East Meets West

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In 2011, a scientist from

the University of Cambridge

William Tunstall-Pendoe

input over 3 hundred million pieces of data

into a supercomputer

in order to determine the precise date

of the single least meaningful day of

the last century

it was a peaceful day, with not much

happening of international import

except that by some strange coincidence

I managed to be born

I've been spending over 30 years

ignorantly passing through this tunnel called life

I see the same people every time when I get drunk

they tell me to get out of this tunnel

as soon as possible

and go to see the outside world

I'm Sammi

I do makeup for the dead

What

Fortunately modern Chinese culture

still has room for shrimp dumplings and shaomai

When I see them together, inseparable

I can't help but think of Romeo and Juliet

Iove and hate mixing together

So powerful!

Well here's a discounted package for you then

It's a set menu. Night Lovers For Two

When shrimp dumplings meets shaomai

on this honeymoon banana split

the original price was 26.8

now it's only 20 for you

because fate had us meet here

I didn't ask for a banana split

Miss, this banana is mine

Please get a new bag of shaomai for this lady

It's quarter to midnight

only 1 5 minutes to March 1st

that's when these shaomai expire

fate doesn't have to be decided by god

it's managed by our company mostly

"Table for 6"

it's a speed dating service specially

designed for singles

keep changing till you find the right one,

no 10% service charge

You shut up

Hey Miss, don't leave yet

You really need our service

You know why?.

take a look, according to our database

the women who come to convenience stores

at this time of night...

...are sad, why?.

They must be workaholics

- Of course not

- Well, even worse

no boyfriends taking care of you

it's ok to refuse me

but don't refuse fate

My first name is Seven

Last name is Eleven

Then I'm Circle K

- Hey Hey!

- don't follow me

You're a pro, perfect!

don't move! freeze!

What are you doing?.

Let me check you out first

I just want to see if it's love at first sight

According to the theory of

the psychologist professor Pandora from Harvard

the first time two people meet

if one's body temperature stays

a constant 38.6 degrees Centigrade

there is an 80% probability of love at first sight

bullshit

I don't believe in either love or marriage

Well said

Having sex without love,

living together without marriage

Either is ok with me

Alright?.

Hello? what's wrong dad?

Huh? Shenzhen?

What are you doing in Shenzhen?

Just watching her move

I can tell she's no ordinary woman

what's more she absolutely is no ordinary woman

"1 980's pop sensation"

"the Wynners"

"Kenny Bee as the Zombie""

Look at your dead looking face,

goofing around your whole life

What goofing around?.

It's my job to be a zombie

You called me urgently yesterday

I called back but your phone was off

I called your home and no one answered

Have a little common sense

I'm up to my ears in debt,

how can I turn on my cellphone?

You're kidding me?. you're in debt again?

Not me this time, it's your mother

I'm sorry, it's stepmother

We broke up seven times within two years

It's getting hard to keep her in line

Harder than raising a daughter

You deserve it

She is the most vain of all my classmates

and you picked her?

if you hadn't called her up to fix the computer

how was I supposed to make her your mom?

I didn't call her

I called her boyfriend Tommy

and she invited herself

What are you reading uncle?

Horse Racing Tips

Those tips are a scam

Here's my tips for you

I'm off now uncle

Scarlet, where are you going?

Back to home to wait for a call

Wait for me

ok! I'm going to Betting Center

Wait

What is it?.

Race 2, 3 hooks 38, 90, 12

What's Scarlet running away from this time?.

She promised a businessman Charles from Guangzhou

to hold The Wynners' 38th anniversary concert

and already spent the 500 thousand deposit

Just have the uncles come out for help

Hey! aren't you supposed to

scare people as a zombie?.

You can't just stand around

Jeez! You scared the sh*t outta me!

You think I didn't call them?

they all have work to do

That's right,

I just can't understand

why every one from the Wynners has work

only you could end up like this

What? Like what?

at least I stand on my own two feet

Being a zombie is

a perfectly respectable occupation

I beat three students from Hong Kong University

when I had my interview

I didn't scare those last two guys,

I'll try harder next time

Is there any point so low that

I haven't seen it with my own two eyes

and yet with millions of

Hong Kong citizens watching me

I can't make a single wrong move

for fear that I would let them down

Showtime

Hello!

Is Bee with you?.

Scarlet you stupid b*tch

Not answering Mr Charles's call?

where's your wife?

Stop! freeze!

- You're at Art Capital?

- Ah!! Go!

Tell your dad to meet me

Art Capital

Was it Scarlet?

Yes! said she found knock off Wynners

Jump...

What are you doing?

They told us to jump

Who?

Roger. The fourth bird from the side

next to her is his cousin Elaine

My God, you understand bird talk now

Yes, I do understand

It's been happening a lot recently

Get them back to see Mr Charles

Yes! Don't say I didn't warn you

Wow! I can't believe we survived the fall

It's God's will that

I go to Guangzhou to chop that b*tch

They are down there

The birds are pecking them

It's mutation of bird flu Dad

Thank you Roger

Daughter, I've heard there are lots of singers

staying in Art Capital hoping to be discovered

Well, your wife is "lucky" this time,

let me tell you

I'm here to chop her up

I'm heading back to Hong Kong

after I'm done! Got me?

No way! If we could just handle this concert

I could turn over a new leaf

What if those knock off Wynners get popular

I am their manager

Art Capital, please

Megan, here's my chance

If I become an actor

I could finally get close to you

Roger

I am Wen from Foshan

I graduated from the movie Yip Man

and the sequel

Hey Driver

Don't drive so Donnie Yen

Just a little more Lynn Xiong please

Hey!

We have no money

but talent and strong will

I am a policeman

weeding out the bad and

protecting the good is my sworn duty

It's Method Acting

I just turned Yip Man into a policeman

using only my imagination and a gun

but his name is still Yip Man

Fantastic

Well, I'll give you a chance

Alright, character, role, personality?

taxi driver

Ok! sit tight

This is crazy, does he has driving license?

...You two talent scouts, I could take on

it's just like flying a plane!

...ten Donnie Yens!

What are you doing?

I'm looking for singers, not circus performers

dad

What do you want?

I'm looking for my wife

Scarlet

What you said has inspired me

I'll sing a song for you

You are not the only singer here, I can sing too

manager

Go

Miss Jade! Miss Jade!

It's too dangerous here

they're just jealous of your music talent

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