Ed Wood
- R
- Year:
- 1994
- 127 min
- 517 Views
FADE IN:
INT. HAUNTED MANSION PARLOR - NIGHT
We move through a spooky shrouded parlor, as a storm rages
outside. THUNDER roars, and lightning flashes in the giant
windows. in the center of the room lies an oak coffin.
Suddenly the lid starts to creak open. A hand crawls past
the edge... and then the lid slams up! Famed psychic CRISWELL
pops out. Criswell, 40, peers at us intently, his gleaming
eyes framed under his striking pale blonde hair. He intones,
with absolute conviction:
CRISWELL:
Greetings, my friend. You are
interested in the unknown, the
mysterious, the unexplainable...
that is why you are here. So now,
for the first time, we are bringing
you the full story of what
happened...
(extremely serious)
We are giving you all the evidence,
based only on the secret testimony
of the miserable souls who survived
this terrifying ordeal. The
incidents, the places, my friend, we
cannot keep this a secret any longer.
Can your hearts stand the shocking
facts of the true story of Edward D.
Wood, Junior??
EXT. NIGHT SKY
Lightning CRACKS.
We drift down past the dark clouds... through the torrential
rain... and end up...
OPTICAL:
EXT. HOLLYWOOD - NIGHT
We've landed in Hollywood, 1952. We're outside a teeny, grungy
playhouse. The cracked marquee proclaims "'THE CASUAL
COMPANY,' WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY EDWARD D. WOOD, JR."
Pacing nervously in the rain is ED WOOD, 30, our hero.
Larger-than-life charismatic, confident, Errol Flynn-style
handsome, Ed is a human magnet. He's a classically flawed
optimist:
Sweet and well-intentioned, yet doomed by his demonswithin.
The doors open, and Ed's pal JOHN "BUNNY" BRECKINRIDGE, 45,
hurries out. Bunny is a wealthy, theatrical fop wearing a
string of pearls.
[PAGE 2 MISSING]
Suddenly the rest of the cast runs up, frantically upset. In a
flowing white dress is DOLORES FULLER, 23, a sharp, hungry-
for-a-career ingenue. She's near tears.
DOLORES:
Eddie, my dove just flew out the
window!
CREW MEMBER:
She goes on in two minutes! What
are we gonna do??
They all look to Ed, awaiting a response. He thinks a second,
then excitedly CLAPS his hands.
ED:
Dolores, give me your shoes.
DOLORES:
What?
ED:
The ghost can be barefoot. Give
me your shoes!
She hands Ed her white shoes. He snatches one, grabs a pair of
scissors, and starts CUTTING up the shoe. Everyone is baffled.
He keeps cutting the shoe... and it slowly takes on the shape
of a dove!
Ed then grabs some pipe cleaners, works them into a shape, and
sprints into the dressing room. He takes some green eye shadow
and excitedly smears it on the pipe cleaners. Ed then hurries
back out, jams the green pipe cleaners into the cut-up shoe...
and it looks like a dove with an olive branch in its mouth!
The cast is flabbergasted.
CREW MEMBER:
Wow.
BACK ONSTAGE:
The soldiers suddenly look up.
ACTOR #1
Hey, I think I see something!
Dolores floats down onto the stage, holding out the dove.
DOLORES:
I offer you mortals the bird of
peace, so that you may change your
ways and end all this destruction.
CUT TO:
INT. SCRUFFY COFFEE SHOP - LATER THAT NIGHT
Ed and his gang celebrate opening night in a dirty 24-hour
diner. They're noisily slugging down drinks, in a big red
booth.
ED:
What a show! Everyone was terrific!
Paul, your second-act monologue
actually gave me chills,
He grins at Actor #1, aka PAUL MARCO, a young eager beaver
who's loyal like a dog.
PAUL MARCO:
Aw thanks, Eddie.
Actor #2, aka CONRAD BROOKS, a friendly, simple-minded lug,
runs up waving a newspaper.
CONRAD:
I got the early edition! It was just
dropped off at the newsstand.
ED:
(he smiles at everyone)
This is the big moment...!
Ed opens the paper to the entertainment page.
INSERT - THE NEWSPAPER. Ed turns to a column, "The Theatrical
Life, By Victor Crowley." Under this is a photograph of an old
man with an ascot.
WIDE:
Everybody excitedly crowds around and starts reading. A
moment... and then their faces drop. Clearly, this is a
disastrous review. Their faces get sadder, and sadder... and
then they finish. A melancholy beat, until --
BUNNY:
What does that old queen know? He
wasn't even there!
(he knocks back a drink)
Sending a copy boy to do his dirty
work. Well f*** him!
DOLORES:
Do I really have a face like a horse?
PAUL MARCO:
What does "ostentatious" mean?
Ed calmly waves his arms for attention. He tries to smile.
ED:
Hey. Hey, it's not that bad. You
just can't concentrate on the
negative. He's got some nice things
to say...
(he scans the review)
See, "The soldier costumes are very
realistic." That's positive!
Everyone kind of stares at their drinks, depressed. Ed
launches into an upbeat speech.
ED:
Hell, I've seen a lot worse reviews.
I've seen ones where they didn't even
like the costumes! Like, that last
"Francis the Mule" picture -- it got
terrible notices. But it was a huge
hit.
PAUL MARCO:
Lines around the block.
ED:
So don't take it too seriously.
We're all doin' great work.
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