Ed Wood Page #2

CONRAD:

You really think so?

ED:

Absolutely! It's just the beginning.

I promise this:
If we stick together,

one day I'll make every single one

of you famous.

He smiles at everyone at the table. They all believe what he

says, and there is a hushed moment of dream-filled hope.

CUT TO:

INT. DOLORES' APARTMENT - LATE NIGHT

Ed and Dolores lie in bed, in the dark. He stares vulnerably

at her.

ED:

Honey, what if I'm wrong? What if

I just don't have it?

DOLORES:

Ed, it was only one review.

ED:

Orson Welles was 26 when he made

"Citizen Kane." I'm already 30!

DOLORES:

Ed, you're still young. This is the

part of your life when you're

supposed to be struggling.

ED:

I know... But sometimes I get scared

this is as good as it's gonna get...

Dolores kisses Ed affectionately.

DOLORES:

Things'll change for us. Nobody

stays on the fringe forever.

She gets out of bed. We see her tiny apartment is drab and

crumbling. Dolores turns on the shower, then walks to the

closet. She looks inside.

DOLORES:

God, where's my pink sweater? I can

never find my clothes anymore...

ANGLE - ED

He rolls over in bed, away from her.

CUT TO:

INT. STUDIO WAREHOUSE - DAY

CU on Ed reading "The Hollywood Reporter." A RUDE BOSS in

suspenders suddenly strides up.

RUDE BOSS:

Hey big shot, get off your ass. They

need a potted palm over in the Carl

Laemmle Building.

ED:

Sure thing, Mr. Kravitz.

Ed jumps up. We WIDEN, revealing he's in a giant greenhouse,

packed with rows of potted plants and shrubs. Ed grabs a small

palm tree and hurries out.

EXT. MOVIE STUDIO - DAY

Ed strolls across the busy movie lot, lugging the palm. He

passes a soundstage and notices the stage door open a crack.

Ed glances around, then puts down the palm and hurries in.

INT. SOUNDSTAGE ó SAME TIME

A big-budget foreign legion movie is shooting, with a huge cast

and crew. A giant desert set has been erected, with camels and

real sand dunes. Ed is blown away.

ED:

Whoa, look at all this sand. This

is real sand! My God, where'd they

get all this sand?!

A SECURITY GUARD sees him.

SECURITY GUARD:

Hey, YOU. This is a closed set.

Ed is caught. He hurries out.

EXT. MOVIE STUDIO ó DAY

Ed continues across the lot, carrying his palm tree. An OLD

CRUSTY MAN sticks his head out an office window.

OLD CRUSTY MAN:

Hey, Eddie! Come in here. I got

some great new stuff to show you.

Ed puts down the plant again and runs in.

INT. EDITING ROOMS ó DAY

The old guy is proudly showing Ed STOCK FOOTAGE on a moviola.

The footage is totally random: Giant explosions, buffalos

stampeding, tanks, an octopus swimming, etc.

Ed is dazzled.

ED:

This is fantastic! What are you

gonna do with it all?

OLD CRUSTY MAN:

Eh, probably file it away and never

see it again.

ED:

It's such a waste. If I had half a

chance, I could make an entire movie

out of this stock footage!

(getting inspired)

See, the story opens with these

mysterious explosions. Nobody knows

what's causing them, but it's

upsetting all the buffalo. So the

military is called in to solve the

mystery.

OLD CRUSTY MAN:

Ya forgot the octopus.

ED:

No, I'm saving that for the big

underwater climax!

The old guy cackles.

EXT. MOVIE STUDIO - DAY

Ed finally carries the tree into the Laemmle Building.

INT. STUDIO OFFICES - SAME TIME

Young SECRETARIES in June Cleaver hairdos are giggling.

SECRETARY #1

They say he was a girl trapped in a

man's body.

SECRETARY #2

I'll bet it hurt when they snipped

his thing off.

EEWWW! All the girls shriek in horror. Ed walks in and puts

down his plant.

ED:

What are you ladies gabbin' about?

SECRETARY #1

You know that Christine Jorgensen

freak? He/she/it's in "Variety."

Some producer is making a biopic.

ED:

(startled)

R-really? I didn't see the story.

SECRETARY #1

Ah, it was buried in the back. The

guy's a real smallótime operator.

She holds up her "Variety." Ed hurriedly takes it.

CUT TO:

INSERT - VARIETY

The story headline says "BOYóTOóCHICK FLICK TO CLICK." We PULL

OUT, revealing we're now in

INT. ED'S APARTMENT - DAY

Ed holds the newspaper while he paces around his apartment.

The place has threadbare carpet, faded wallpaper, and an

electric burner for a kitchen. A handful of mangy DOGS run

around. Tacked-up are movie posters for "DRACULA," "FREAKS,"

and "THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS."

Dolores talks on the phone, while Ed silently coaches her.

DOLORES (on phone)

Yes, I've got Mr. Edward Wood on the

line. Could you please hold?

Ed gives her a thumbs up -- perfect! He confidently takes the

phone.

ED (on phone)

Hello, Mr. Weiss? I heard about your

new project and was curious if you

signed a director. Oh -- you

haven't? Well, if we could get

together, I could explain why I'm

more qualified to direct this than

anyone else in town.

(beat)

Uh, I'd rather not go into it over

the phone... Alright. Great! l'll

see you then!

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