Eating Out Page #3

I called the cops the first

couple of times.

Oh. Huh. it probably isn't

different guys.

it's probably just the same

just different roles.

Oh no, it's different guys.

Sometimes there's like three

and they do this whole gang bang routine.

She's all ''No! You're doing me

all at once!''

Sick, huh? But you know, to

each her own.

My parents think I'm nuts for

chasing gay boys.

Maybe they'd lighten up if i

into orgyastic splendor.

You know, two guys, one

orifice. They call it double dicking.

That's pretty weird.

So...Caleb.

Before you started to go girl,

did you ever go girl?

Oh, no. I mean, just the

thought of it is-

Ooh! Defensive. Like not even

before you came out?

No.

Okay, so sue me, but I have

to say it.

if you've nevertricked with a

are you sure you pick dick?

Well, um. I've never done it

uh, you know, gay.

My god you're a virgin?

A virgin homosexual? Lemme touch you!

What about Kyle?

Oh, we never...

Thank god, you just don't look

right together.

A virgin.

You're so cute.

How did you make it past 18.

I would have thought some

plucked you from the chicken coop a long time ago.

Well Marc is very gentle. He

You've got nothing to worry about.

Okay.

Caleb, honey.

if you've never had a boy or a

maybe you should try the normal thing first.

I mean why stray down a path

isolation when happiness might be right here.

Ever even been curious about

kissing a girl. A little maybe?

um, Gwen?

Yes?

We need to talk.

Talk to me.

Am I interrupting?

Okay, I tried everything. Total

fag. He's all yours.

She tries that on everyone-

not that there's a lot of guys...

You ready?

Sure, whatever.

Play with the safety on, boys.

Always do, Mother.

Would you boys do me a

favor? it would so turn me on.

What's that?

Kiss. I think two guys kissing

is so hot.

Not in front of you.

Oh, please?!

We haven't even done it in

I mean we don't even know if we're going there!

Think of it as an icebreaker.

Caleb? Please? For me?

um, only if it's okay with

Marc.

Oh, it's okay.

Well great!

Great.

Great.

Please, how's a girl supposed

I kissed my grandma like that in her coffin.

Gwen, if he doesn't want-

Wow. That's a way to start a

date.

How was that?

it was great.

it was a start.

Goodbye, Gwen.

Oh, uh bye Gwen.

Bye...

Sexual.

Sorry about all that. That's

just Gwen.

Oh, I totally dig her. She's

great.

Seems like every time I find

it's a girl. Straight boys must have it so easy.

I wouidn't say that.

Oh come on, perfect girls are

everywhere. it's cruel.

I'm sorry, am I making you

nervous?

Not at all.

I'm making you nervous.

No, it's okay.

So, I gotta warn you. They're

all music-types at this party.

Classical musicians. A little

offbeat.

That means crazy.

Yeah.

You like classical?

Hello! Sweetheart! Oo! Who is

this?

Caleb, this is Richard. And his

wife Miko.

And so the program spelled

Beethoven- B-E-A-T...

So Caleb , what do you do?

um.

He goes to the u.

Wonderful! So how long have

you two been an item?

Ronnie!

Please!

We kinda just met.

That's so sweet! The two of

you look so cute together.

Like a couple ofJudds or

Culkins.

Caleb, have you heard Marc

play?

No.

Well you must. He is the most

this school's had in years.

it's divine. Marc, you have to

play something before you leave.

I thought we were going to do

eight hands two pianos later.

Yes! Richard! Set that up!

Caleb. Why don't you turn

pages for Marc and Winston.

Just turn the page as fast as

you can when I nod.

You'll do fine.

Ready?...

And.

Turn!

Oh!

Sorry.

Turn!

That was so cool, man. You

guys were awesome.

You really had a good time?

it was great! That Ronnie's a

character.

Yeah, I have some weird

friends.

They were fun, though. And

you're great on the piano.

Well, I'm also a flautist.

Just eat less beans.

Have you seen this one?

I don't think so.

it's really good.

Your next appointment?

Yeah?

What're you guys doing?

it's just Kyle.

He asked about me?!

No.

Has he mentioned me?

No. What do you want?

Well, what're you guys doing?

Renting videos.

What?!

I can't believe you're going

along with this.

This is sick.

I'm in a video store. I can't

really talk.

Pronto?

Hey.

I'm at Debbie Milford's. Am i

hang over night here?

Renting a video is code for

having sex.

You're paranoid.

Renting a video?

So I am staying the night.

Gwen, he's so cute.

What else is gonna happen?

Two gay men

sitting on a couch,

boring movie,

raging hard-ons. it's the code

you rent a video, you get laid.

Dude, you said there was no

such thing as Gayspeak.

Well I was wrong. Do not go

home with him.

Gwen's gonna be there.

Only if she's a bad fag hag.

Gwen honey, yourturn.

Just a second.

Take yourtime sweetie.

We have all night long.

Caleb, this is so not cool.

Nothing's gonna happen.

Plus, I can tell Gwen's into

me. it's working.

Of course she's into you.

You're gay.

Shut the f*** up.

God, Gwen he is so... unh.

Well sweetie, if you don't

please-please-please call me so I can come home.

Okay.

Swear on your Simon Rex

jackoff video?

No fair!

Look, don't you get bi-curious

now.

if she's not home, I outta

there.

Keep your hands off my man.

I'm hanging up.

Okay, he's getting off.

So.

You seen

any of these?

Gwen?

Gwen?

Hmm.

I thought she'd be back.

Well, at least we got the

place to ourselves.

Go ahead, make yourseif at

home.

And when I say that I mean

and roll around on the floor.

Gwen?

Trust me, if she was here,

she'd be all up in our pubes.

So.

Video?

Huh?

You know, that thing we

rented.

Oh yeah.

We could watch it.

Yeah.

Or...

Or?

Orwe could not watch it.

Oh.

it's up to you. I'm cool either

way.

Oh, sorry.

That was really good.

Yeah.

So.

Gwen's still not back.

She usually is by now.

it's getting late.

Yeah, I'm getting tired too.

I should probably...

Yeah.

Hello?

You answered? You f***!

Gwen!

What's going on?

Cause if you were f***ing you

wouldn't be answering.

And if you're not f***ing, you

telling me I can f***ing come home.

Yeah, Caleb's here. We just

watched a video.

You actually watched it?

Look, Debbie had one her

so they put me in her dead Grandma's room.

it's really creepy in here.

We thought you'd be back by

now.

Ha. F***ing. Ha.

I'm dying la muerta loca here.

Yeah, maybe he can stay and

we can all three hang out some.

So you're that desperate.

Hasn't anyone made a move yet?

Yeah, the movie was great.

Oh God. Marc, let me talk to

him.

What?

Put him on, let me get the

balls rolling.

um.

She wants to talk to you.

Really?

Yeah.

Here he is.

Marc, don't f***ing waste

this.

Hello?

HI Caleb.

How was the date?

um. Huh.

Oh, I guess you can't answer,

because he's right there.

Yeah.

Okay,

let's play a game. You wanna

play with me?

Okay. Sure.

I'll try to figure it all out,

while you just say yes or no. Okay?

Yes.

Good start. 01:
40:43:28

Hmmm.

Have you done anything?

No.

Are you nervous?

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