Dumb & Dumber
- Year:
- 1994
- 7,803 Views
Excuse me.
Could you tell me how to get
to the medical school?
I'm supposed to be doing a lecture
in about 20 minutes,
and my driver's
a bit lost.
You go straight ahead,
and, uh, you make a left
over the bridge.
That's a lovely accent
you have.
- New Jersey?
- Austria.
Austria! Ha ha!
Well, then...
G'day, mate.
Let's put another
shrimp on the barbie.
Let's not.
Oh.
# Boom shack-a-lak-a,
what the people want #
# Women them a flex
and the men them a chant #
# 'Ca' the '60s style,
it have fe come back #
# Draw fe bell-bottom,
block heel and frock #
# Boom shak-a-lak,
rude boy #
# Here when we tell
them now, sir #
# Wine your body,
wriggle your belly #
# Dip and go down-ee
in the new stylee #
# Wine and go up,
wine and go down #
# Bubble and a rocka
# You fe line it up,
you fe wine it up #
# Do the Boom shak-a-lak
till the dance hall fill up #
# I say the Boom shack-a-lak
# Wicked say it wicked,
jah jah, no say it wild #
# Ragamuffin style
fe the discipline child #
# Dip and go downa
'ca'it well versatile #
# You fe move fe your waist,
move fe your back #
# Wine and go down,
do the shack-a-lak-a-lak #
# Get in a groove
'ca'you are the top notch #
# Bubble and a wine gal
right 'pon the spot. #
Now, who's got
the wiener schnitzel?
Beautiful.
There you go, Dolf.
There you go, buddy.
Yeah.
Let's see.
Next, we got
roast beef au jus.
Who's got
the roast beef au jus?
Stella, beautiful.
Bon appetit, Stella.
Oui oui, yeah.
Walk away.
Go on. Go on.
Last but not least...
foot-long!
Who's got the foot-long?
There you...
very funny, rascal.
Very funny.
In your dreams.
Man:
Harry, why haven't youdropped those dogs off at the show yet?
Uh, sir, I didn't
want to send them
to a performance
on an empty stomach, sir.
- Get a move on it!
- Yes, sir.
Mutt cutts.
Whew.
Suck me sideways.
Hello.
How are you?
Uh-uh-uh... uh...
uh-uh-uh...
I'll be out
in one minute.
Ow.
Why are you going
to the airport?
Flying somewhere?
How'd you guess?
I saw your luggage.
Then when I noticed
the airline ticket,
I put two and two
together.
So where're you headed?
Aspen.
Mmm... California.
Beautiful.
Name's Christmas,
Lloyd Christmas.
I'm Mary Swanson.
This isn't my real job,
you know.
- No?
are saving up our money
to open our own pet store.
That's nice.
- I got worms.
- I beg your pardon?
That's what we're going to call it...
I Got Worms.
We're going to specialize
in selling worm farms,
you know,
like ant farms.
What's the matter?
A little tense
about the flight?
Something like that.
There's really nothing
to worry about, Mary.
Statistically,
they say you're more likely
to get killed
on the way to the airport,
you know, like in a head-on crash
or flying off a cliff
or getting trapped
under a gas truck...
That's the worst.
I have this cousin...
well, I had this cousin.
Lloyd, could you keep
your eyes on the road, please?
Oh. Yeah.
Good thinking.
Can't be too careful.
A lot of bad drivers
out there.
Hey, watch it!
Okay, gang,
you know the rules...
no humping, no pushing,
no sniffing heinies.
Where have you been? My dogs were
supposed to be here 40 minutes ago!
Now I hardly have any time
to primp them.
Mrs. Neugy-burger.
- Neugeboren!
- Neug-neug-neug...
- Boren!
- Boren.
need any primping.
You know why?
I'll tell you why.
Because I bathed them
and I clipped them myself.
And I stand by
my performance.
You know,
on second thought,
you might just want to run
a comb through 'em.
Male voice:
The white zone is for the immediate
loading and unloading
of passengers only.
No parking.
Thanks.
Here you go.
Oh no, Mary.
I couldn't possibly
accept that,
not after all
we've been through.
Thank you, Lloyd.
- Uh, good luck with your worms.
- Yeah.
Hey.
How about a hug?
The white zone
is for the immediate
loading and unloading
of passengers only.
No parking.
Oh.
I hate goodbyes.
Oh.
Uh, Lloyd...
Shh!
Just go.
Be strong.
Woman over PA:
Mr. Dan Mitchell,
please pick up
Mr. Dan Mitchell, please pick up
She's gonna leave the briefcase
near the escalator.
- You make the pickup.
- Piece of cake.
# Goodbye, my lo... #
ugh!
Hi!
Passenger Maura Tadge,
please pick up
You have a message.
Passenger Maura Tadge.
Agh! Mary!
Man:
There's our payday.
She left it.
Let's go.
Lloyd:
Excuse me!Coming through!
Move it or lose it,
sister!
Hey!
Eenie...
meenie... minie...
mo!
Hold that plane!
Sir, you can't
go in there!
It's okay!
I'm a limo driver!
Agh!
Whew...
Hi, Lloyd.
Hi, Harry.
- How was your day?
- Not bad.
Fell off
the jetway again.
Who the hell you figure
this guy's
working for, anyway?
I don't know.
We sure as hell
better find out.
The ulcer?
I'll live.
- So you got fired again, huh?
- Oh, yeah.
They always freak out when you leave
the scene of an accident, you know?
Yeah, well,
I lost my job too.
Man! You are
one pathetic loser.
No offense.
No. None taken.
Ha ha ha!
You know what really
chaffs my ass, though?
I spent my life's savings
turning my van
into a dog.
Hi, Petey!
The alarm alone
cost me 200.
Hey!
Chicks love it.
It's a shaggin' wagon.
What's with
the briefcase?
It's a love memento.
The most beautiful
woman alive,
I drove her
to the airport.
Sparks flew,
emotions ran high.
She actually
talked to me, man.
Get outta here.
Oh, yeah yeah.
Tractor beam...
Sucked me right in.
Anyway...
She left this
in the terminal
and flew to Aspen
and out of my life.
What's in it?
Man... I would
have to be a lowlife
to go rootin' around in somebody else's
private property.
- Is it locked?
- Yeah, really well.
Harry:
There's two of them.One of them's got a gun.
Did you pay
the gas bill?
Hey...
Do you realize what you've done?
I'm sorry.
I say we bail.
Okay.
Briefcase ain't here.
They must have
taken it with them.
Well, he's got to
come home sometime.
Maybe we should
trash the place,
send him
a little message.
I don't think he's going to get
that message, Joe.
I mean, the guy's got worms
in his living room.
Well.
Oh, I got
a better idea.
"I tought I taw
a puddy cat.
I did. I did. "
I can't believe
and there's not
a single job in this town.
There is nothing,
nada, zip!
Yeah, unless you want
to work 40 hours a week.
Pfft!
Here. I'm going to
go to the store.
Okay, just get
the bare essentials.
This is the last
of our dough.
Hey. What do I
look like?
# Take a little walk
to the edge of town #
# Like a bird of doom #
# As it shifts
and cracks #
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