Easy Living Page #3

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Ah!

Rabbit's feets!

Mr. Louis, Mr. Ball.

Thank you.

Take your hat off!

Oh, excuse me.

Well, Mr. B., the bonds

are due today, so here I am.

Johnny-on-the-spots!

That's fine.

But you don't

have to bother me.

Go downstairs to the window

marked "Loans. " The big window.

Mr. B! You and I

just get along like this!

Just like Mike and Ike! Did

you come here to pay, or what?

Yes. I come here

to pay my respects,

because in the whole world

of financials...

Listen, you! You're three years

behind on your first mortgage,

two years behind on your second,

and one year behind on your third.

Mr. B., what do I know

about such things?

The Hotel Louis must succeed

because it is the best!

Excuse me. Now, think! Think

of my Roast Veal a la J.B. Ball!

Yeah! Yeah! Everybody knows you're

the finest cook in the world!

But you don't know

anything about business.

Now you get back into that kitchen

where you belong, you'd be better off.

Now you're foreclosed!

I'm doing you a favor.

Oh, Mr. B., please!

Give me six months.

Oh, not on your tintype!

Well, just give me six weeks.

I'll give you a week.

What can I do in a week? All

right, I won't give you a week!

All right, I'll take a week!

Bye-bye. I must go. I'm in a hurry.

What are you going to do?

Well, I don't know,

but I got a week

to do it in!

Down. Oh, excuse, please.

How can such a phenonument be a flop?

Louis.

Louis.

You might... This might be a

little bit more comfortable. I'll...

Pardon me. Louis.

Louis, Louis.

What is it? What is it?

Louis, who do you suppose

was in my salon this morning?

What I suppose was in your salon? Yeah.

What I need is

something in my salon,

something like a...

Like a convention, and quick.

You'll never guess.

All right, all right.

I'll play a riddle

with you. Who?

The Bull of Broad Street.

Who?

The Bull of Broad Street.

With a chicken. Chickens,

bulls, what do I care?

You don't mean

the Ball of Bull Street?

That's just what I'm trying

to tell you. With a twoip?

With a dancing partner.

You got the dope? The dame's name?

The hangout? Etcetera, etcetera?

I have, but I haven't the slightest

idea of parting with a scrap of it.

Mr. Van Burens. With a

little corruption from you,

the curfew shall not rang next

week. Thank you, thank you.

Sorry, Wafford.

I'm sorry, sir.

How many times

I told you not to creep?

There's a Miss Smith

to see you, Mr. Louis.

What? What?

Why don't you say so?

Get out of my way.

Yes, sir.

Where is my coat tail?

Here.

Boy.

Get me a flower.

Yes, sir.

How can you think of girls

at a time like this?

Girls, girls, girls.

She's the girlfriend

of our first, second

and third mortgage.

What's the matter with you?

She's got to live here. With

little Smithy in the house,

not even a monster

can foreclose.

What's the matter with you?

You think I'm a stiff?

Yeah. No, sir.

Put it back in the icebox.

Yes, sir.

Meet me, Gurney. This is

the last cheese in the trap.

Miss Smith?

Yes.

A pleasure. Sit down, sit down.

Oh, excuse me my liberty of

sending you, myself, a telegram.

You look exactly as I thought,

only 100/ much better.

Well, thank you

very much.

I don't know how you

ever heard of me,

but I'm sure we'd

get along all right.

Miss Smith,

I am a man like this.

I don't beat around the bush

to come in the back door.

I tell you,

this is where you belong

and this is where

you got to be.

Well, I'm perfectly willing.

I don't ask very much and...

Until you have lived

in the Hotel Louis,

you ain't.

I have to live here? I

insist. Please do me a favor.

And now, take a peek, huh?

At what?

This way. I'll show you.

This way. After you.

This way, please.

This way.

The Imperial Soots.

Yes, sir.

Excuse me,

please.

First reception rooms.

Nice, eh?

Second reception room.

The kitchen.

For hanging pictures.

Very handy.

Excuse, please.

Third reception room.

Excuse me.

Main saloon.

Fireplace.

It makes it more homey.

Piano.

You tickle the ivories?

Oh, I... I...

Aye-aye-aye!

La-la-la-la.

It needs tuning.

Some joint, huh?

Yeah.

For everything you wish,

we anticipate.

Even before you think.

Now, look. Service. Mmm.

There.

New. Everything new.

Excuse. This way.

Four reception room.

Kitchen.

I knew it was hanging around here someplace.

Gas box.

What?

They tell me it works with

gas, but I don't believe it.

First bedroom.

Hotsie, eh?

There. Yes. Invisibles.

Fifth reception room.

Undressing room.

Ah!

Two-way mirrors.

Every other hotel

has got three.

Wait.

Plunge.

What's it for?

For wash.

Golly.

Gymnasium.

Well, what's that?

A horse.

A horse?

Mmm-hmm.

Excuse, please.

We're getting some fun.

Nice fellow.

Yeah.

Excuse, please.

Now, last, but not least... Excuse. Now.

Your bedroom.

My bedroom?

Nice place to flop, huh?

Couldn't you be

cozies here?

Well, yes, it's cozy,

all right, but...

But I don't think

I understand.

How much would

you pay me?

How much would

I pay you? For what?

Well, for,

for whatever it is?

Don't you think you should pay

me a little bit of somethings?

For what?

"For what"?

For what I just show you. The dining

room, the kitchen, the bedroom,

the... The horse.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Are you trying to rent me

this little number?

Exacts.

Is that why you sent for me? Certainly.

I think you've got

the wrong Smith.

You think so?

I'm sure of it.

Just a minutes,

just a minutes.

Mary Smith?

Yeah.

West 112th Street?

Yes.

You bought a hat

this morning?

Yes.

Oh, you're the right Smith.

But how did you know?

This is where you belong.

A beautiful young girl like you

has got to have a background.

This is what you call

a background.

I should say it is.

No matter where you look,

you'll never find another

background goes so far back.

You're right, Mr. Louis, but

look, I couldn't afford even the...

I couldn't afford

any of it.

Just a minutes,

just a minutes.

That's what you think,

my dear young lady.

But I'll tell you

something confidentials.

The management will make

some concessions.

That's awfully sweet

of you, Mr. Louis,

but even if you... We'll

meet you more than halfway.

Look, even if you

came the whole way,

it wouldn't make...

But, listen, listen, listen.

What are you paying now?

$7.

No, no, no, I said what are you paying now?

I mean rent, rent.

$7.

$7. Seven...

One, two, three,

four, five, six, seven?

Yes, with breakfast. One egg. Let me see. $7.

Seven times seven,

56. Minus...

My dear young lady,

could you make it...

Not seven times

seven, Mr. Louis.

One times seven. $7 a week. A week?

With breakfast.

One egg.

$7 a week with a gymnasium.

You're driving a hard bargain,

my dear young lady.

$7 a week.

But, Mr. Louis, I don't...

It is yours.

But I don't want...

It is yours.

You want breakfast?

You got it.

But, look, I wouldn't...

I... I want you here.

One egg, two eggs,

three eggs. Ostrich eggs.

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