Easy Living Page #5

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Oh! Oh, hello.

Hello.

Now, just pour yourself into

these, dear, and fall in a faint.

My dear, I want you

to try these on,

without any

obligation whatsoever.

After all, you know, you're

practically my discovery.

All right.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Bye-bye.

You know, there's something

awfully phony about this.

Are you just beginning

to find that out?

What do you mean you won't publish

it in your column, Mr. Wallace?

In the second place it is the truth

and in the third place she lives here

right here in the Hotel Louis,

the roundabouts of the bong tong.

I don't know who

you've got living here,

but I tell you the old man

don't buy fur coats for dames.

If anybody knew, it would be me, wouldn't it?

I'm telling you, she is,

he does, but you don't.

I don't what?

You don't know

what's going on

in New York.

I don't know what's going on in

New York. You just ain't up to date.

I just ain't up to...

You just lost a grips.

Listen, you greasy little

hamburger... Hamburger.

Mr. Ball's

at the desk, Mr. Louis.

Mr. B...

Yes.

How long does it take

to get a room in this shebang?

Oh, Mr. B. You are a sight for eyesore.

Huh?

I want a room with a bath.

A room with a bath.

Now, let me see. The Imperial

Soot is already occupied.

Give me the key of the

Royal. I don't want the Royal.

I want a room with a bath.

All right.

Give me the key

of the Prince of Pilsen Soot.

I don't want the Prince's

Soot. I want a room with a bath.

But a room with a bath

cannot be up in the tower...

Well, what do I want to be

in the tower for?

You don't mean to tell me you don't

want to be near the Imperial Soots?

What for?

Give me a plain double room.

With a bath.

Naturally, with a bath. You don't

think we use the rain barrel, do you?

Excuse me.

Just a jokes.

After you, Mr. B.

It is an unexpected pleasure

to have you here, Mr. B.

I just moved in

for the funeral.

Yes, but it's the last corpse

who laughs the longest.

Mr. Louis, I was just

looking for you.

What?

Oh, hello. Hello,

Santa Claus.

How do you do?

How are you getting along?

All right.

You know each other, eh?

Well, well, well. Yes.

You live here?

Yes.

Yes, I do. Mr. Louis made

me a very special rate.

With breakfast.

Yes, one egg.

That's what I want to

talk to you about, Mr. Louis.

I was wondering if I could have the

egg now instead of in the morning?

You mean now?

Yes.

Don't you think supper'd

be a better idea?

I don't think

I'm entitled to supper.

Entitled.

Is she entitled.

You name it and we'll

wrestle her up quick.

Ernest. Ernest.

Take an order. Now.

Now, I should think you should

have... You should have now, here now,

a little snack of Lobster

Financier? No, no, no. Not at all.

Have you any guinea hen?

Yes.

Breast of guinea hen on

Westphalian ham. Guinea hen.

What I am thinking about. Naturally.

And a little salad

with orange and avocado.

No, no, endive

and beetroot.

And don't forget the

truffles with the guinea hen.

Endive and beetroots? Yes, that's

right, but may I make a suggestion?

A little bottle of 1923 Mums,

don't you think?

No, I do not. I think she

should have George Goulet, 1919.

With guinea hen? Mmm.

You heard me.

And a bomb surprise

for the end.

You are good

and hungry now, yes?

Yes, yes, I am.

Now, Ernest, serve for two

up in the Imperial Soots...

And make it snappy.

Yes, sir.

Please. Take care of it.

Ninth floor. Yes, sir.

Hello. City Desk.

Kill that Leisendorf blessed

event and lead off with,

"What leading

international financier... "

Make that "Flash.

What leading international

"financier has gone pfoof

with his wife

"over a beautiful gal

at the Hotel Louis?"

Take the lady to the

Imperial Soots. Yes, sir.

What was that

young lady's name?

What's the young lady's... Mary Smith.

Smith?

Mmm. Exacts.

I thought it was Jones.

What a diplomat.

That's one of the finest

suppers I ever supped.

No, that's not right.

Yes, it is, too. Supped.

It's just like Arabian Nights or something,

except you don't look

much like Prince Charming.

You know, we used to have a chef years ago

that could fix guinea hen just like that.

That's one of my father's

favorite dishes. Poor old father.

Say, he must have been

pretty rich at one time.

Who?

Your father.

I mean, to have a chef and all like that. Oh.

Oh, yes.

Has he been dead long?

Who, the chef? No.

I think he went back to

Bulgaria or Romania or someplace.

No, no.

I mean your father.

Did I say

he was dead?

Well... Well, you said,

"Poor old father. "

Well, you don't have to be

dead to be "poor old father. "

You don't even

have to be poor.

I suppose you don't have to be

old, either. Not so terribly.

Well, I wouldn't

go around saying,

"Poor old father" and squeezing

sympathy out of people.

I wasn't trying

to squeeze any sympathy.

I should think a fellow has a right

to think of his folks once in a while,

so when I said,

"Poor old father... "

What are you

going to look for?

I said, when I said,

"Poor old father... "

In the morning,

what kind of a job?

Oh.

Oh, I don't know.

What do you suggest?

Well, I'd... I'd aim

a little higher, I think.

It wouldn't do

any harm, you know.

Can't you do anything

besides wait on table?

I can't even

wait on table.

All I know is how to take the dishes off.

Didn't you study

to be anything?

Anything like what?

Like a... Like a dentist or something.

Mmm-mmm.

Well, how did you expect to while

away the hours after you grew up?

I didn't have to

study to do that.

In training I have whiled away

an hour in 26 minutes flat.

Of course, I always had a dream that one

day I'd be able to do it in 25, but...

I remember there was a fellow

in college called Underdunk

who had the longest legs...

Oh, shut up.

Come to think of it, it wasn't

Underdunk, it was Overdunk.

You know, I'm awfully glad

you came into the Automat.

So am I.

Good night.

Good night.

Say...

"What leading

international financier

"has gone pfoof with his wife

over a beautiful girl,

"and followed her over

to the Hotel Louis?"

Ah!

Many things are clear today

which previously were murky.

Over to where?

I said, over to

the Hotel Louis.

It's simply swarming

with bankers.

What's the matter with this

hotel? It isn't fashionable, dear.

You will notice when J.B. Ball wants

to peccadillo, he doesn't pick it here,

he goes over to

the Hotel Louis.

Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello, Hello.

Hello. Yes,

this is me.

This is the V-16

Company of America.

You want to what?

Did I ever what?

Oh, no. Of course I've never driven

one. No. No, we had a Saxon. Yes.

Yes. Well, I suppose

they are different.

Well, what do you want to

do that for? Oh, well...

I'll take your word for it.

Yes. But, look, even if I did

want it, what would I use for...

Oh, but, mister, you...

Look, please,

you don't...

Yeah, I know,

but I... Yeah.

Well, all right.

All right.

Yes, you can put two chauffeurs

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