Duck Soup Page #13

CUT TO Vera's bedroom. It is a CLOSE SHOT showing

Vera in bed, shot from side of bed. She is under the bed-

covers desperately trying to keep them from being pulled

off her.... TRUCK back disclosing Harpo on the other end of

the bedcovers, trying to pull them off her... for a moment

following, a tug of war goes on, Harpo pulling the covers

about a foot his way and Vera pulling them back... The

sound of Chico's second whistle coming over scene attracts

Harpo, who lets go of the covers and runs out of the room.

We pick him up outside of the room on balcony. Without

hesitation he slides down the bannisters to join Chico who

is waiting at foot of stairs.

Chico

(Exasperated)

Hey, you never get the safe open that way.

(Looking up at Vera's room)

We gotta try the combination... You gotta the combination?

Harpo nods and takes from under his coat a woman's

silk combination... winks and looks back in the direction of

Vera's room.... Chico snatches it out of his hand and

throws it away.

During above Mrs. Teasdale has come out on balcony,

sees the boys but can't distinguish them in the room which

is practically in darkness except for a few splotches of

moonlight. She runs back into her room... CUT TO Mrs.

Teasdale's room... she is at telephone dialing a number...

Mrs. Teasdale

(After a slight nervous pause)

Hello? Your Excellency? There are burglars in the house...

I want you to come right over.

CUT TO Groucho's bedroom. He is at the other end

of the phone in bed.

Groucho

(Into phone)

You come over here. There are no burglars in my house.

CUT BACK to Mrs. Teasdale at phone.

Mrs. Teasdale

(Into phone)

But Your Excellency, you must -- I tell you there are

burglars here.... oh, thank you.... Please hurry....

CUT TO Chico and Harpo in living room below at safe.

Harpo has just finished putting a stick of dynamite in the

door of safe....

Chico

Light it.... Now we blow him up....

Harpo strikes a match, but Chico stops him from

lighting it.

Chico

Wait a minute.... we gotta fix it so it don't make-a so

much noise.... What-a we do?

Harpo takes out a large wad of cotton, tears it,

hands two pieces to Chico.... they both stuff their ears

with large pieces.

Chico

That's fine... Now, nobody hear the noise.

Harpo lights fuse... each stands on either side of

safe door waiting for the explosion... after a slight

pause, there is a terrific blast of sound... and the

screen is masked with smoke. The smoke clears away and

the safe door falls to the floor. Groucho walks out of

the safe putting the plans of war in his inside pocket...

After a few steps he stops and addresses the boys...

Groucho

That woman is crazy.... there are no burglars around here...

FADE OUT:

END OF SEQUENCE "G"

SEQUENCE "H"

FADE IN - to insert of newspaper which comes from background

to CAMERA. A screaming headline reads:

WAR DECLARED!!

This insert goes past the CAMERA as another newspaper comes

from the background. The headline reads: -

"ENEMY APPROACHING CAPITOL"

DISSOLVE to Groucho's office. Groucho is standing in front

of his desk reading a newspaper, which is spread over his desk.

The headline is the same as in the second insert -

"ENEMY APPROACHING CAPITOL"

Harpo is standing at the other side of the desk.

Groucho

(Pounding his desk)

They're coming.....

(He recites the following command to Harpo)

RIDE THROUGH EVERY VILLAGE AND TOWN

WAKE EVERY CITIZEN UP HILL AND DOWN

TELL THEM THE ENEMY COMES FROM AFAR

WITH A HEY-NONNY-NONNY AND A HA-CHA-CHAR

CAMERA TRUCKS back disclosing a real horse beside Harpo.

Groucho

There'll be two lamps in the steeple if they're coming by

land and one lamp if they're coming by sea.

He and Harpo go to the window and look out.

CUT TO SHOT of a steeple with three lighted lamps -

CUT BACK to Groucho and Harpo

Groucho

They double-crossed me.... they're coming by land and sea --

Be off, my lad!

With a grand gesture, Groucho exits out of scene.

Harpo grips pommel of the saddle with both hands and in his

attempt to make a flying mount, vaults clear over the horse

landing on the other side. He lets down a rope ladder from

under the saddle, climbs the ladder, mounts the horse and

starts off.

DISSOLVE to CLOSE UP of Harpo riding at breakneck

speed. As he looks grimly ahead he reaches down out of scene

and brings up a three-cornered colonial hat and puts it on

his head.

DISSOLVE to a Moving Insert - Harpo bringing the

horse to a stop in front of a farm house. He blows a blast

on a regular army bugle... immediately a few old men rush

out of the house in their nightgowns, carrying guns, and

into the scene from all directions rush other men, answering

the call, similarly attired. Harpo starts his horse and

we DISSOLVE to him pulling up to another farm house.

This house has a single door on the extreme end of it

and a very large French window covering almost the rest of

the house. Harpo stops and sounds the bugle call. This time

there is no answer to his call. He waits a second, then

turns his horse in the direction of the house and rides

through the single door. After a short pause, the doors of

the French window fly open and the horse runs out pulling a

double bed which is on wheels. Harpo is standing at the

foot of the bed, braced against the bedpost, holding the

reins. There is an old couple, man and woman, fast asleep

in the bed - (This couple might be the blase gentleman and

young wife used by Peter Arno in his cartoons.) After riding

a few feet Harpo leaps from the bed onto the horse's back

and rides off leaving the bed and its occupants on the road.

DISSOLVE to Harpo pulling up to another farm house.

He stops, sounds his bugle. A very pretty young girl, in

her night clothes pokes her head out of the second story

window. Harpo takes a good look at her, leaps off his horse

and dashes into the house. A moment later he comes out of

the house with a feed bag and puts it on the horse's head....

then he dashes back into the house again. Almost instantly

he comes tearing out of the house, followed by an old geezer

in his nightgown, who is chasing him, with rifle in hand...

He fires a few shots -

DISSOLVE:

END OF SEQUENCE "H"

[SEQUENCE "J"]

DISSOLVE through the shooting of previous scene to STOCK SHOT

of artillery fire on battle field - a profile SHOT with all

the activity of an actual battle, but without an indication

of falling men. DISSOLVE from this to interior of Groucho's

headquarters behind the front - a wooden shack. The sound of

a distant booming of guns is heard over this scene. On the

wall is a large war map with colored thumb tacks indicating

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