Dudley Do-Right Page #6

These initials could

only mean one thing:

Dudley do-right.

You think do-right

has got the guts

for something like this?

Of course I do.

Wow.

You realize what

this means, don't you?

He's becoming the bad guy.

Where does that leave me?

I used to be the bad guy.

If he's capable

of doing this,

who knows what other

really fun, bad-guy stuff

he's been doing.

What other stuff, indeed,

David duchovny.

For snidely was

about to discover

a crime so low, so hideous,

it had to involve

toilet paper.

Man.

What a bleak

and rimy day.

Something like this

just makes you sick

to your stomach.

Don't touch me!

Where are you going?

Well, my work

is done here now,

Dudley.

So it's--

it's time for me

to rejoin my family.

You have a family?

Yeah, well, it's--

it's a long story.

But,

basically, I was--

I was lost like you.

I wasn't

a hero to anyone,

not even myself.

No one ever really

believed in me.

But I feel

you're my friend now,

and you believe in me.

And-- and that

gives me the strength

to rejoin my loved ones,

if I can find them.

I'm a new man, Dudley,

thanks to you.

What about

the chain saw?

Parting gift.

Family tradition.

Don't ask.

Thank you.

Use it in peace,

not war.

You can count on me.

My son.

My master.

That's lovely, whip.

The play of light,

the chiaroscuro shading--

Shut up, homer.

You got it, whip.

What was that?

Do-right!

Well, snidely. Posing as

an artist to gain young

Nell's favor?

Stop the music!

He's quite talented,

Dudley.

It's paint-by-numbers.

And I can't tell you how

hard it is to keep the paint

inside those teeny lines.

Wait a minute.

You're wearing black.

That's my color.

I'm the bad guy.

But you're

not wearing black, snidely.

That's dark blue.

It is not.

It is so. It's Navy.

See for yourself.

Ooh! Homer!

Yes, whip?

What am I doing

wearing blue?

Well, whip, the black one's

at the cleaners,

and I just wanna say

you look good in blue,

you really do.

"I just wanna say."

"I just wanna say."

Nell, you'll

always think of me as

wearing black, won't you?

I don't know,

snidely.

I don't think this portrait

really captures Nell's

preternatural beauty.

Yes.

Like you could do

better, mountie-boy?

Is that a challenge?

Absolutely.

Get your motor runnin'

head out on the highway

lookin' for adventure

in whatever comes our way

born to be wild

Dudley.

It's lovely.

- Shall we, Nell?

-

You look really good

in green, whip.

He's a cunning adversary,

homer,

but not cunning enough

to outwit snidely k. Whiplash.

You are

my role model, whip.

So Dudley wants

to be the bad guy.

We'll see

if the shoe fits.

What shoe, whip?

For Pete's sake.

We've all done our best

to make whiplash city...

A place of peace

and prosperity.

A place where

we could all make

lots and lots of money...

Without doing

anything at all--

that's how life should be.

But there's a man

trying to ruin all that.

- This is the man.

- Hey, that's Dudley!

- He's the good guy!

- This man is dangerous and evil.

He's not evil!

You're wrong, whiplash!

We must find him at once.

Gold miners

of whiplash city unite.

- Dudley do-right must be found and done away with.

- - No!

- He must be killed,

you hear me?

- No! No!

No! No! No! No!

Yes, the tide

had turn against snidely.

The townspeople had

grown tired of whiplash city.

They wanted their town back

just the way it used to be.

So while snidely was

growing weaker by the minute,

Dudley was growing stronger.

Yo, Mr. do-right.

Five minutes.

Thank you.

Bravo!

Though Nell

had witnessed many examples

of our hero's derring-do,

it took a dance number

to convince her that Dudley...

Dudley?

Was studly.

Dudley!

When I'm calling you

ooh-ooh-ooh

when I'm calling you

ooh-ooh-ooh

Dudley?

Will you answer too

ooh-ooh-ooh

- Dudley.

- Nell.

I love you now,

and I always have.

You really do, Nell?

Meanwhile, back at snidely's

secret hideout and day spa--

We have to find out

where that sniveling do-right

is hiding.

I've got

the men out combing

the countryside, whip.

Do you?

I'll get it.

Here.

Yeah, give it to me.

Hello.

What?

We found him.

This calls

for a celebration.

Waiter!

Two mudslingers, please.

Snidely

and his henchmen immediately

launched an all-out assault...

On the kumquat nation.

It's whiplash.

They just want me, chief.

I'll go quietly.

This isn't your fight.

I'm backing you 110%,

and I mean that...

So far.

- You got weapons?

- Weapons?

Come on. This is

basically a dinner theater

we're runnin' here.

- You got fireworks?

- That we got.

Fire!

They're just fireworks,

you sissies! Be men!

That's the last

of the fireworks.

Now what?

We'll take to the forest

and throw rocks at them.

Rocks?

What else can we do?

- The press here?

- Yes, sir. They're up there

on the perimeter, sir.

Let's do it.

General whiplash,

the village is ours.

Torch it, Shane.

Burn everything.

Yes, sir.

No. Wait a minute.

That's bad publicity.

Have the photographers

take pictures of the boys

straightening up the place.

You got it.

Learn from history

or repeat it.

Come on, chief.

I gotta stop.

You can make it.

You're a young man.

Don't let this

face-lift fool you.

I'm 62.

On second thought.

Okay, hold it.

Hold it right there.

Hold your fire.

Hold your fire.

Hold your fire!

- Somebody hit me with a rock.

- It was one of them

Indian dancers.

Right. That's it.

Now I'm heated.

Not since their all-male

revival of little women...

Had the kumquats faced

such a hostile reception.

But the kumquats never

walked away from a fight.

They preferred to run.

Know what we need,

chief?

Two weeks in Maui.

No. Bigger rocks.

That's not fair!

They've got rocks!

All we've got are

these machine guns.

Mother of pearl,

here comes another one.

Let 'em have another one.

The next size down

is this one.

We're outta

the big stuff.

We're screwed.

No, we're not. Look.

It's my horse, horse.

Just like

in my dream.

Wait a minute.

We're saved because that

flea-bitten nag showed up?

- He's trying to tell us

to follow him.

I think he's just got

a fly up his nose.

Come on, everybody!

We've got them

on the run now.

They'll never make it

across the valley floor.

Homer! Time to bring up

the heavy equipment.

Yes, sir!

Move out!

Move, move,

move, move!

I'm sorry.

I gotta stop.

Come on, chief.

No. That's it.

I'm finished.

I thought native

north Americans

could run all day.

Yeah, like we're

really Indians.

We're not leaving without you.

- You guys go without me. Go!

- You stood by me.

I'm gonna stand by you.

Dudley.

I'm making you

an honorary kumquat.

- That means a great deal

to me, chief.

- Forget about it.

He's a dead

honorary kumquat.

Roger.

Tango-delta-foxtrot.

Shall we dance?

You gotta admit.

He comes prepared.

I think it's time

to surrender.

Yeah, it looks like it.

- He's got another bug

up his nose.

- No.

He's telling me

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