Duplex
So, you're
finally settling down.
You've saved up
a little nest egg
and are ready to dive into
the real estate market.
Let's do a little
shopping around.
Two bedrooms, two bathrooms,
one doghouse, one garage,
two garbage cans.
It's cozy, safe,
and just barely within
your overstretched budget.
Not for you?
For the same price,
you can buy 200, 000 acres
Put up a cottage.
Nothing but you and the sky.
It's like a beach
without the ocean.
And talk about quiet neighbors.
Too remote?
Oh, I understand.
You need the thrill
and excitement of the big city.
With that same nest egg,
you can get a slice
of prime real estate.
Not this real estate.
Cozy and affordable,
this lovely fixer-upper
is the perfect place
for a dynamic couple like you.
No need to putter around
the house.
It's all right there
where you stand.
What's the matter?
Feeling a little cramped?
Well, just a stone's
throw away,
just one bridge
or a tunnel ride,
just outside the big,
bustling city,
there is a place
with wide- open spaces,
friendly natives,
and spacious dwellings.
And it's all within
your price range.
It's almost
too good to be true.
When I told you
I had a particular building
in mind for you,
this is the one
I was talking about.
It's a historical home
on one of the best blocks
in all of Brooklyn.
- Remember what we talked about.
- I know. Poker face.
Built-ins, built-ins.
Oh, the kitchen's
a little small.
Well, rip out this
awful room divider,
and you've got
an eat-in kitchen.
And over here
you have your library.
Wow.
For your books.
Oh, you like books?
I have a little collection
of first-edition novels.
Alex is a writer.
The parlor.
Oh, my God.
So, this staircase.
This leads to where?
I thought you realized.
This is a duplex.
As in two floors
for the price of one?
in the listing sheet.
So, why was it sealed off?
Were there, like, a slew of
murders up there or something?
No, there's just a sweet, little
old lady that lives upstairs.
A tenant?
Mm-hmm.
So, rent control means
we can't kick her out, right?
Alex!
That's a legitimate question.
She has to decide to leave
or, God forbid...
Poor thing hasn't been
feeling well lately.
She's gotta be close
to 100 years old.
Mrs. Connelly?
It may take her a while.
She's hard of hearing.
Mrs. Connelly?
Kenneth.
There's my favorite girl.
How you feeling today,
Mrs. Connelly?
I don't feel too good, Kenneth.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that,
Mrs. Connelly.
I brought by a young couple that
may want to buy the apartment.
- Hi.
- Hi, Mrs. Connelly.
I'm Nancy Kendricks.
This is my husband, Alex Rose.
Hello.
We were wondering
if we could look around.
I don't feel up to it.
I'm sorry, dear.
Nice seeing you again, Kenneth.
You have a Mommy-and-Me
park over here.
You got shopping that way.
No traffic.
It is ideal.
Here's my card
if you want to make an offer.
There's a lot of heat
on this place.
I'd say it'll be
off the market by Monday.
Adios.
Three fireplaces?
Guys, the place sounds
incredible.
And surprisingly affordable.
It's kind of affordable.
It's really at the high end
of our price range.
But when you factor in
that it's a duplex.
It's a duplex?
Yes.
Oh.
You know, it's Brooklyn,
first of all.
We weren't even thinking
about Brooklyn, so...
Oh, actually, which reminds me.
Did you bring it?
Oh, yeah.
Is this the latest in
Fresh off the presses.
I inscribed this copy
to you guys.
- Oh!
Coop, thank you.
I am sure it's not
gonna be as brilliant
as your new book, but a couple
decent metaphors in there.
Turn of phrase.
We forgot to tell them
the big news.
Oh, God.
Yes.
What is it?
Go ahead.
We're pregnant.
Wow!
Congratulations.
Congratulations, man.
I'm so happy for you!
You guys must have
just found out.
No. Unh-unh.
I'm four months along. Yeah.
- Four months?
- Mm-hmm.
- Oop!
- Oh, honey.
Stop.
Hello!
I mean, we're not
gonna want to live here
the cutest playroom.
Well, I don't want Mrs. Connelly
coughing on my baby.
You know what I mean.
Besides, do you realize how much
once we get both floors?
I know how much it costs.
It's gonna be worth
Really? A bazillion?
That's an incredible return.
Come on, Alex, what better way
to finish your novel
than in your own 19th-century
oak writer's nook?
It would be nice
not to write at Starbucks
with the other novelists.
Because you deserve
your own nook.
That's my train.
All right.
Let's do it.
Really?
- Yeah.
- Aah!
Oh, this is so wonderful.
We're gonna have a home.
Yeah. All right.
I love you.
I love you!
I could have sworn
we had more stuff.
It's gonna look great.
Mrs. Connelly, it's
Nancy Kendricks and Alex Rose,
from downstairs.
Let me look at you.
Oh!
Hi.
We just wanted to come up
and say hi.
Oh, what a nice surprise.
Come in.
Come in.
Thank you.
Wow.
What an amazing apartment!
Oh, thank you, dear.
Sit down.
We brought you this
little housewarming gift.
That's very kind of you.
Thank you.
I'll open it for you.
I don't drink, myself.
It's a sin.
Irish Catholics don't drink?
What are you doing?
Oh, I'm just taking a few
little pictures for research.
If I knew you
were coming, I'd have tidied up.
Hey, Nancy.
Yeah?
Blow me down!
- Oh!
- What did you say?
- Are you all right?
- Yeah. Oh, God!
I'm coming, slowly but surely.
- I'll just turn off this music.
- Alex! Alex!
Sit down, dears.
Sit down.
I've brought you a little
something to nibble on as well.
Oh, Bugles.
Wow.
I didn't realize
they even still made Bugles.
Here you go.
That's a magnificent parrot.
It's not a parrot, dear.
He's a macaw.
He's named after
my late husband, Richard.
I've had Little Dick
for 40 years.
Come along, dear.
Don't be shy.
It's French onion.
Oh.
Mrs. Connelly,
how are you feeling?
Why do you ask, dear?
Well, because the last time
we saw you, you were quite ill.
Oh, I had a bit of a cold,
but I'm in fine fettle now.
Tell me about yourselves.
What do you do, Alan?
Alex.
Alex is a writer.
Oh, a writer.
Hmm.
more of a hobby than a real job.
I suppose I'm forgetting
about Joyce.
Joyce. James Joyce.
Of course.
Wonderful writer.
He died drunk and penniless.
Well, Alex's first novel
was published in hardback,
and he's about
Oh, what's it about?
Well, I like to call it
an urban epic.
of this family
that own a printing press,
and I tell a story.
That's nice.
Let me give you a refill.
Big Dick had the taste, too.
He was a seaman.
The drink took him
from me in 1963.
We'd been married for 58 years.
'63.
So, when are you two
planning on having children?
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"Duplex" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/duplex_7361>.
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