Ed Wood Page #20

They reach the strange entrance to an avant-garde, Eastern

based quasi-religious temple. Bela puts out his cigar, and

they enter the oversized doors.

INT. TEMPLE - SAME TIME

Sphinxes and Bodhisatvas peer down from the marble walls. A

service is in progress. A wiry, enigmatic LECTURER speaks.

LECTURER:

Thou eternal sun, who has covered the

consciousness with thy golden disc,

do thou remove the veil so that I may

see the truth within?

Bela leads Ed to a seat, stepping past men in fezzes and odd

elderly women in fur coats. As the lecture continues, Ed

WHISPERS in bafflement.

ED:

What is this place?

BELA:

This is the Philosophical Research

Society. A refuge for free thinkers.

I've been coming here for twenty

years.

LECTURER:

...for the truth which is within thee

is within me. And I am Truth.

BELA:

Most people in this country, they

know nothing, about Eastern mysticism.

They are afraid of it.

(beat)

But I am open-minded. It gives me

hope.

LECTURER:

We have the wisdom to govern and the

divine right to inherit the earth in

good condition. We have the power

to build worlds.

Ed leans in to Bela.

ED:

Was I wrong to cast Loretta?

BELA:

Bad decisions are easy to live with.

Forget. Just keep looking forward.

ED:

But was it a bad decision? At the

time, I thought her money would save

the movie.

BELA:

Eddie, you screwed up.

ED:

(he nods)

Yeah, I did.

CUT TO:

LATER:

The lecture is over. The speaker shakes hands with people.

Bela leads Ed along.

BELA:

In life, the decisions that haunt you

are the ones where you just don't

know... where right or wrong will

never be answered.

(beat)

Years ago, the Hungarians contacted

me. The government wanted me to come

home, to be Minister of Culture.

ED:

Really?

BELA:

It was a very impressive offer.

Fancy offices, a big home... I'd be

treated like a king.

ED:

So why didn't you do it?

BELA:

I didn't know if it was a trick.

They might arrest me and throw me in

a gulag.

(pause)

I am Hungary's most famous emigrant.

they'd use me as a lesson to anyone

who tries to leave.

ED:

But maybe not.

BELA:

Correct. So instead, I stayed here,

waiting for my comeback. Always

hoping... the next film, the next

film... that would be the one.

They reach the exit. Ed stops in the huge doorway.

ED:

Your next film. That will be the

one.

Bela smiles sweetly.

CUT TO:

INT. MCCOY MEATPACKING PLANT - DAY

We're in a noisy meat-packing plant. WORKERS in blood-stained

aprons slam cleavers into hunks of beef.

Ed walks down an aisle with DONALD E. McCOY, a wealthy Texan

meat man. Old Man McCoy is a tough-talking, tobacco-chewing,

straight shooter.

ED:

...and then Dr. Vornoff falls in the

pit, and his own octopus attacks and

eats him! The End.

OLD MAN McCOY

Whew! That's quite a story. So you

made the movie, and now you want to

make it again?

ED:

(gently correcting him)

No. We shot ten minutes of the

movie, and now we're looking for

completion funds.

OLD MAN McCOY

Son, you're too vague. I come from

the world of business. I need to

know what I get for my investment.

ED:

Movies are very popular. You could

make a lot of money.

OLD MAN McCOY

Yeah, but most of 'em flop, don't

they? What am I tangibly guaranteed?

ED:

Well... you get "Executive Producer"

credit.

OLD MAN McCOY

That don't mean diddley.

(he suddenly SHOUTS angrily)

BILLY BOB! You're cutting 'em TOO

LEAN.

McCoy grabs a CLEAVER from a worker and slams it into a chop.

ED:

Mr. McCoy, how can I make you happy?

OLD MAN McCOY

Cut to the chase, heh? That's good!

That's very good.

McCoy SPITS his tobacco.

OLD MAN McCOY

Okay, two things. Number one: I want

the movie to end with a big

explosion. Sky full of smoke.

ED:

But the story ends with Dr. Vornoff

falling in the pit --

OLD MAN McCOY

Not anymore. And number two: I've

got a son. He's a little slow -- but

a good boy. And something tells me

he'd make a hell of a leading man...

Under Ed's cheery frozen smile, his face clearly falls.

CUT TO:

INT. SALT LAKE CITY AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

We're at a ROWDY wrestling match. Tor Johnson is in the middle

of a screaming, four-man tag-team event. Tor THROWS his

opponent to the ground; then tags with his partner and goes to

the corner.

Suddenly a WRESTLING COACH runs up, dragging a telephone on a

very long cord.

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