Early Man

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(BOTH GRUNTING)

(CAVEMEN GRUNTING)

- (DISTANT EXPLOSION)

- Huh? Oh!

(BOTH GASP)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Ooh!

(SCREAMS)

(ANIMAL WHIMPERING)

(ALL PANTING)

(ALL GRUNTING)

(BOTH GASP)

(BOTH LAUGH)

- (LAUGHING)

- (SIZZLING)

(SCREAMING IN PAIN)

(LAUGHING MOCKINGLY)

(CONTINUES SCREAMING)

- (SIZZLING)

- (SCREAMS IN PAIN)

(YELPING)

(ALL GRUNTING)

(ALL CHEERING)

(WHOOPS)

(ALL CHEERING)

(GROANS)

(ALL CHEERING)

(GRUNTS)

(CHEERING CONTINUES)

DUG:
Nearly there, Hognob.

Nearly there.

Just a bit farther.

Try a little bit harder.

We can do it.

Just a little bit more, Hognob.

(GRUNTING)

I can reach it.

Got it.

(SCREAMING) Still got it.

(GROANING)

(YELPING)

(LAUGHING) Hognob, enough!

Oi, enough now!

(MAMMOTH TRUMPETING)

Mammoths! Come on, Hognob.

Let's go wake Bobnar.

Hey, Chief.

Chief!

What? What? What?

(GROANING)

DUG:
Are you awake, Chief?

(LAUGHS)

- (SCREAMS)

- DUG:
Chief?

Time to go hunting.

Bit early, isn't it, Dug?

But, Chief, we're early man.

(YAWNS)

Come on, everyone.

Time to get up.

(ALL GASP)

Morning, everyone.

ALL:
Morning, Chief.

- Bit nippy this morning.

- (CROCODILE BITES)

Ow! Ow!

Ow!

(ALL LAUGHING)

Oops. Sorry. (CHUCKLES)

Wait, Chief. Chief...

Chief.

So I've been thinking.

You know we always hunt rabbits?

Yeah. Very tasty they are, too.

Yes, but couldn't we

try hunting something,

well, you know, bigger?

What, like a hare?

No, like a buffalo or a mammoth.

(GASPS)

(CHUCKLES) You want us to hunt a

five-ton, bone-crushing mammoth?

Yeah. Why not?

I really believe

we could do it, Chief.

Dug, look at our ancestors.

You don't see them

hunting big things, do you?

They hunted little round beasts.

Of some sort.

Yeah, what are

those things anyway?

Don't know.

I suppose they couldn't

draw rabbits back then.

Wait. Sorry, no, Chief.

Chief,

about the mammoth thing...

Look, I'll tell you what, I'll

definitely bear it in mind.

All right?

Come on, Dug.

Right, gather round.

Grab a spear.

Oh! It's pointy!

- Oh, Treebor. Just get over there.

- Aw, Mum!

- Morning, Barry.

- Morning, Dug.

Mr. Rock coming hunting today?

Oh, yeah, wouldn't miss it

for the world.

Morning, Asbo.

Change your underpants today?

Yeah! Changed them

with Thongo, Chief.

Champion!

Mmm.

- Chief.

- Yes, Gravelle?

When I put my arm up, it hurts.

Well, don't do it, then.

Grubup, don't eat that.

That's Eemak.

(CHUCKLES) Yum!

(DISGRUNTLED

GEORDIE GOBBLEDYGOOK)

Exactly. Uh... Right.

Heads down, everyone.

Thank you, Dug.

Shh!

(CLEARS THROAT)

We give thanks for our valley,

our home,

this precious ground,

which sustains us

and gives us shelter

from the Badlands.

May we live in peace, balance,

and harmony with our forest

and all the creatures

we share it with.

Right, let's go kill something.

(ALL CHEERING)

(SNIFFING)

(MIMICS BIRD CALL)

(CLICKING TONGUE)

(CONTINUES MIMICKING

BIRD CALL)

(CAWING)

(CHITTERING)

(MIMICKS RABBIT)

(GROANS)

A rabbit!

(ALL SHOUTING)

That's it. That's it.

- I've got him.

- (SQUEAKS)

DUG:
To you, Eemak.

Ouch.

(DISGRUNTLED

GEORDIE GOBBLEDYGOOK)

(GROANS)

Nice try, though.

Let's use

an element of surprise.

- (SQUEAKS)

- (SCREAMS)

- (GIGGLES)

- Righto, Chief.

Ow!

I got him!

No, I haven't!

(GROANS) Great! Champion!

(BLOWING RASPBERRY)

Got you!

Whoa!

I got this, Gravelle.

Ha-hey!

- (SCREAMING)

- (BOTH SCREAM)

(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

Well done, Mr. Rock!

(ALL WHOOP)

Nice job, everyone.

- Rabbit surprise tonight!

- (ALL CHEER)

(WHOOPING)

(RHYTHMIC DRUMMING)

(PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC)

See, Dug?

We hunt rabbits,

everyone's happy.

(WHOOPING)

Although the thing

about rabbits, Chief,

well, they are quite small.

Dug, Dug. Look at us...

You seriously think

we could catch a mammoth?

Nice moves, Mr. Rock.

CHIEF BOBNAR:
Us lot?

You've been practicing.

(DISTANT THUDDING)

(GROWLING)

(BARKING)

Shush, everyone.

(HEAVY FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

(BRANCHES SNAPPING)

(CLANGS)

(ALL GASP)

(ALL EXCLAIM)

The rabbits are fighting back!

(ALL YELPING)

I don't think this is rabbits.

Attack!

(ALL WHIMPERING)

(TRUMPETING)

- Run!

- (ALL SCREAMING)

(WHIMPERS)

(CHEERS)

(SCREAMING CONTINUES)

Mr. Rock!

No!

(SOBBING) No!

To the Badlands!

What, leave the valley?

CHIEF BOBNAR:

Come on. Just run.

(HOGNOB BARKING)

Hognob!

(GASPS)

CHIEF BOBNAR:
Where's Dug?

Have you seen Dug?

(BOTH GRUNTING)

- Go on.

- BARRY:
Thank you, Chief.

(DISTANT TRUMPETING)

CHIEF BOBNAR:
Dug!

Hmm...

Excellent.

All right, secure the valley.

Start mining ore.

Or what, Lord Nooth?

Ore, you fool!

Start mining the ore.

The metal that's in the ground.

Oh, the ore! In the ground.

(CHUCKLES) Yes.

What about the primitives?

Oh, let them rot

in The Badlands.

They are

the low-achievers of history

with their puny flints

and their drafty caves.

DUG:
You've picked the wrong

tribe to mess with.

LORD NOOTH:
(MOCKINGLY) Oh, I am so scared!

You are waving your stones about!

(YELLING)

The Age of Stone is over, Dino.

(CONTINUES YELLING)

Long live the Age of Bronze!

(DUG GROANS)

(GASPS)

- Oh.

- (SCOFFS)

(GASPS)

LORD NOOTH:

Okay, let's get moving.

Of course, Lord Nooth.

(URGES MAMMOTH)

LORD NOOTH:

I'm late for my massage.

(SOLDIERS SHOUTING

INDISTINCTLY)

(HOWLING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(MAMMOTH TRUMPETING)

(MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

(GROANING SOFTLY) Huh?

(GASPS)

(DUG YELPS)

(GRUNTS)

(YELPS)

(GASPING)

Uh...

(GASPS)

- (OX BRAYS)

- (GASPS)

CART DRIVER:
What are you doing?

Get out of the way!

Hey! Hey!

(GASPS)

TOOLMAKER:

Multi-purpose pen swords!

Very handy

for opening bottles, too!

Sliced bread. Wow!

That's the best thing since...

Well, ever!

- (CLANGING)

- (GROANS) Oh!

Hmm.

- (CLANGING)

- GOONA:
Hey!

- DUG:
Huh?

- Don't touch the bronze.

- The what?

- The bronze!

Where have you been,

the Stone Age?

Oh. Uh...

What?

- (BANGING GONG)

- (GASPS)

(CHANTING)

(PEOPLE CLAMORING)

(ALL CHANTING)

ORDERLY:
Fifty schnookels!

Fifty schnookels!

Voluntary contribution.

Everyone has to pay!

MAN 1:
It's gone up again.

- MAN 2:
It's daylight robbery!

- Fifty schnookels!

Voluntary contribution!

Hey! She hasn't

voluntarily contributed.

GUARD:
Hmm? Stop her!

(SCREAMS)

- Hey. Hey.

- GUARD:
Oi! Stop her!

(PANTING)

(YELPING)

(GRUNTING)

(YELPING)

Whoa!

(SINGING)

Hmm?

(CHUCKLES) Hello. Oh!

(MAN SCREAMS)

(CRASHING)

- (METAL CLANGS)

- (MAN GROANS)

- (DOOR BANGS)

- DUG:
Sorry!

JURGEND:
(LAUGHS) I tell you,

I wouldn't want to

be facing me out there.

(MEN LAUGHING)

- (ARMOR CREAKING)

- (GROANING)

GONAD:
Hey, Hgelgraber,

can't you see in that thing?

The arena's this way.

(CROWD CHANTING)

You girls are gonna

get slaughtered. (LAUGHS)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

- (GROWLS)

GONAD:
Let's go!

(CALL AND RESPONSE CHANTING)

All stand for our mighty

leader, Lord Nooth!

- (CROWD CHEERING)

- (GASPS)

Who challenges the champions?

We challenge the champions!

We accept the challenge!

- (CROWD CHEERING)

- (BOTH GROWLING)

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