Eagle vs Shark

Synopsis: In Wellington, Lily is a wallflower, inexplicably attracted to Jerrod, a loser. He's nursing a decade-long grudge against someone who teased him in high school; she's just out of a job. She goes home with him to a seacoast town where he intends to have it out with his nemesis; she meets his father, his daughter from a one-night stand, and other family members - and there's the memory of his talented (and dead) brother. Jerrod treats Lily badly, invents a relationship with a women he had a crush on years before, and gears up for his fight. Will she finally have enough and go home?
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Taika Waititi
Production: Miramax Films
  6 wins & 4 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.8
Metacritic:
55
Rotten Tomatoes:
54%
R
Year:
2007
88 min
$200,000
Website
1,682 Views


Lily...

I brought you here today to ask you

a very special question.

What is it?

Well, I've never felt this way

about anyone before.

Same,

but it feels really natural.

Yeah, same.

I feel that too.

"Now, Lily...

Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes.

Yes I will".

"Awesome".

"You have made me the happiest man

in the whole restaurant.

I love you".

"I love you too."

Hi.

Hello. Welcome to Meaty Boy.

I'm Lily. Can I take your order?

What?

Hello. I'm Lily. Welcome to Meaty Boy.

Can I take your order?

Ah, yeah.

Just a Mega-Meaty meal, please.

Sure. Could I interest you

in the crazy burger?

It's meat and then bread and then more

meat. It's like an inside-out burger.

- No, just the, the Meaty Meal.

- I'll just go get that for you.

Kaylee, can I've a Mega-Meaty meal.

- Okay, Lily.

- Takeaway.

- I'll just make it, okay?

Yep.

- Hi, Tony.

- Hi.

Hey, Jenny.

Thanks, Kaylee.

Okay.

Thanks very much for dining

at Meaty Boy.

Please, come back again. Bye.

What size are your...

Keep up the good work,

Meaty Girl.

Hi, I'm Jenny. Welcome to Meaty Boy.

Can I help?

Oh, no. You guys can't come over here,

because my till's broken.

Can you please, go over there?

Please, not me.

Please, not me. Please, not me.

Like I said, it's management.

They make these decisions.

Please, not me.

Please, not me.

Sorry, Lily.

It's okay.

Okay, guys.

Let's get back to work.

Sorry it's, it's unlucky.

- You can finish up the week.

- Yep.

The shark is often

a solitary animal.

It's only social contact...

Oh, no. No.

Look, you've eaten already.

Winston's trying to eat

my fish and chips.

Cute.

Attracted from the considerable

distance by the distressed or wounded.

You are apples

I am tangerines

We're different fruit

From the same tree

That sounds really cool.

Here.

I got the idea when Winston

tried to eat my fish.

Thanks, Damon.

I like that a lot.

I'm really sorry

you lost your job.

They don't know

what they're missing.

And if Mum and Dad were alive,

they'd say the same thing as well.

Thanks, Damon.

Well, it's true.

Goodnight, Sis.

Goodnight.

Hello. I'm Lily McKinnon.

Welcome to Meaty Boy.

What would you like to eat today?

A Big Boy Burger Meal, I bet.

Yes. A Big Boy Burger Meal,

please.

Okay.

Do you want the big fries?

Ah, no.

It's free.

I'll give them to you.

The big size, free.

You'll save a dollar fifty. Free.

Okay.

Do you want cheese

on your burger?

- No, thanks.

- It, it's free too.

I'll give it to you.

You'll save sixty cents.

No, thanks. No.

Why?

It's free cheese.

Can't eat cheese.

Okay. No cheese.

Okay, I'll just go

and get that for you.

Okay, order up, Kaylee.

One Big Boy Burger Meal, please...

hold the cheese,

and one large fries.

Come on guys,

let's try and make this happen.

- You work at Screen Blasterz, eh?

- Yeah.

Yeah, I know that.

There you go.

Hey, do you know that chick,

Jenny?

Yeah, yeah. She's my best friend.

Would you be able to give her this?

It's an invitation to my party.

Oh, cool.

Yeah, it's gonna be pretty cool. You get

to dress as your favorite animal.

And there's gonna be games.

My friend has a helmet and he's gonna

let us chuck shoes at his head.

- Oh, cool.

- Yeah.

Yeah, so...

- Thanks for the fries.

- Bye.

Hi, Jenny.

A guy came in today with this invitation

to give to you.

- It's for a party, for an animal party.

- An animal party?

Yeah. You go dressed

as your favorite animal.

Think it's gonna be really cool.

Do you think there's any potential way

that I could come with you?

Oh, yeah. Cool.

That sounds really cool.

Dick.

Cool costumes.

- Thanks.

- I'm Duncan.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Can you guess what I am?

- Snake?

- Yes.

Hey, Jarrod.

This is Jarrod.

He's my flatmate.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Who are you guys?

- I'm Lily.

- She gave you free fries.

- Damon.

Oh, yeah.

- I got some free fries.

- Cool.

Oh, yeah. I told you, eh?

Yeah, you told me.

Where's that chick, Jenny?

Why isn't she here?

She's a lesbian.

She went to a lesbian party.

- Typical.

- Awesome.

Oh, well.

It's getting too crowded here, anyway.

I like your costume.

Thanks.

It's pretty much

the second-best outfit here.

So, your favorite animal

is a shark?

- Yep.

- Pretty cool.

I almost came as a shark,

actually...

but then I realized that

an eagle is slightly better.

- What are you supposed to be?

- Tarantula.

- Seven o'clock, Jarrod.

- Okay, let's do this thing.

- What's happening?

- It's the Fight Man competition. Come on.

- Cool.

- It's neat.

It's a knockout tournament.

The finalist gets to fight Jarrod.

But you most probably won't win.

He's the undefeated champion.

You guys competing?

Um, yep.

- You?

- Oh, no. I'm just a spectator.

What's your combat name?

What?

You know, you're combat name

for when you're competing.

Jarrod, he's the Eagle Lord.

And I'm Blaze.

Mine's...

The Dangerous Person.

Okay.

Fight Man.

Hi, everyone. Welcome

to the second annual Fight...

third annual Fight Man competition.

First up we have Valkyrieblood

and the Ice Elf Queen.

Let's fight, man.

Fight.

Victory.

Tony, you're up.

Fight.

Destroy him.

Victory.

Next up is Dangerous Person.

Choose your destiny.

Who are you?

Fight.

Destroy her.

Outstanding.

That girl sure knows

how to play her video games, bro.

She's alright.

Victory.

That's it. Primo!

Fantastic. Flawless victory.

F***.

- Good stuff, Lily.

- You're good.

Okay, so that's the end of the list.

And we're into the finals now.

And Dangerous Person

will take on last year's champion...

and the year before

that's champion...

Eagle Lord.

Gidday.

Fight.

Nice.

But no cigar.

Kill her.

Victory.

You win.

Yeah.

- Awesome.

- Great.

It's time for my game.

- Impressive fighting, Dangerous Person.

- Thanks.

Where'd you learn to play

like that?

I don't know.

I guess I just got into it.

Well, you had some pretty cool moves

for someone who'd never played before.

Takes more than cool moves

to defeat a champion.

Don't forget that.

This is a plane I made.

Cool.

Guitar, emery board, fret board.

Painted eggs.

Jewellery.

Watch wallet.

Wow.

This is the area

where I make my candles.

Flame within a flame.

Conceptual.

Giant pencil.

Ancient coin.

Probably sell these

to the Muslims.

Sell this one to the Yanks.

Make a mint.

Cool.

I guess I've gotta keep creating

or I'll just die.

Wow.

So who's that Tarantula guy.

Is that your boyfriend?

Oh, no. He's my brother.

He's a cartoonist. And he's

very good at accents and impressions.

My brother's dead.

Oh, I'm sorry.

My parents are dead too.

Yeah, well...

My mum's dead as well.

How did your parents die?

Heart attacks.

Were they too fat?

Oh, no.

My Dad died when he was 72...

and then my Mum died

because she really missed him.

Yeah well...

my Mum got kicked in the head

by a cow.

Can't go near cows now because of that,

because I think about her too much.

I'm so sorry about your mum.

And your brother.

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Loren Taylor

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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