Dude
- TV-MA
- Year:
- 2018
- 97 min
- 1,737 Views
La-da-da-da-da
It's the motherfucking D-I double-G
Rah, Rah, Rah Digga, y'all
La-da-da-da-da
You're rocking with the L-Y-R-I-C
Yeah, yeah, yeah
East Coast to West Coast
In this motherf***er
What, what, what, what
Yo' roll that weed up
Slice it up
Ha, what's up Jones?
Help Jones headphone
Better turn that sh*t up
You gotta dig your own hole
About to divvy it up
Ski mask, weight toy
Now we hooking back up
And when they bang this in the club
You got to get up
Straight who jaboo
How we living it up
Murder was the case on Snoop
They ain't locking him up
Taking chances while we rapping
In the party for sure
Slipping with my ball forward
No ID for the dough
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I'm like Sisyphus
I'm bound to push rock
Other MCs are such jokes
I call them Knocks Knocks
Your mom wears Crocs
While she's sucking cock
I float so hard
You're gonna need a smock
Yeah, horses wear shoe
But do horses wear socks?
Call me f***ing Freddy
'cause I got it on lock
I smoke weed
I don't f*** with a rock
My flow's so regular
Like a motherfucking clock
Hold up, wait
All these niggaz thinkin we soft
We don't play
We gon' rock it
Til the wheels fall off
Hold up, wait
- Ready?
- Yeah.
Take a seat
Hope you're ready...
Where the dick at?
Smoke weed everyday
First prom with my dudes.
It's hot. I need something to drink.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Making you thirsty?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Having fun?
- Yeah, I'm having fun.
- The fields, field of dreams.
- Yup.
And that's home base.
- Did I get that right?
- No, that's the pitcher's...
- That's the pitcher's mound.
- You don't have an idea.
There is home base.
- And that's where you stand?
- Yeah, yeah.
Where all your dreams came true.
Yeah.
Are you sad about graduating?
Not really. Are you?
Chloe and I are gonna come visit you...
obviously.
I'm just glad I have another year here.
I can't imagine leaving this place.
I think if you do it right,
Sorry, I just heard that
and threw up in my own mouth.
I hope you're right.
Hey! Come on. Limo's here.
Let's get some double-doubles.
Okay. Be right there.
Oh, my God,
I got so wasted last night.
So, wait, what happened?
The bouncer wouldn't let you in
with your In-N-Out.
Which was obviously unacceptable.
Right. So, that's when we hoisted
you over the wall of the patio.
And then,
you fall into the cactus.
Oh, dude. They're everywhere.
It's like I was giving blowies
in the desert all night.
Oh, f***. I have work tomorrow.
Yeah, I have a practice exam
in the morning.
All right.
- Bye, ladies.
- Bye.
- I love you.
- Bye.
Bye.
Okay. To the homestead?
Thomas wants us to come
to Top of the World.
- Cool.
- Okay, okay, okay.
Would you rather
lose all the hair on your body
or be a prostitute for a week?
- Prostitute for a week.
- Easily.
You didn't even hear the parameters.
No hair whatsoever,
no eyebrows, no lashes.
Oh, please. Come on.
I pay good money to have hot wax
rip most of that sh*t
out of my body anyway.
Yeah, for real.
But seriously, feel how smooth.
Is it good?
It might be cool
to be all slithery like a dolphin.
I don't think I'd do well as a prostitute.
I'd definitely end up a truck-stop boy.
I'd be an escort, but I'd only take jobs
from Johns who, like,
- wanted to be dominated and stuff.
- Yeah.
You guys have always sucked at this.
Whatever. Your go-to used to be
fart out of your mouth or sweat piss?
Still a valid question.
You lack imagination.
Can't believe school's in your hands now.
It's all downhill.
Every year says that.
And this b*tch will be president
and these things will be extra special.
All right. Come on.
I'm tired as balls. Let's get out of here.
Thomas, I told mom
we'd be home soon.
- Oh, definitely.
- Okay.
We got to hit all the usual spots
before you go.
Okay. Bye, Thomas.
See you at home.
Don't be too long. Mom's gonna be pissed.
Love you.
Love you, girls.
Today we mark a moment
we will never understand,
that life stops.
A son, a brother,
I've tried to take comfort in the fact
that we are now
the stewards of his story...
...of his joy,
of his life.
We must hold on to that and to each other.
Oh, my God. Chloe,
we're so sorry. He meant so much to us.
No. Not right now. No.
What other way is there to heal
the pain than to think of him and cry,
and laugh, and be together?
Mint?
I'm gonna chug it.
Oh! My eyes.
Oh sh*t. You guys, we're late for yoga.
Namast-gay.
Oh. I got to meet with Student Council
Noah about prom.
You, you have your college meeting, yeah?
Oh, yeah. I should roll.
- Love you.
- Love you, bye.
Okay. So it's all finished?
- Pretty much.
- Okay. Great.
Are you sure you want to shut down
a full road for a red carpet?
Yes. Big gestures are very important.
Okay. So, what I'm thinking...
Hey, Lil.
Top of the afternoon, Guy.
Aren't you supposed to be
Aren't you supposed to be
- This never happened.
- What never happened?
Here you go.
Okay. I'm super excited.
I'm gonna plaster these around.
are a very captive audience.
Ooh. Yeah. I like the way you move.
- Yeah. Bye.
- Bye.
- Hey.
- Hey.
How'd it go?
Uh, waitlist. Should find out this week.
Sometimes I just wanna punch her
in her third eye.
I guess if I don't get in,
Santa Barbara wouldn't be that bad.
No. Hm-mmm.
You're going to NYU
and I'm going to Columbia.
We're gonna be life partners forever.
God, imagine how many times
we've walked these halls and thought
three months, two months, two weeks.
How the f*** did we get here?
"Time has a terrible way of fleeting by."
My mom wrote that to me
in a letter when I was eight.
Okay. I got to dump out.
I can't believe
you like shitting at school.
I'm very comfortable here.
So...
- Yo! What's up?
- Hey.
Just the girl I was looking for.
- Oh, Sam.
- Jared.
Jared. Hey guys, what's up?
So, we got a create-a-party tomorrow
at Carrie's and I need to spread the word.
- Hold on.
- Uh-oh.
I know what this is.
Hi, guys.
Hi. So, it was a really good day
at Path Less Taken, wasn't it?
Yeah, this guy knows
what I'm talking about. Cool.
Okay. So we only have
two weeks left, right?
- We need to cherish...
- And so, at prom, you two going together?
Well, yeah. Mein Fuhrer 's orders.
Yeah, she used to pencil in our playdates.
Prom, May 18th, it's gonna be
the best night of your life.
- But it's a shame though.
- I promise you.
- Buy tickets, please.
- I look fine in a tux.
Please, please.
Also, party at Carrie's tomorrow night.
Yes, thank you.
- Bye.
- Here you go.
Hey.
- Yo.
- Yo.
- Pretty good, huh?
- Mmm, that was nice.
- Bemis alarm. 3:00.
- Oh. Ooh,
Bemis.
Bite my penis.
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"Dude" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/dude_7328>.
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