Duplex

So, you're

finally settling down.

You've saved up

a little nest egg

and are ready to dive into

the real estate market.

Let's do a little

shopping around.

The American dream home.

Two bedrooms, two bathrooms,

one doghouse, one garage,

two garbage cans.

It's cozy, safe,

and just barely within

your overstretched budget.

Not for you?

For the same price,

you can buy 200, 000 acres

of prime Sahara wasteland.

Put up a cottage.

Nothing but you and the sky.

It's like a beach

without the ocean.

And talk about quiet neighbors.

Too remote?

Oh, I understand.

You need the thrill

and excitement of the big city.

With that same nest egg,

you can get a slice

of prime real estate.

Not this real estate.

Cozy and affordable,

this lovely fixer-upper

is the perfect place

for a dynamic couple like you.

No need to putter around

the house.

It's all right there

where you stand.

What's the matter?

Feeling a little cramped?

Well, just a stone's

throw away,

just one bridge

or a tunnel ride,

just outside the big,

bustling city,

there is a place

with wide- open spaces,

friendly natives,

and spacious dwellings.

And it's all within

your price range.

It's almost

too good to be true.

When I told you

I had a particular building

in mind for you,

this is the one

I was talking about.

It's a historical home

on one of the best blocks

in all of Brooklyn.

- Remember what we talked about.

- I know. Poker face.

Built-ins, built-ins.

Oh, the kitchen's

a little small.

Well, rip out this

awful room divider,

and you've got

an eat-in kitchen.

And over here

you have your library.

Wow.

For your books.

Oh, you like books?

I have a little collection

of first-edition novels.

Alex is a writer.

The parlor.

Oh, my God.

So, this staircase.

This leads to where?

I thought you realized.

This is a duplex.

As in two floors

for the price of one?

I believe it's right there

in the listing sheet.

So, why was it sealed off?

Were there, like, a slew of

murders up there or something?

No, there's just a sweet, little

old lady that lives upstairs.

A tenant?

Mm-hmm.

So, rent control means

we can't kick her out, right?

Alex!

That's a legitimate question.

You cannot evict her.

She has to decide to leave

or, God forbid...

Poor thing hasn't been

feeling well lately.

She's gotta be close

to 100 years old.

Mrs. Connelly?

It may take her a while.

She's hard of hearing.

Mrs. Connelly?

Kenneth.

There's my favorite girl.

How you feeling today,

Mrs. Connelly?

I don't feel too good, Kenneth.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that,

Mrs. Connelly.

I brought by a young couple that

may want to buy the apartment.

- Hi.

- Hi, Mrs. Connelly.

I'm Nancy Kendricks.

This is my husband, Alex Rose.

Hello.

We were wondering

if we could look around.

I don't feel up to it.

I'm sorry, dear.

Nice seeing you again, Kenneth.

You have a Mommy-and-Me

park over here.

You got shopping that way.

No traffic.

It is ideal.

Here's my card

if you want to make an offer.

There's a lot of heat

on this place.

I'd say it'll be

off the market by Monday.

Adios.

Three fireplaces?

Guys, the place sounds

incredible.

And surprisingly affordable.

It's kind of affordable.

It's really at the high end

of our price range.

But when you factor in

that it's a duplex.

It's a duplex?

Yes.

Oh.

You know, it's Brooklyn,

first of all.

We weren't even thinking

about Brooklyn, so...

Oh, actually, which reminds me.

Did you bring it?

Oh, yeah.

Is this the latest in

the Don Piper mystery series?

Fresh off the presses.

I inscribed this copy

to you guys.

- Oh!

Coop, thank you.

I am sure it's not

gonna be as brilliant

as your new book, but a couple

decent metaphors in there.

Turn of phrase.

We forgot to tell them

the big news.

Oh, God.

Yes.

What is it?

Go ahead.

We're pregnant.

Wow!

Congratulations.

Congratulations, man.

I'm so happy for you!

You guys must have

just found out.

No. Unh-unh.

I'm four months along. Yeah.

- Four months?

- Mm-hmm.

- Oop!

- Oh, honey.

Stop.

Hello!

I mean, we're not

gonna want to live here

once we start having babies.

And that upstairs would make

the cutest playroom.

Well, I don't want Mrs. Connelly

coughing on my baby.

You know what I mean.

Besides, do you realize how much

the duplex is gonna be worth

once we get both floors?

I know how much it costs.

It's gonna be worth

a bazillion times that.

Really? A bazillion?

That's an incredible return.

Come on, Alex, what better way

to finish your novel

than in your own 19th-century

oak writer's nook?

It would be nice

not to write at Starbucks

with the other novelists.

Because you deserve

your own nook.

That's my train.

All right.

Let's do it.

Really?

- Yeah.

- Aah!

Oh, this is so wonderful.

We're gonna have a home.

Yeah. All right.

I love you.

I love you!

I could have sworn

we had more stuff.

It's gonna look great.

Mrs. Connelly, it's

Nancy Kendricks and Alex Rose,

from downstairs.

Let me look at you.

Oh!

Hi.

We just wanted to come up

and say hi.

Oh, what a nice surprise.

Come in.

Come in.

Thank you.

Wow.

What an amazing apartment!

Oh, thank you, dear.

Sit down.

We brought you this

little housewarming gift.

That's very kind of you.

Thank you.

I'll open it for you.

I don't drink, myself.

It's a sin.

Irish Catholics don't drink?

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm just taking a few

little pictures for research.

If I knew you

were coming, I'd have tidied up.

Hey, Nancy.

Yeah?

Blow me down!

- Oh!

- What did you say?

- Are you all right?

- Yeah. Oh, God!

I'm coming, slowly but surely.

- I'll just turn off this music.

- Alex! Alex!

Sit down, dears.

Sit down.

I've brought you a little

something to nibble on as well.

Oh, Bugles.

Wow.

I didn't realize

they even still made Bugles.

Here you go.

That's a magnificent parrot.

It's not a parrot, dear.

He's a macaw.

He's named after

my late husband, Richard.

I've had Little Dick

for 40 years.

Come along, dear.

Don't be shy.

It's French onion.

Oh.

Mrs. Connelly,

how are you feeling?

Why do you ask, dear?

Well, because the last time

we saw you, you were quite ill.

Oh, I had a bit of a cold,

but I'm in fine fettle now.

Tell me about yourselves.

What do you do, Alan?

Alex.

Alex is a writer.

Oh, a writer.

Hmm.

I always thought of that as

more of a hobby than a real job.

I suppose I'm forgetting

about Joyce.

Joyce. James Joyce.

Of course.

Wonderful writer.

He died drunk and penniless.

Well, Alex's first novel

was published in hardback,

and he's about

to finish his second one.

Oh, what's it about?

Well, I like to call it

an urban epic.

It's about three generations

of this family

that own a printing press,

and I tell a story.

That's nice.

Let me give you a refill.

Big Dick had the taste, too.

He was a seaman.

The drink took him

from me in 1963.

We'd been married for 58 years.

'63.

So, when are you two

planning on having children?

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