Duplex Page #2

Soon.

Yeah, not for a couple of years.

You sound just like

Mr. Connelly.

We never had any children.

It's too late for me now.

Oh, look at the time.

I had no idea it was so late.

Oh.

The time's rolled on.

We haven't had a chance

to see the apartment.

Oh, dear, I'm afraid

there's no time now.

Really?

We must say good night.

Oh, okay.

Oh.

Uh-oh.

Oh, no. That was your...

I think it's your couch.

- I think the chair...

- Alex.

That was a little...

Come along, dears.

Come along.

How could you?

"A macaw. Any long-tailed,

brightly colored parrot."

A macaw is a parrot.

I knew it.

Don't you think that

as landlords,

we have some legal right

to see the back of her apartment

if we want to?

I mean, I'll look it up

on the Internet.

That's what I'll do.

I wonder how old she is.

Oh, my guess is that she's

somewhere between 95 and 105.

- She looked pretty good tonight.

- Yeah, she did.

She looked kind of healthy.

Yeah.

That's nice.

Yeah.

Hi.

Hello, Mr. Peabody.

I saw myself in the mirror,

and I thought it was

my mother's tush.

Mrs. Connelly?

Mrs. Connelly?

Oh, yes?

Who is it?

Hi, it's Alex.

I was wondering if you

could turn down your TV,

'cause we can hear it.

Oh, I fell asleep.

I'm sorry.

- That's okay.

- I'll do that.

Okay.

Thank you.

No, Starvin' Marvin,

that's my potpie.

Cartman, you butt-pipe.

This is the time of year

to share.

Oh, yeah, you're right.

Are you going to eat

your peach cobbler?

No, you don't want all that.

Why don't you share it with me?

Everybody's

asking me about fiber.

In the next few minutes,

you're going to learn about

an amazing...

If I want a slimmer waist.

Use it on carpets. OxiClean

seeks out organic stains.

There's no more bald jokes.

I gotta go. Have a good day.

See you later.

And finish that chapter!

I will.

- Good morning, Alex.

- Good morning, Mrs. Connelly.

I wanted to give you this back.

I won't drink it,

and I thought you might want it.

Oh, thank you.

That's nice of you.

All right, if there's anything

I can do for you, let me know.

There is one thing.

Yeah, I'm sorry,

I don't hear anything.

It was very distinctive.

The pipes went

bang- bang-bangity-bang-bang.

Bang! Bang!

Well, they're not

doing that anymore,

or it stopped,

so, I'll tell you what, though.

If you hear it again,

come get me. I'll take a listen.

Oh, all right then.

It's a deal.

Ooh, Alan, dear boy, I wonder...

- Alex.

- Pardon?

Alex.

My name's Alex.

I know.

No, I think you said "Alan."

Oh, no, I don't think so.

I don't forget names.

Could you give me a hand

with the garbage?

We don't want to be

feeding the mice.

What in heaven's name

are you doing with me drawers?

Now, I would move

the pull quote just a teeny bit

so that you'll have room

to squeeze in the text.

You're such

a good squeezer, Nancy.

That's because, until yesterday,

I lived in an apartment

the size of a small child.

But look at the new place.

Oh, my God!

- Isn't it gorgeous?

- Yes.

There's, like,

this living room/parlor area.

Nancy, did you finish

the "Celebrity Scene" page?

Oh, tickety-boo.

I don't know what that means.

It means you'll have it soon.

Well, if you mean

I'll have it soon,

why don't you say

I'll have it soon?

"Tickety-boo"

is just confusing for everybody.

Oh, Mr. Peabody.

How did that get in there?

Ohh.

Alex?

Alex?

Hey.

Hi!

Hi.

How was work?

Oh, Herman's freaking out,

as usual.

Were you napping?

No, I was just rearranging

my book collection.

In the dark?

And then I closed my eyes

for a second.

Just to think, and, you know.

Is this dinner?

Mm-hmm.

So, how was your nook?

Did you get, like, five

or six million pages written?

More like five or six words.

Our upstairs neighbor had me

doing chores for her all day.

Really?

Yeah.

Well, you just gotta set

some boundaries.

Just tell her you're working.

She'll understand.

What is that?

Oh, I picked up a few things

on the way home.

It's an area rug.

- Do you love it?

- Yes. How much was it?

It doesn't seem

to cover much of an area.

It was $200

or something like that.

I don't really remember.

That was 200 bucks?

Yeah, but, you know,

it's a runner,

'cause it goes in between

the two rooms

and then ties them together.

Ooh, and look!

Look, look, look, look, look!

It's an original Pablo Flinch.

Really? Cool.

Is it, like, a Mayan

guacamole bowl or something?

It's a stool.

Here.

Try it.

What are we, hobbits?

It's a water stain!

I told Mr. Rose the problem

with the pipes this morning.

They were going

bang-bang-bangity- bang- bang.

Bang. Bang.

Yeah, the whole bathroom

could have explode.

471 bucks.

What time?

- You were here three hours?

- Yeah.

Sweetie, these were

original tiles.

How could you not hear banging?

Sweetie, I was asleep!

Napping, and in the middle

of the afternoon.

Shameful.

I'm not gonna pay

for unauthorized repairs.

I did the work, my friend.

I can rip the pipes

out of the wall.

What?

I don't know what you're saying.

Do it! Do it!

You do it.

You do it.

Alex!

- What?

Okay, forget it.

Plug it up.

I begged Mr. Rose

to do something.

I was terrified, Nancy.

Okay, well, the next

time that happens,

Mrs. Connelly,

just call me, okay?

I gave you my business card.

Alan, before I forget,

it's the first of the month.

Right.

$88.

Do you want to count it?

Remember, if she bothers you,

just lay down the law.

Be firm, but nice.

Two positives, then a negative.

- What is that?

- Psychology.

Don't wait up for me.

I got to work late.

- I love you.

- I love you.

Good morning, Alex.

Good morning, Mrs. Connelly.

I wondered if I could ask you

a quick question.

Right.

You know what?

Can I just say this to you?

You know I'm working

on a book, right?

And this book is due

in about three weeks.

And my editor is expecting it

on her desk at that time, okay?

- It's a contractual deadline.

- I see.

So I have to be working

on that book all the time

here in my apartment,

which is also my office.

It's just like my office.

If I was a lawyer,

and I went off to an office,

you couldn't knock on my door,

'cause you wouldn't be there.

So let's just pretend

that I'm a lawyer, okay?

This is my office,

and unless it's a really, really

super-important emergency, okay,

between the hours

of 9:
00 and 6:00, I'm not here.

I'm off,

away in my office, okay?

And then after 6:00,

I'm here, okay?

I completely understand.

And I apologize

for bothering you.

Not at all. Okay,

have a good day, all right?

It's just...

What? What is it just?

What is it?

I bought a copy

of your book yesterday,

and I wondered if you'd sign it.

Of course, if you're too busy,

I can come back

out of business hours.

Oh. No.

That... no.

Oh, that's so nice.

You didn't have to buy a copy.

- I have a million copies.

- It's money well spent.

Just write something that I

can treasure for years to come.

Okay.

How about, "To my favorite

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