Easy Living Page #6

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in it if it'll make you happy.

Pink. Well...

Well, any color you like.

All right, all right. Goodbye.

Yes? Yes,

this is Miss Smith.

Well... Well, just fine.

How did you sleep? Who?

Well, you'll have to say it again...

Cart what? Oh, Corray. Yes. Yes.

Yeah, I got it.

Yeah. Yeah, but...

No, no, I haven't

any of those. I'm sorry.

You make... You make what? Yes. Well,

that's wonderful. That's, that's lovely,

but I don't want

any jewelry. No. No.

Wait a minute.

Yes? Yes. Yes, this is me.

Please. Please don't do that.

How do you know I'm honest?

Maybe I'll run away with them.

No, I don't want a...

I've already got a fur coat.

Look, Mr...

Mr. Corray, look.

You see, I just got up and

I'd like to take a bath. Yes.

I said I want to

take a bath.

Look, if you'll just give me

a chance to wake up.

I said I want to

brush my teeth.

All right. All right.

Oh! All right!

Oh!

Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.

Good morning. All for you. Oh, good morning.

All for you.

All for you.

Answer the phone,

will you, please?

Hello.

This is the Smith residence.

Tell him I'm

canning some fruit.

The missus... I mean,

the miss has gone hunting.

No, the hunting with hounds on

a horse. I beg your pardon? No.

I said an horse,

an equine. You know...

What do you mean,

how big a suites?

She gets what we give.

Hello. No, no, no.

We don't give any informations

from the customers.

What kind of a dump

do you think this is?

Mary Smith.

Here, here. When a man takes

the trouble to come here...

Please, please,

please, please.

Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hello, is this you, Louis?

This is Mrs. J.B. Ball.

I want some information.

I'm sorry, madam, but I

think you got the wrong Louis.

Did you have a pleasant night, Mr. Ball?

Mr. B., good morning. I want... Good morning.

That certain party call up

but I give her the bum steers.

What?

The storm and strifes.

She just give me a buzz, but

I got her entirely mystified.

Well, you've got me

entirely mystified, too.

"Cocktail waitress,

$12 and tips. " Oh.

Oh. "Must have curves. "

Well, you've got them,

haven't you?

Oh, thank you, Johnny.

"Let us teach you

tattooing. " No.

Say, here's one I can do.

Listen to this.

"Are you worried? Take your troubles

to the Professional Listener.

"$1.50 an hour. "

What?

There it is right there

in black and white.

That's better than

the Automat.

Well, I don't know, Johnny. I don't

think you'd make a very good listener.

Well, there must be something for

somebody that can't do anything.

Well, look here. "Attractive

widow with small capital

"would like to meet gentleman

with sense of humor. " How's that?

I guess I'm kind of

dumb, at that.

Oh, no, you're not. You're just a

little underdeveloped, that's all.

I beg your pardon.

Oh.

Well, it's only temporary,

you know.

It's just that some people develop

sooner than others, that's all...

But when those others

are developed,

why, they're just as well developed

as the others, you see what I mean?

It's like now, you...

You take a chicken.

Well, a chicken reaches

maturity at...

Well, whenever it is, but

on the other hand, a horse...

Oh, a horse takes

much longer.

You think I'm

the horse type?

You know, I think I'm kind

of dumb sometimes myself.

You're awfully sweet.

Do you think so, Johnny?

Yes.

No, no. You... You finish

your breakfast. I'll go.

Ah, Miss Smith,

E. J. Hulgar and Company,

stock brokers.

All principal cities.

What?

I want to make you some money

and the best way is in steel. Is it going

up or down, that's all we have to know.

I'd like to make you

a lot of money.

Well, look,

that's wonderful.

Go right ahead.

Go ahead and what?

Well, go ahead

and whatever it is.

Well, whatever it is... That's

what I came to see you about.

Shall I buy

or shall I sell?

Well, why don't you

just use your own judgment?

That's the one thing in the

world that I don't want to use.

But if you could find out

how he feels about it,

if you could sort of

worm it out of him

then we'd have something.

Who?

Him.

Who's him?

Allbay.

Allbay?

Mr. Ball.

Oh, you mean him.

Well...

Well, I'll ask him, but I'm sure

he doesn't know a thing about it.

He's here? Yes. He's having his breakfast.

I... I... I'll wait out

in the hall.

Well, what do you

want to do that for?

Don't mention my name.

No.

Uh, I don't even

remember what it is.

Oh, look,

"Sponge rubber neckties,

"look like leather, wear like iron. " Johnny!

A man in the hall wants to

know what you think about steel.

Steel neckties?

No, no, plain steel.

Is it going up or down?

Oh, down!

Down?

Yes.

How do you know?

Oh, my father told me!

You see, whenever it looks like

rain, the stock market goes down,

like a dog follows a cat.

You're sure, now? Oh, I've

made a deep study of it!

Well, all right.

He says it's going down.

Down?

Down.

Holy smoke!

Down! Down! Down!

Down! Down!

Going up?

No, down!

Yes, sir.

Down!

...that steel is going up!

It's the chance we've been

waiting for, gentlemen!

Did you win?

Steel is going up!

Why are ore

shipments so heavy?

Stop fooling with that pen!

Why is pig iron soaring?

What does it mean,

when steel scrap is scarcer than hen's teeth?

Have you got a pin?

What?

No!

I tell you...

...that steel is due

for a big drop!

Double exclamation point.

"This is the greatest opportunity the

clients of E. J. Hulgar and Company

"have ever had to participate

in advance information

"from the world's

greatest expert on steel!"

Triple exclamation point!

And Mr. Salmon of

London, and Mr. Jonas,

and Mr. Metzger,

and Lord Beaver.

All right, all right!

Take a letter.

Uh...

"Miss Mary Smith,

care of the Boys'... "

What-do-you-call-it,

"New York, New York. "

No, make that the Hotel

Louis, New York, New York.

What is this, anyway?

"My dear Miss Smith. "

No. "My dear Mary... "

Uh...

"My dear Mary. "

Don't rush me!

Now, where was I?

"My dear Mary. "

Oh. Oh. Oh.

"My dear Mary.

"There was a schoolboy called

Jones... " Make his name Willie.

Willie Jones.

No, no! Just plain Willie!

And I want it on plain paper.

We got any plain paper?

If we haven't, we can get some. All right.

"There was a schoolboy

called Willie Jones... "

Just Willie.

I said his name was Jones!

"... who wanted a hundred marbles

to play a game of maggies. "

Aggies.

Oh, whatever you call it!

Have you got that?

Of course I have.

All right. Now.

"His friend... "

What is this here?

Tell the porter to come

and clean it up!

"On the other hand,

his friend Henry...

"His friend... "

Say, steel is too low!

Buy 1,000 at the market!

1,000 steel.

Tell Mr. Hyde

to come in here!

Send Mr. Hyde in.

"On the other hand,

his friend Henry...

"On the... "

Five more! And tell that fellow

to hang onto the end of the line!

Five more!

10 more, and watch it.

Did you ring for Mr. Hyde?

Yes, sir.

Get me Kirk and Company.

Kirk and Company.

"On the other hand,

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