Dudley Do-Right Page #5
all the gold runs out?
Why, it's never gonna
run out.
- It's not?
- No, no, no, no.
Whiplash is too smart.
Snidely was smart enough
to keep the gold coming in...
So the profits would
keep coming in;
smart enough to own his own
helicopter; Smart enough
to have won over...
Every government authority
within 2,000 Miles.
But was he smart enough
And the only man to be
thrown out of the mounties
in a hundred years?
We'll have to see about that.
I don't see anything.
Aha!
See? That's where
they melt down the gold...
So they can salt it at night.
Whiplash.
Would you look how popular
snidely is? That's not right.
People always
suck up to the guy in charge.
You know that. It's like life.
I say we go down there
and arrest them all.
I don't think so.
Why not?
I'll give you
three good reasons.
I'd like to start
with the second one first,
if that's okay with you.
We go down there,
they'll kill us.
You're not
a mountie anymore,
They're not doing
anything illegal.
But we've gotta do
something!
No!
You gotta do something.
I just wanted to show you
what was going on.
What's my next move?
Well, you could,
steal the gold...
Before they can salt it,
and that way--
end of gold rush.
What? Me, steal?
Me, break the law?
Sadly, yeah.
But then I'd be
Dudley "do-wrong."
Do-wrong's nice.
I like that.
It's kind of French.
You know,
"Dudley do-wrong."
I'm so confused.
It's not
that complicated, Dudley.
The bad guy, snidely whiplash,
is apparently doing good,
ergo, putting you,
the good guy, in the position
of having to be the bad guy.
Well, not exactly the bad guy.
Let's say the "badder" guy.
But just as a bad guy doing
good does not necessarily make
him the good guy,
so a good guy doing bad
does not, ipso facto,
make him a bad guy.
This can't be happening.
He can't be the good guy.
But he is. The good citizens
of whiplash city are throwing
a ball in his honor tonight.
For snidely?
He likes bread and butter
he likes toast and jam
that's what his baby
feeds him
he's her lovin' man
I don't believe it.
They love him!
He is the good guy!
Yeah,
not to mention the fact
that he's got Nell.
No. Maybe it's just
someone who looks like her.
Nah, that's Nell.
Did you ever have
to make up your mind
it is Nell!
I can't believe that this
is happening to me!
Sorry.
It's okay.
I better go do something
about this.
No, wait!
You're not ready.
You're not trained.
Sometimes it's one
with big blue eyes
cute as a bunny
with hair down to here
and plenty of money
and just when you think
she's that one in the world
your heart gets stolen
by some mousy little girl
then you know you better
make up your mind
and pick up on one
it's not often easy
and not often kind
did you ever have
to make up your mind
whoo!
Whoo!
Whoo!
Sometimes you really
dig a girl
the moment you kiss her
then you get distracted
by her older sister
when in walks her father
and takes you in line
you better go home, son
and make up your mind
then you bet
you better finally decide
to say yes to one
and let the other one ride
there's so many changes
and tears you must hide
did you ever have
to finally decide
Well done!
This is gonna take
a lot of work.
And who better to do that work
than Kim darling himself,
a grown man
with an extensive
pokemon collection?
My son,
the hero defeats danger...
Because he is
dangerous himself.
You... are... dangerous.
Know it. Say it.
You are dangerous.
No. Say,
"I am dangerous."
- I did.
- No, say,
"I am dangerous."
- You are dangerous.
- No, no, no, no.
You say,
"I am dangerous."
But you said--
Never mind.
The hero must face
three trials:
Trust, daring, instinct.
For the sake of consistency,
Daring!
Okay, now.
I am your adversary.
I am evil.
Evil! Evil!
You're evil.
Yes. And now I'm going
to draw this line in the sand.
Now, do not dare
cross that line,
otherwise evil will
rain down upon you-- evil!
No, no. Look, Dudley,
take me up on my challenge by
showing me how daring you are.
Let's try it once again,
shall we?
I am evil!
Now, do not dare
cross that line!
I am evil! Evil!
Well, what? You said I'm
not supposed to cross
the line!
But you're supposed
to cross the line!
Let's try it again.
Okay, now. Do not dare
cross the line of death.
I am evil!
I am evil!
What'd you do that for?
'Cause I'm evil.
I can't help it.
Sorry.
Eight, nine, ten--
Trust.
The hero trusts.
Now, I will throw
some stones at you--
Missing intentionally,
of course--
And you will not flinch
as they whiz past your head
because you trust me.
I trust you, master.
Good!
Sorry.
But that was very good.
You trusted me.
Okay?
- - Perfect!
You didn't flinch at all.
Just one more, okay?
Excellent! Absolutely!
Trust is your middle name.
A lot less moaning
would be good.
Instinct.
You will fight me
without benefit of eyesight.
You will block
my every blow...
Because you can see without
your eyes, you can hear
without your ears,
you can speak
without your tongue.
Yes, master.
I said without your tongue.
Now, your sword is your stick.
The stick is your defense.
Prepare to defeat me.
Are you ready? Ha!
Very good, indeed--
the hopping-foot defense.
Very good!
The other-foot-hopping
defense.
Wonderful! You're at one with
the universe. And now,
concentrate.
Prepare to receive
my final assault.
- Wonderful.
The playing-dead defense.
- Master--
Good choice
under the circumstances.
You'll be all right, my son,
providing they don't
attack you with sticks.
With his master's lesson
ringing in his ears,
Dudley set off
in search of justice...
You are ready, my son.
And extra-strength Tylenol.
You are ready because
you've taken everything
I can throw at you...
And still you stand
tall and true.
You are ready
to face danger
because you are danger.
Now, get out there and
do something dangerous.
No! Please don't!
Then tell me
when the next gold
delivery arrives.
I don't know.
Well, then I'm afraid
we're gonna find out
which is your better side.
You're a mountie.
Not anymore.
Thursday. The gold's
coming at noon on Thursday.
Noon Thursday. Thank you.
- Now if I can just figure out
how to stop this thing.
- What?
Whoa! That's not it.
Owee!
Just papier-mache.
Completely recyclable
material.
- What kind of man are you
anyway, do-right?
- A dangerous one.
He's got the gold!
After him, boys!
He may have been outnumbered,
like the back of his horse.
Whoa!
Yee-ha!
Do you have any idea what
this could possibly mean?
Doris day.
Just a guess.
Dom deluise.
Daniel day-Lewis.
Snoop doggy dogg.
Daphne du maurier.
Shut up.
- Doc duvalier.
- David duchovny?
- Delores del Rio.
- Shut up, you idiots.
- Dan rather.
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Submitted on August 05, 2018
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"Dudley Do-Right" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/dudley_do-right_7331>.
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