and we'll see him

next spring. For sure.

Yes. Yes. Good.

You know what, you're right.

Of course, he'll be long dead by then.

- What? Dead?

- Mummified skeleton probably, uh...

but we'll see him is the point.

What?

If the foxes don't get to his bones first.

Did you just say foxes? What?

He'll be fine.

He knows what he's doing.

You have no idea

what you're doing, do you?

Come on.

All right, where's your sense of fun?

It'll be a hop, skip,

and a jump.

Fun! Yeah, right!

Wait! What are you doing? What are you...

No! Put me down. Put me down, right now!

Okay, as you wish.

No, no, no!

Wait? You're not coming?

No way,

that thing looks dangerous.

Ahh!

Oh, no! Oh, no!

- Watch out!

- Whoo!

I don't want to die!

Come on, you guys, not the eyes!

I want to see where I'm going!

I don't want to see!

I don't want to...

Whew. That wasn't that bad.

That was so much fun!

Fun? Hey, I know, let's do it again.

You just don't get it, do you?

- Get what?

- Fun.

Fun? I'm fun. Okay?

I invented fun, all right?

My middle name is fun.

Before you two came along,

I was Mr. Fun. I'm fun!

You're gonna lecture me on fun?

Two ducklings, sixteen days old?

What kind of ridiculous... Ow!

Now that was fun.

I'm so tired. Are we there yet?

It's raining.

You're ducks, you live in water.

Never mind.

Come on!

Whoa!

That was close. Huh?

What? Where... Look, guys, I'm tired.

My feet feel like lead and...

What are you doing down there?

Oh, for Pete's sake,

it's just a little thun...

Barn! Yep, I see a barn.

There's a barn. Barn ahead.

Just gotta...

Oh, hi, uh,

would it be okay if I...

I mean, these two orphan ducks

stayed in your barn for tonight,

couple hours? Thanks.

Absolutely not!

This is for chickens, not waterfowl and...

Stanley, what's happening? Who's there?

Uh, nothing dear.

Just dealing with it.

Just dealing with what?

Oh! You look exhausted!

Do come in, little sweet peas.

- Oh, Edna will take care of you.

- But my darling.

- I really do think...

- Zip it, Stanley.

I lay the eggs around here.

Uh, um, hi. Yeah, um...

Well, you know, I'm...

I'm with them.

I'm their legal guardian so I have to...

Stanley!

Who am I kidding?

I'm completely chicken-whipped.

Why not just roll me in bread crumbs

and serve me for dinner?

Now, you should be comfortable.

I put down fresh straw.

Good night, my dears. Sleep tight.

Don't let the bed bugs bite.

Goodnight, little ones!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Go find your own bed.

Over there somewhere.

Ah! Piders! I hate piders.

Now you've done it!

They're delicious. Now go to sleep.

I'm... I'm scared.

Why don't you tell him a story?

That usually works.

I... Stories? Why would I...

You tell him one.

For goodness' sake, man!

Just tell him something

- so we can all get some sleep!

- Stanley, stop fussing!

Will you go to sleep if I do this?

Okay, one story coming up.

Um, once upon a time there were, um,

there were these...

Ducklings. Uh, two...

Yeah, two little guys!

Ooh, ooh, ooh! Are we the ducklings?

I am not a guy.

That... That's not the...

It doesn't matter. One boy, one girl

duckling were, um, they were lost.

In the... In the fog.

They were lost in the thick murky fog,

and it was so dense they couldn't see

an inch in front of their faces.

We're never gonna

find our way out of this.

We'll have to cross the river.

But that's not safe either, is it?

Well, it's better than this. Come on.

But, but...

But why do they need to cross the river?

To get to the other side? No.

You know because, um, because...

Because if they don't, we'll never...

Never get to sleep. I know. Um...

I have a good mind

to show them all who's...

- Stanley!

- Ah, yes, darling.

So, they started out okay.

But I don't... I don't want to, Chi.

I'm afraid.

Come on. It'll be okay.

But they must have been halfway

across when there was a noise ahead.

A swishing, swirling noise,

like nothing they'd ever heard before.

Gah-loop. Gah-loop. Gah-loop.

I don't like it. Let's go back.

Yeah.

Chi and Chao turned around,

but the mist is even thicker.

There's no going back and they know it.

Then, the sound again. Gah-loop!

The swishing, gah-loop,

on the still, black water

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