Easy to Wed Page #10

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It's my problem.

Let me work it out my own way, please.

You're quite sure you don't want me to?

And you'll ask him point-blank

so that he can't misunderstand?

Yes, so he can't misunderstand.

Just tell him I'd like to see him, please.

- Go on, darling.

- All right.

Hey, don't you think we're too old

to play hide-and-seek?

Yes, we're too old

to play blind man's bluff too.

You know, I like looking for you.

It's so nice when I find you.

- Bill...

- What?

There's something I've got to ask you.

If it's the moon you're gonna ask for,

it's yours.

I ordered it this morning in your size.

What's the matter?

Bill, I...

I just don't know where to begin.

We've had so much fun together,

such happy times and...

What are you trying to say,

that they're over?

I don't know.

Connie, what's happened?

What is it?

Bill, it's just that there's a question.

Well, ask it.

The most important I'll ever ask.

Just answer yes or no.

Don't explain.

If it's no, don't explain.

Go ahead.

- Bill?

- Yeah.

Well, Connie, what is it?

Bill, have you had many proposals?

Proposals? Well, that depends.

I mean, what kind?

Marriage proposals.

Not enough to turn my head.

- Bill, I'm asking you to marry me.

- Is that the question?

- Yes, will you marry me?

- But, Connie, l...

Answer me, Bill. Will you or won't you?

- Will I.

- When?

- When?

- Now?

- Now? You mean soon?

- I mean now. Tonight.

- Tonight?

- Will you, Bill?

Is there a preacher in the house?

Oh, no, no, not here.

We'll take the car. We'll drive.

Oh, Mibs, I thought I'd lost you.

You can never lose me. Didn't you

know that? Didn't you know that?

William Stevens Chandler,

ever been married before?

- No, not to speak of.

- No.

My wife will be the witness.

She'll be down in a minute.

- Are they sober?

- They seem to be.

- This is love, not alcohol.

- Well, join hands.

We already have.

Do you...?

Here.

"Do you, William Stevens Chandler...

...take Constance Allenbury

to be your lawfully-wedded..."

- Did he show?

- About 10 minutes ago.

- And that dame with him.

- My hunch was right.

I knew he'd bring her.

Did you call Gladdy?

- Sure.

- What'd she say?

She was furious. She said she'd tear that

hussy's blond hair out by its dark roots.

Hey, there's Gladdy. Duck.

We got him cold now, kid. Wait here.

So.

- Why, Gladys, this is a surprise.

- I'll bet it is.

I'm sorry to bust up your little party,

Miss Connie Allenbury...

...but that man

happens to be my husband.

This is the lady I was

telling you about, Miss...

Miss Nothing.

Mrs. William Chandler is the name.

- Mrs. William Chandler, get it?

- I've looked forward to meeting you.

Bill's told me so much about you.

He told you about me? That...

Oh, no, you don't.

You're not taking any powder.

I wouldn't think of it.

I just don't want Warren to miss anything.

For the first time, Haggerty,

we see eye-to-eye.

Come in, Warren.

Hear everything or shall we start over?

- Mr. Haggerty, nice to see you.

- How do you do? Gladys...

You keep out of this. This has nothing

to do with you or your newspaper.

- As Mrs. William Chandler, I demand...

- I beg your pardon, there's been a mistake.

But this is Mrs. Chandler

and has been for a whole hour.

- What?

- Yes, we were just married.

- Married? Why, you're out of your mind.

- Listen, if...

- But we are married, really.

- Like to see the marriage certificate?

I always carry it with me.

"Constance Allenbury,

William Stevens Chand..."

- Why, they really are married.

- But that's arson.

That's bigamy, dear.

What a story, what a story.

"Constance Allenbury Marries Bigamist."

Print that and have another libel suit.

- I am not a bigamist.

- Well, you married me, didn't you?

- That one doesn't count.

- Doesn't count?

- Doesn't count.

- What about...?

A certain Mr. Joseph Simpson,

your lawfully-wedded husband.

Don't hand me that.

I've been divorced from Joe...

You obtained your divorce

in Yucatan by mail.

All Yucatan divorces were ruled illegal

three years ago.

I looked that up

in the Hall of Records yesterday.

I also consulted my lawyer.

Gladys and I were never really married.

- And, Bill, don't forget the...

- Oh, yes, the letter from Mrs. Chandler.

What letter?

She was so touched by your plea

for those 500 starving employees.

You dropped the suit.

Connie, I mean, Miss Allenbury...

I mean, Mrs. Chandler.

I don't know how to thank you.

I can't thank you...

"Allenbury Heiress Marries Miracle Man."

What a story, what a scoop, what a day.

Mr. Haggerty,

haven't you forgotten something?

Oh, yes, my hat.

Your hat and Mrs. Simpson.

Mrs. Simpson? Oh, Gladys.

Gladdy, you know

that Mrs. Simpson kills me.

I've got to dash.

You call me in the office.

Just a minute.

If you want a real scoop,

I'll give you one.

I learned my Yucatan divorce

was no good...

...so I got a second divorce

from Joe Simpson in Reno.

You can look that up

in your Reno Hall of Records.

Now where do we stand?

- Let's sit.

- Bill, this is awful.

You were all terribly smart, weren't you?

All working for the happy ending.

Haggerty wins his case,

Chandler wins his girl.

But where do I come in?

I'll tell you. Right behind the eight ball.

I'm just something to kick around.

Something to protect a newspaper

or another woman's good name.

You had a lot of fun

making me fall for you.

And I did fall, but I'm picking myself

right up, Bill Chandler.

You can't fool me anymore

with your Ophelia and your Hamlet dribble.

You're a pretty poor excuse for a husband

but nobody else is gonna get you.

- Now, Gladdy, let...

- You're 10 times worse than he is.

He had some excuse for kicking me around.

He was in love with another woman.

You double-crossed me for a newspaper.

Well, marry the paper and be the proud papa

of a lot of little headlines.

I suppose this is all very distasteful to you,

Miss Allenbury.

You're not used to hearing the truth.

You've had a lot of money to protect you.

Spent your life

buying anything you want.

Well, my husband isn't worth very much,

but you couldn't buy him for any price.

- Come on, Gladys, wait a minute, will you?

- Let me go.

Gladys, you can't walk out on me like this.

Now, Gladys, will you...?

Oh, Gladys. Oh, Gladdy.

Let me handle this.

You two diplomats have done enough.

I'm afraid that's locked.

- Well, I'll find a way out of here.

- That one's locked too.

- Well, give me the key.

- Not just yet, I wanna talk to you.

- lf you dare offer me money, so help me...

- I wouldn't think of it.

- Well, what else is there to talk about?

- You.

- Me?

- Yes.

Gladys, I've a pretty fair notion

of what you've gone through.

Please let me finish.

Any woman can be starved by neglect.

Those attentions Bill paid you

probably seemed so much greater...

...because you weren't getting

any at all from Haggerty.

Why, I bet he never noticed

the clothes you wore...

...and how lovely you looked,

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