East Side of Heaven Page #9

I just dropped in

to say goodbye.

Goodbye?

Where are you going?

I've got to leave town.

Leave town? What for?

Because Nicky and I are liable

to be pinched any minute.

But any minute.

Pinched? Why?

Because of what happened

with Nicky this morning.

For heaven's sakes,

what happened?

Well, I brought

old man Barrett

to get the baby

and there was no baby.

Somebody took it.

Somebody took it?

Who'd do a thing like that?

I don't know and I'm

not waiting to find out.

Just a minute,

come on out here.

What is it?

Did you ever hear of anyone

drinking gin out of a nursing bottle?

Honey, this is no time

to be kidding.

No? Well, listen.

Claudius DeWolfe just bought a

baby hamper and a nursing bottle.

He did? Yeah. Where

there's smoke, there's fire.

Where there's nursing

bottles, there must be babies.

But what in the world would

DeWolfe want with the Barrett baby?

Well, I don't know,

but let's find out.

Listen, Mary.

You go up to his room.

He'll let you in, won't he?

I think so.

Okay, give me a little time and then

see that his radio is tuned to WIX.

I've got an idea.

What is it?

You wait here.

Call for Mr. Knowlton!

Bobby. Ask one of the boys to relieve

me for a few minutes, will you?

Sure.

I can handle

that chorus now.

Fine, Denny.

That sly old gentleman

From Featherbed Lane

Is watching you

Peeking through

your windowpane

Why, Mary.

I just wanted to tell you

to be sure and heat the milk

before you give it

to the baby.

What? And don't forget

to sterilize the bottle.

Come in, Mary.

By what powers of detection

did you divine that I was

entertaining an infant?

Try and keep a secret

in a big hotel.

I have tried before

but with no success.

This time

it's a harmless secret.

Not even any scandal?

Hardly.

Unless it's scandalous

that I should be taking care

of my sister's baby.

Oh, may I see it?

Oh, no, no,

we mustn't disturb

the slumbers of the innocent.

Would you care for a drink?

No, thank you.

Do you mind if I have one?

Not at all.

Thank you.

With the sly old gentleman

From Featherbed Lane

We interrupt this program to make

an important news announcement.

The Barrett baby,

grandson of Cyrus Barrett,

was found 10 minutes ago and

restored to his grandfather.

For further details,

see your evening newspaper.

Oh, thank heavens. I'm so

glad that baby's all right.

What's the matter with you?

Don't you feel well?

I don't feel anything,

I'm numb.

Why?

I got the wrong baby.

I don't understand. That's

your sister's, isn't it?

I wish to heaven it were.

Will you stop

being so mysterious

and tell me

what it's all about?

Mary, I was gonna pull the

biggest scoop of my career.

I was gonna hand the baby back to Mr.

Barrett tonight at the broadcasting station.

Even telephoned him

and told him to be there.

Whose child is it?

Where'd you get it?

Well, I suppose

I might as well tell you.

After I talked to you

this morning,

I decided Denny must have

the Barrett kid,

so I sent a friend of mine

to investigate.

He found this brat in Denny's

apartment and brought it here.

A baby in Denny's apartment?

Well, there's nothing funny

about this.

You've got

the landlady's baby.

What?

Yes.

Nicky minds it for her every

day when she goes out shopping.

Mary, you can do me a big favor.

I'll do one for you someday.

Take that kid

back to the landlady

and tell her you had it out

for an airing.

Tell her anything,

but get it out of here.

Well, I don't know.

Mary, you will do this for me,

I know you will.

There's no time to lose, Mary. Maybe

you can get it back before she misses it.

All right, but I wouldn't

do this for anybody else.

Mary, I'll never forget you

for this.

I know you won't.

Thank you, Freddie.

Okay.

Here it is.

Calling Mr. Robertson!

Mr. Robertson, please.

That's our baby.

What? We got it back again?

Denny, it worked out

perfectly.

As soon as he heard

the broadcast,

he told me

where he got the baby.

Never mind about that now.

What we got to do is get

the baby home to Mr. Barrett

as soon as possible.

If the cops

don't get us first.

But Mr. Barrett's gonna be

at the broadcasting station,

Claudius was gonna

meet him there.

Oh, he was, was he?

Gonna make a big hero

out of himself, huh?

Well, DeWolfe's been pushing

me around long enough.

Now it's my turn.

Hotel Raleigh.

Who's calling, please?

Just a minute.

It's Barrett

calling DeWolfe.

Hello. DeWolfe?

My secretary tells me you want

me to meet you at your broadcast.

May I ask what for?

Well, Mr. Barrett,

I thought I had some important

information about your grandson,

but since you have him back, I guess

there's very little more for me to say.

Have him back?

What are you talking about?

You mean the baby

wasn't returned to you?

Returned to me?

Of course not.

Look, Mr. Barrett, you meet

me at the broadcasting station

and I'll try to explain

everything there.

Just a moment.

It's DeWolfe.

Yes, Mr. DeWolfe.

Mary.

I'm glad I got you in time.

There's been

a mistake somewhere.

Now, wait for me.

I'll be right down.

He's coming right down.

What do we do now?

Think fast,

Denny, think fast.

Call for Mr. Stewart!

Mr. Stewart, please.

Mary, I've decided it wouldn't

be fair to let you do this,

I'll take

the child back myself.

But I thought you said...

It's all right. Boy?

Thanks just the same, Mary.

Yes, sir.

Carry this out for me

and carry it very carefully.

Yes, sir.

You and your boyfriend thought you

were being very smart, didn't you?

Well, it might interest you to know

that I've been on to you all the time.

Nobody can put anything

over on me.

Toodle-oo.

Don't worry, dear, he's

probably up in the nursery.

Good evening, madam.

Higgins, has Mr. Martin

brought my baby home?

No, ma'am.

I knew something was wrong when

there was nobody at Denny's flat.

Is my father home?

No, sir. He's on his way to the

Federal Broadcasting Station.

Broadcasting Station?

What for?

Something about the infant,

sir.

Mr. DeWolfe called him.

Come on, darling.

Good evening, fair listeners.

This is your Manhattan

mentor, Claudius DeWolfe,

bringing you the news flash

of the century.

The mystery of the missing

Barrett baby has been solved.

While the entire police department

combed the city and failed,

while every force of law and

order searched fruitlessly

for the son

of Cyrus Barrett, Jr.,

I, your humble reporter,

alone and unaided,

accomplished what hundreds

of others have failed to do.

I, ladies and gentlemen,

found the Barrett baby.

But before I give you the

details of this amazing story,

I am going to restore the child to the

waiting arms of his anxious grandfather,

who is expected here

at any moment.

Oh, just a second,

here comes Mr. Barrett now!

Mr. Barrett,

your worries are over.

Here is your grandson.

Are you happy, honey?

Mr. Barrett, I don't know

how this happened.

Don't you?

DeWolfe, are you trying

to make a fool of me?

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