Due West: Our Sex Journey Page #8

No calls inside the cell.

Take it.

Ain't mine anyway. F***er.

A customer got drunk, it was nothing.

I was just kidding, don't worry.

Just kidding? What the f***!

Look at you, your face is covered in sweat.

This is not f***ing funny at all!

Were you scared?

No, I was just worried

about all the exercise.

I should stretch first...

Let's lie on the bed.

The gap between us can't be more than

15 centimeters.

I couldn't look her in the eye.

She puts her hand on my chest

and though it doesn't move,

my face is all flush and my heart pounds.

To break the silence,

I decided to summon up

all my will and say...

What' your name?

My name is Celia.

Is that short for Cecilia like in the song.

"Celia, you're breaking my heart."

It's just Celia.

Oh.

I think you're special.

Special? What kind of special?

Like, especially ugly?

Not ugly,

just special.

Let me give you a blowj*b first!

What she said totally threw me off!

We met barely 10 minutes ago,

hardly exchanged a word,

and she's offering me that!

Damn, it's amazing enough

to hear it from a beautiful girl,

what else could possibly be in store?

But let's wash up before I blow you, okay?

You fill this out while I go get ready.

I know every word on this form,

but none of it makes any sense.

Star Wars, Little Bee, 10-Finger Piano,

Round the World, Flying Trapeze?

Dragon Drill and Pop-Rock Pearls?

Though I'm staring at it, completely lost,

I don't want to give her

the impression that

I'm the sort of guy who

lacks confidence and

can't make any decisions.

So I figure... I'll tick them all!

You can come in now.

Okay.

It's big.

What's big?

It's just big.

I know "big" is a relative adjective,

so I am not sure if she means

I'm bigger than most customers,

or just bigger than a toothpick.

Let's start with waterbed service.

First comes "Dragon on Earth".

Next is "Star Wars".

Turn over.

Then the "10-Finger Piano"

and "Round the World".

I'd never messed

with vibrators before.

This will be my first time.

It ought to be worth remembering.

This must be the "Earth-Shaker".

"Raising the Moon", then?

It's called "Up-Root"!

Just relax.

I had never thought my rear

would be tamed like this.

But to be honest,

I kind of like it!

Next, the "Dragon Drill".

Oh, I almost forgot to ask...

do you want Pop-Rocks?

What?

You take bubble tea pearls

and stick them inside.

I've heard guys say that it's really nice.

Want to try?

What? No!

Don't worry, it'll be fine!

I'll be fine without.

I'm surprised you're not offering to stick

real pearls in while you're at it.

My ass had its first intruder

not two minutes ago.

Since she's pretty, I can tolerate

such a limited inspection,

but that does not mean

dumping random trash in there is cool!

It's not that

I would have her written up,

but one should give as much as one gets:

My sharp tongue would

be evening this score.

What number bath is this for you today?

The fifth.

For just a moment, I felt sorry for her.

Is bathing so many times a day

with strange men considered clean or dirty?

I can't decide.

No people in this world outside

of prostitutes and

Doraemon's friend Shizuka

would bathe so much.

Do you have any plans?

Maybe save enough to start a business?

I still don't know, yet.

Oh, I know. You want to

gain more experience

by working here first, then get

an escort job at the karaoke next door

where you can learn some more.

I actually used to work at that karaoke.

I was forced to drink every single day,

and propositioned every single night.

I never had a decent night's rest

until finally I met one customer

who treated me well and

would always request me,

so I decided to get serious with him,

but he soon found a new girl

and dumped me...

lam such a useless nobody...

Please don't cry. Save your tears

for times of joy.

I came here

for a good time,

so how did it turn into a crying session?

Time is ticking away and

she's not doing anything.

F***! Could she be an Arsenal fan,

trying the corner kick tactic

to burn the clock?!

But then it turns out

I've got her all wrong...

Thank you, I'm done crying.

Let's continue.

Who came up with this.

Fire and Ice technique?

I have my suspicions,

but in any case, it's so natural

that it must have to do with yin and yang.

I firmly believe that this

and bareback blowj*bs

are the greatest Chinese inventions

since rice and noodles.

Let's go back to the bed, okay?

I'll get things ready.

Frankly, if you said go to hell,

I'd start digging.

What are you doing?

Doing the "Flying Trapeze" for you.

"Flying Trapeze"?

It's an upside-down blowj*b.

That's quite all right.

Why don't you come back down.

But you ticked it,

so if I don't do it, they'll penalize me.

Don't worry. I'm the one asking you not to.

Don't do anything else.

You don't want anything?

Really? Nothing at all?

Can you make me feel good?

Yes.

Let me try being on top.

I've never met a girl who asked

to swap positions.

To me, it's as rare as

a girl who's never late.

Do you know where my hometown is?

That's not the point.

Then what's your point?

The point is, everyone there

learns horseback from an early age.

Can I go faster?

It feels so good. Can you go longer?

Celia is, without a doubt,

an experienced jockette,

Who knows how many times

she's walked the winner's circles?

I bed she's ridden more men than

Douglas Whyte rides horses!

Her desire is so flattering.

I have never met an employee

so willing to work OT.

And I will help her the whole way.

Sex is funny:

The less you concentrate,

the better you can last.

So I decided to look around and

distract myself

with other things.

I work hard to pay for

your studies in England.

How can you even face me?

What's wrong?

Am I going too hard? Does it hurt?

Err... No...

No problem. I can blow him back up.

Let me get a wet tissue...

Wet tissue?!

You know how many germs

are out there these days.

Once disinfected, it is such a relief!

We are a democracy, let's vote on whether

Frankie should solicit hookers or not.

I said not to treat me like a hooker,

but you didn't have to go find a real one!

I don't want anything to do with a john!

I hate you!

That's not right.

Men are born willing to pay for it.

It's like eating out of hunger.

Isn't there enough food at home?

You bastard! Acting so righteous and

preaching about not surfing

the web for hookers.

You're no different than "The Hypocritic"!

Please stop calling me by my screen name.

Son, I am the one who set a bad example!

I am a liar and the true hypocrite!

But that doesn't mean I have no integrity.

Like father, like son

I always had my doubts. As if you're

really such a selfless volunteer.

Do you and Auntie usually disinfect?

Stand straight! Stop whoring!

Go back and write 1000 times

"I'm not allowed to get hookers again"!

Hand it in tomorrow!

A complaint was filed against your whoring.

Did you throw this condom out the window?

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