Eating Raoul Page #6

Synopsis: When a Paul enters his apartment to find Mary fighting off a swinger who has gotten into the wrong apartement (and thinks that Mary is just playing hard to get) he hits the man with a frying pan, killing him. Their dreams of running a small resturant seem to be in jeopardy until they decide to dispose of the body, keep the wallet, and to advertise for other sexually oriented visitors who are summarily killed, bagged, robbed and disposed of. This goes along quite well until one night a burglar named Raoul breaks in and cuts himself in for a piece of the action.
Genre: Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Paul Bartel
Production: Criterion Collection
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.8
Rotten Tomatoes:
86%
R
Year:
1982
90 min
Website
282 Views


I don't want you to think

that it could ever happen again.

I'm not about to risk my marriage for

the sake of some low animal attraction.

What risk?

Your husband's never gonna know.

Yes, he will!

We know each other too well.

He can sense

when something's different.

Maybe you're right.

Maybe we should tell him everything.

- Are you crazy?

- Yeah, I'm crazy! About you, chiquita!

I don't care about your husband

or the money.

- I don't care about nothing but you!

- That's ridiculous.

You don't understand

who you're dealing with.

I'm a hot-blooded, emotional,

crazy Chicano.

I think you're a calculating

little bastard.

Bastard?

All right, then. I'm gonna go to your

husband and tell him everything!

And then we'll have to fight for you,

man to man.

A man in love will do anything,

and I am a man in love.

And I think you're a little in love

with me too, huh?

Don't be silly. That's nonsense.

I'm not in love with you.

I was confused that night because

of that cigarette that you gave me.

You'll like it even better

the second time.

If I'm wrong...

...Ill never bother you again.

Is it a deal?

- You'll say nothing to Paul?

- I promise.

Come on, chiquita.

I wanna make love to you.

Well...

...just this once, but as long as you

turn out the lights.

Any way you like it.

And I know you're gonna like it.

Here.

You remember the way

I taught you to smoke this?

I think so.

Oh, baby, I'm gonna drive you crazy.

- Have you seen Mary?

- Not for a half-hour or so. Why?

It's past 1:
00, and there's a whole

ward that hasn't had its lunch yet.

Hold down the desk.

I'll see if I can find her.

Make it snappy. Those amputees

get mean if they don't get their grub.

This was very wrong.

You didn't think that a little while ago.

Then you didn't wanna stop.

Mary, if you've finished

your examination...

...you're wanted in B ward.

Oh, my God. It's after 1:00.

Shush! Someone's gonna hear you.

You know, chiquita, you and me

could make each other very happy...

...and very rich...

...if it wasn't for your husband.

It is only because of my husband

that I'm here.

If he excited you the way I do,

you wouldn't even be with me.

We've been together 10 years.

Our marriage is based on something

much more important than sex.

- Like what?

- Like friendship and security.

There would be more security

for both of us...

...if we split the money two ways

instead of three.

- You are crazy.

- What would you do if...?

Just supposing now, if something

were to happen to Paul?

Would you continue

to do business with me?

- Nothing is going to happen to Paul.

- No.

No, nothing's gonna happen to Paul.

But you never know.

What do you want?

I'd like a vibrator, please,

and a pair of handcuffs.

- Hey, he's not 18!

- Come on, I'm 18.

- Get him out of here!

- Give me the magazine!

- Out of the store, kid.

- And a...

- And a what?

- A cock ring.

Oh, a cock ring. What size?

Hey, you got the latest issue

of Nuns and Nazis?

Tuesday.

What size?

- Medium, I suppose.

- Is it for you?

- Medium will be fine.

- Sure.

Vibrators start at 10.95 and go up.

We've got the Salami,

the Man-o'-War and Alien.

Just give me the cheapest one.

Nothing's cheap about my store.

You mean inexpensive, don't you?

Isn't that what you meant?

- Yes.

- That's what I thought you meant.

- Want a cheap pair of handcuffs too?

- Yes.

You're gonna need lubricant

for this vibrator.

We've got KY and Le Orgy gel.

Hey, you taste it,

you're gonna buy it, all right?

The Le Orgy gel comes in lemon,

mint, cherry or trail mix.

- Trail mix?

- I was making a joke.

Just these three items will be fine.

You're probably gonna need

some stay-hard roll-on.

- No, thank you.

- Titty lube? China shrink cream?

- No.

- Ben Wa dancing egg?

Just these three items will be fine.

Okay, hot rod, it comes to $ 19.50.

But I'm telling you, you're gonna need

a lubricant for this vibrator.

Unless your date's inflatable.

For your information, I'm buying this

to use as a novelty cocktail stirrer.

Sure!

Paul, nobody is trying to kill you.

We're the ones killing people.

Twice he tried to run me down,

the rotten little beaner.

- What rotten little beaner?

- Guess.

Did you actually see Raoul driving?

No, he was wearing some kind

of ski mask.

You said it was a Toyota. Have

you ever seen Raoul in a Toyota?

Well, maybe he borrowed it.

Maybe he stole it. It was definitely him!

You're jumping to conclusions,

and I don't wanna discuss it anymore.

Now, why don't you help me

with these letters.

What's a basketjob?

- I thought you said 50 cents a pound.

- That's for trimmed, man!

For this stuff, you're lucky to get 30.

Yeah, all right.

I should have trimmed it.

All right, man. We got some driving

to do. Let's go.

- Dog food?

- Doggie King brand.

So what? Who cares,

as long as we get our cut?

What if somebody recognizes

a piece of clothing or jewelry?

- Not likely.

- What if somebody finds out...

...what the night crew

feeds into the grinder?

- Raoul knows what he's doing.

- I'll say he does.

You know where he's

getting the money?

- From the cars.

- Cars?

Something we never thought of.

He takes the car keys

out of their pockets...

...and figures out which of the cars

downstairs belong to them.

And then he sells the cars

for a lot of money.

- A lot more than he's splitting with us.

- I don't believe you.

- He's making thousands of dollars.

- Nonsense.

We'll see when

I confront him with it.

Listen, in a couple weeks

we will have everything we wanted.

- What is the point of making trouble?

- I'll tell you what's the point.

He is making a play

for my wife and trying to kill me!

That's the point!

Oh, my God. My 9:00.

- Hello?

- Just a minute!

Just a minute! Keep your shirt on!

Vayas con dios, indeed.

- Carla?

- I said, just a minute!

Paul, I can't find the pants

to this costume!

- I'm coming!

- Oh, Carla?

F*** the costume!

Your Majesty, this is delicious!

Really!

Nothing but the finest for me

and my best friends.

Well, what a surprise.

- I hope you don't mind my dropping in.

- Of course not.

Please forgive the house.

Frank had some old Army buddies

in last night and...

Please.

- So how's it going?

- Great.

Of course, it is a mixed bag.

Some of those people

that come to us...

- Pretty gross, huh?

- Not just that.

Some are into fantasies that require

a great deal of acting ability.

And while Mary has gotten a lot

better in the last few weeks...

...there's one where I'm afraid...

- You need a pro.

Exactly. Mary doesn't know

anything about this, of course.

I didn't wanna hurt her feelings.

You understand.

Of course. So, what's the deal?

- Full costume?

- Yes.

But not the type that you're used to.

Excuse me.

Do you believe in the sixth sense?

- I think I gave you over a dollar.

- No, no, no. The sixth sense.

Some blind people have it.

I have it.

- May I sit down?

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Paul Bartel

Paul Bartel (August 6, 1938 – May 13, 2000) was an American actor, writer and director. Bartel was perhaps most known for his 1982 hit black comedy Eating Raoul, which he wrote, starred in and directed. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Eating Raoul" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Jul 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/eating_raoul_7442>.

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