Easy Living Page #4

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What do I care? I'll send a

truck and move you immediates.

You can't.

I owe for the week.

Well, well, well,

we'll pay it.

Why? Why? Why?

Why? I'll tell you why.

I don't beat around the back door

to come down in the coal chutes.

Come here, please.

Come here. Look.

You see them lights going on and off? Yes.

That's bellboys. They switch the

switches, so the people don't know

that my hotel is a fizzle. Now, that's

of course strictly confidentials.

Oh, what a shame,

Mr. Louis,

I'm so sorry.

But with you here,

anyway I have some legitimate

lights in my towers.

Oh, I see what you mean. You can

do also me a little favor, too.

What? The next time you see Mr. Ball...

Mr. Who?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I... I shouldn't have

mentioned names.

The next time you see that

certain party without the name,

will you tell him what a

beautiful layout we have here,

what a beautiful, classy

service we have here?

Will you tell him,

that under no circumstances,

you will not move?

Tell who?

That certain party, you know... Where?

Wherever it does

the most good.

Oh, you mean you want me

to boost your hotel?

That's the exact word. I could

not have said that in 10 years.

Boost it in

the right place and soon.

Well, I'll do my best,

Mr. Louis.

And loud.

Yeah, and loud.

And how.

Yeah, and how.

Golly.

Thank you.

If I hadn't seen it,

I wouldn't have believed it.

I've seen a lot of things today,

I never would have believed.

Yeah.

Haven't I seen you somewhere?

I don't think so.

I didn't get to the Waiters'

Ball this year. Oh, neither did I.

Were you at

the Junior League dance?

Were you at Mrs. Astor's on Thursday?

No, I couldn't get away in time. Oh, too bad.

It couldn't have been nicer.

Really?

Were you in

Palm Beach in February?

Were you in

St. Moritz, Christmas?

No, I couldn't

make that, either.

Well, I couldn't make it,

either. So I guess we haven't met.

By the way, I hear the

beefsteak pie is magnificent.

Six nickels. And with three nickels

more you can get a grapefruit...

Oh, shut up.

I'm sorry.

I thought part of my job

would be to suggest things.

Yes, well, if you can suggest

where to get the nine nickels,

I might take

your suggestion.

Otherwise, don't go around

putting ideas into people's mouths.

I'm sorry.

What's the matter?

Haven't you any...

Listen.

You again.

You go over to that Hot Dish

window... Hotchkiss window?

What's the matter? You got

something wrong with your teeth?

I said, "Hot dish window,"

smartie.

You go over there and pick

out what you like, see,

and I'll go in back and work

the gag. I'm allowed in the back.

Say, what are you trying to

do? Land us all in the jug?

I'll put the nickels in when I get

paid and you can pay me back sometime.

I'm not that hungry.

Don't be a sucker, sister.

That beef pie is a wow.

Suppose they see you?

Well, I'll say the gag was stuck. Now, go on.

I'll meet you behind the

grapefruit. No, no. Wait, wait.

Is everything all right?

Everything's hunky-dory.

I'll see you at

the beef pies.

The door stuck.

I mean,

the gag isn't working. Neither

are you, buddy. Come on.

Now, listen. Don't start

pushing me around.

Now, don't get hard.

I'm not as soft as I look.

Oh, you think so?

I think so.

Hey. Food. Food.

Come on, folks.

Right here, for food.

All free food.

Let's go.

Hey, wait a minute.

That's my food.

I just put that there.

Hey, listen,

that's mine.

Hire a hall.

It's mine.

Come on.

You mean... You mean,

you... You lost your job?

Well, there wasn't any...

There wasn't any

future to it, anyway.

Slave for 20 years

and you're...

You're still behind

the nut salad.

I know, but that's awful.

That's... That's terrible.

Have you got any money saved up? Money?

No.

Now, you see?

When you're working you

ought to save your money,

and then when you're

resting you can eat.

Mmm-hmm. Like you.

No, not like me.

But when you're hungry, no busboy is

going to lose his job trying to feed you.

Yes, there's

something in that.

More than

meets the eye.

Have you got

a place to sleep?

Oh, sure, sure.

Where?

...Park Avenue.

What?

...Park Avenue.

Huh. In the park.

Mmm-hmm. In the park. Well, supposing

a guy does go in the park and...

Well, I think you'd better come up

to the Louis and we'll talk it over.

The Louis? Okay.

You live at the Louis?

Sure.

Then what were you doing

in the Automat? Eating.

Oh.

Kitchings.

Wait a minute.

Just why did he want you to live here?

He said the lights in his tower were

illegal and if I came and lived here

it would be all right

or something or other.

I didn't really know

what he meant.

Gas box.

A what?

It runs by gas,

but we don't believe it.

First bedroom.

Hotsies, eh?

Are you sure he didn't say

anything else?

He said I should put in a good word

for the place with anybody I met

and you're the first person I

met, so I brought you right over.

Look. Invisibles.

Glass to you.

Fifth, uh... You know,

he did say something about

telling somebody

something or other,

but then he said

he shouldn't mention names,

and he was sorry or something, I don't know.

Who?

Mr. Louis. You know,

I think the guy's crazy.

No, no, no, no, no.

What name did he mention and then

say that you shouldn't mention?

Well, he said, "Bull. "

Bull.

Yeah.

That's funny.

My name's Ball.

That's funnier still.

What?

That was it.

That was what?

That was the name he said.

Ball?

Yes.

To bed so early, sir?

Well, what is it to you?

There's nothing like it,

sir, for a dull night.

Will that be all, sir?

What did she take with her?

Twelve trunks, sir,

17 suitcases,

three jewel boxes,

oh and an umbrella, sir.

Why an umbrella

in Florida?

Well, we thought it ill-advised,

sir. Would that be all, sir?

My son come in yet?

Not yet, sir.

What did he take with him? He

took nothing, sir, nothing at all.

Fathead.

Sir.

I said my son

was a fathead.

Indeed, sir?

It had escaped us, sir.

Will that be all, sir?

No, sir... I mean, yes.

Pack me a bag and take it down to the

club. This place is getting clammy.

Yes, sir. No. Wait a

minute. I've changed my mind.

The club is deader than this

is. Take the bag to the Ritz.

Very good, sir. No, no.

Wait a minute. Wait, wait.

You better take it to the

Hotel Louis. Certainly, sir.

The Hotel Louis, you know?

Yes, sir.

Louis will drop dead.

Find anything?

Nope.

Well, he said

it was to wash in,

but I don't know

what you'd wash in it.

An elephant.

Doesn't she look silly standing up

there with her hands sticking out?

I guess she doesn't know,

either. Doesn't know what?

What it's for.

What are you doing?

Well, I thought for a moment that this

might have something to do with it.

Turn it off.

It's cold.

Turn it off.

Elephants, huh?

Well.

What's that?

A buzzer.

Oh, oh...

They mustn't find you here.

Hide someplace. Hide.

I... I can't get out.

Oh.

Oh, don't be frightened, Miss Smith,

it's only me. Just take the fan.

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