Easy Virtue Page #8

That was very gallant.

You've got to stop them, Mother.

- No, I don't.

Oh, marvellous! Marvellous!

Straight from the bordellos

of Buenos Aires

to the Hippodrome of London, Maestro,

take it away!

Jim, this is the end.

Congratulations, Madam.

Have you been drinking, Furber?

- Yes, Madam. Prodigiously.

You are full of surprises.

- Oh, yes, Madam.

I was even arrested once.

What for?

- Bigamy.

Ah, there you are,

Pinkie, I've found you.

Larita, where are you going?

Away, Sarah. For John's sake.

Far, far away.

Is there anything I can do?

You can look after him.

Women like me are tiresome in love.

We expect too much.

Marry John. It's the way things

always should've been.

I'm just so sorry I got in the way.

- You love him that much?

Go. I'll cover for you.

Sweet Sarah.

So glad you've recovered

from your headache.

Please don't build any convenient

social lies on my behalf.

I say, Mother is only...

- Fighting to keep the charade alive?

You've shown tremendous fortitude

holding this family together, Veronica,

and I can respect that.

What I can't respect is the manipulative

road you've chosen to maintain control.

This war is over. Move on.

"Move on." Oh, how convenient.

Oh, wake up, Marion.

Edgar's not coming back.

And that ring isn't stuck, you are.

And Hilda, you've got such promise,

yet you're squandering it on malice.

My advice to both you girls?

Run! Go see the world

through your own eyes.

So speaks the siren,

leading the sailors to their death.

At least I'm not Medusa,

turning them to stone.

Get out!

- Larita? Lari?

Lari, don't go.

- John, I have to.

I can't live here. Nothing can.

But you're my wife, and I love you.

Oh, John, my darling...

You don't know what love is.

You have no idea what it means

to love someone so much

that you will do anything for them.

Even inject them with poison

when they were too feeble

to do it for themselves.

I don't believe that you could've

ever loved me like that.

Oh, John, let her go.

Let her go, off into the sunset

to inject another family with her poison!

Mother...

Off you go!

Before your past

catches up with you... again!

Mother!

Oh, you evil...

Mother! Shut up!

They are predicting warmer weather,

Madam.

Yes, Furber, I believe they are.

Thank you.

Very generous.

There's something special in there

for Jackson. Make sure he gets it.

Of course.

Where will Madam be staying?

Who knows?

Good luck.

And you, Furber.

Would you forward the painting please,

Furber?

To where, sir?

I shall enjoy passing on

the good news, sir.

Well, my dear, when the going

gets tough, the tough get going.

# I've got something to tell you

Really?

# I got something to say

I'm all ears.

# I'm going to put

these wheels in motion

# And let nothing stand in my way...

# Darling,

I'll climb any mountain

# Darling, I'll do anything

# When the going gets tough

# The tough get going

# When the going gets rough

# The tough get rough

# Gonna get myself across the river

# That's the price that I'm willing to pay

# I'm gonna make you stand and deliver

# And give me love

in that old-fashioned way

# Oh, darling,

I'll climb any mountain

# Darling, I'll do anything

# Cos when the going gets tough

# The tough get going

# When the going gets rough

# The tough get rough...

My Lords, ladies and gentlemen,

introducing the Easy Virtue Orchestra.

On piano,

the honourable James Watson.

On the bass,

Thomas "The Bass Engine" Mason.

On the euphonium, Oren Marshall.

Christopher Webster, trombone.

Drums, Mr David Rowntree

and Benjamin Bryant.

On the ukulele, Paul Woollard.

On the guitar, Christopher Montague.

On the washboard, Jason Boshoff.

Saxophones, Mike "The Micro" Smith

and Samuel Franke.

On clarinets, Christopher Caldwell

and Bradley Grant.

On the trumpets, Gerard Presencer

and Christopher Storr.

On strings, Sophie Solomon, Perry

Montague-Mason, Emlyn Singleton,

Boguslaw Kostecki, Peter Lale,

David Daniels and Joe Knight.

Thank you.

And on the saw, David Coulter.

On the bandonen,

Ian "Tango-man" Watson.

And on the oboe,

Katherine "St-John-St-John" St John.

Thanks, Kate.

On the slide whistle, Stephan Elliott.

Michelle De Vries on the cymbal.

Barnaby Thompson on spoons.

Tristram Penna, Gramophone.

Thanks, Tris.

And on the banjo, Benedict De Vries.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

you've been a wonderful audience.

Tell your friends

and please come back soon.

And remember, keep your powder dry.

Goodnight. Thank you.

# I'm going to buy myself

a one-way ticket

# Nothing's going to hold me back

- Really?

# Your love is like a slow train coming

# And I feel it coming down the track

# Oh, darling

- I'll climb any mountain!

# Darling

- I'll do anything!

# When the going gets tough

- # When the going gets tough

# The tough get going

- # The tough get going

# When the going gets rough

- # When the going gets rough

# The tough get rough

- # The tough get rough

# Ooh, can I touch you?

# And do the things that lovers do

# Ooh, I want to hold you

# I've got to get it through to you... #

Gobble, gobble!

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