Educating Rita Page #5

- Lovely!

How old are you now, Susan?

74, Dad.

You're not, you're 27.

Been married six years

and still no babby to show for it.

Here's your sister, two minutes married

and she's already four months pregnant.

Lovely! Lovely!

Now, just the last one now, last one.

Why don't you broadcast it?

Nothing wrong with being pregnant

before you're married.

Your mother was three months gone

before I married her.

Smile!

That's just what

I've always admired in you, Dad -

you're overflowing

with innate sensitivity and charm.

Thank you all very much.

Say, Denny. Denny, I'm sorry for you, lad.

If she was a wife of mine I'd drown her.

If I was a wife of yours I'd drown meself.

Hey, that was your father you insulted.

Oh, sod off.

It's dead easy, Susan -

you stop going to that university

and you stop taking the pill

or you're out.

- Why?

- You know why.

I don't, Denny.

All I'm doing is getting an education.

Just trying to learn. And I love it.

It's not easy, I get it wrong half the time,

I'm laughed at half the time

but I love it because it makes me feel

as though I'm in the land of the living.

All you try and do is put a rope around

me neck and tie me to the ground.

Are you gonna pack it in, Susan?

Did he say anything else to you

before you left?

He said it's warped me,

he said I betrayed him.

And I suppose I have.

Where are you staying?

Erm, me mother's. She said I can

go there for a bit and then...

...then I'll get a flat.

I'll be all right in a minute.

Give me a minute.

- What was me Macbeth essay like?

- Sod Macbeth.

- Why?

- Rita...

Come on, I want you to tell me

what you thought about it.

- Under the circumstances...

- It doesn't matter.

Under the circumstances

I need to do this. What was it like?

I told you it was no good.

Was it really useless?

I don't know what to say.

Yeah, well,

try and think of something, Frank.

I don't mind if you tell me it was rubbish.

I don't want pity. Was it rubbish?

No, no, it wasn't rubbish.

It was a totally honest, passionate

account of your reaction to a play.

- Sentimental?

- No, it was too honest for that.

It was almost moving.

But in terms of what you're asking me

to teach you,

in terms of passing examinations...

God. You see, I...

Say it! Go on. Say it.

In those terms, it's worthless.

It shouldn't be but it is.

But, in its own terms,

it's wonderful.

It's worthless, you said.

If it's worthless, you have got to tell me

because I wanna write essays like those.

I wanna learn and pass exams

like they do.

Yes, but if you're gonna write that sort

of stuff, you're going to have to change.

All right. But just tell me how to do it.

Yes, but I don't know if I want to tell you.

I don't know that I want to teach you.

What you have already is too valuable.

Valuable? What's valuable?

The only thing I value is here,

comin' here once a week.

But don't you see? If you're gonna write

that sort of stuff, pass examinations,

you're gonna have to suppress,

perhaps abandon, your uniqueness.

I'm gonna have to change you.

But don't you realise I want to change?

Is this your way of telling me

that I'm not good enough?

Of course you're good enough.

- If that's what you're saying, I'll go now.

- No.

Rita, I promise you,

you are good enough.

You see, it's difficult for you

with someone like me

but you've just got to keep telling me

and I'll start to take it in.

With me, you've gotta be dead firm.

You won't hurt me feelings.

If I do something that's crap,

I don't want pity,

I want you to say, "That's crap. "

Here.

It's crap.

So we dump it on the fire

and we start again.

- Frank.

- What?

- I don't wanna go.

- You have to.

Frank, I wish you were gonna be there.

- You understand me.

- So will the tutors at summer school.

- What if they realise how thick I am?

- They won't because you're not.

Rita, my dear, you can do it now.

Write the kind of essay you've begun to

write and you'll have nothing to fear.

- I still wish you were gonna be there.

- So do I, Rita.

Right, I've got your address in France,

so, er, I'll write to you, every day.

So have a good holiday.

And don't drink too much, will ya?

And no all-night parties.

- I should be so lucky!

- I mean it.

- Oh, do ya?

- Yes.

All right, I'll go to bed at ten every night

with a cup of cocoa and Howards End.

That's if Howard shows up.

- Bye-bye.

- Bye, Frank.

It's a pity I never brought my diary -

"One should always have something

sensational to read on the train"!

Oscar Wilde.

'Dear Frank,

today was me first real day here,

'and you know what?

I actually rode a bike.

'How's France?

I haven't heard from you.

'At first,

it was like I thought it would be.

'I didn't know anyone

and I was gonna go home.

'But, Frank, listen,

you would've been dead proud of me.

'I was standing in the library, you know,

looking at the books

'pretending I was dead clever.

'Anyway, this tutor

came up to me and he said... '

Are you fond of Ferlinghetti?

'Frank, it was on the tip of me tongue to

say, "Only when served with Parmesan. "

'But, Frank, I didn't, I held it back.

And I heard meself saying... '

Erm, actually, I'm not too familiar

with the American poets.

Well, if you like Ferlinghetti...

'Frank, he started telling me

all about the American poets.

'He wasn't even one of me official tutors.

'There must have been hundreds of us

in this lecture hall

'but when the professor finished

and asked if anyone had any questions,

'I stood up.

'Honest to God, I stood up. '

Yes?

'And everyone's looking at me.

I don't know what possessed me.

'I was going to sit down but hundreds

of people had seen me stand up.

'So I did it. I asked him a question. '

Erm, I was... I was wondering

if you think that Chekhov

was showing us the aristocracy

as, like, a decaying class.

This view of a Chekhovian aristocracy

in decay,

it is, I presume, one you've picked up

from Dr Palmer's book on Chekhov?

- No, no. I mean, excuse me, but no.

- I beg your pardon?

No, I didn't get it from that book.

I haven't read it.

Er, you see, the way I see Chekhov...

'Frank, you couldn't keep me down

after that.

'I've been asking questions all week,

mostly about Chekhov

'because, as you know,

I'm dead familiar with Chekhov. '

Hello, Bursar. How are you?

A new term beckons.

Dr Bryant, you're back

before term begins.

Preparations, Bursar, preparations.

I can't stand here idling,

there's work to be done.

Frank!

Rita!

My God, what is this vision

I see before me?

Do you like it? I've got a whole

new wardrobe. Do you like it?

It's very nice.

Did you manage to get any work done?

Work? We never stopped.

Lashing us with it, they were.

Another essay - lash! Do it again - smack!

Another lecture - lash! It was fantastic.

Frank, I could've stayed forever.

Oh, Frank, I've got so much to tell ya.

- Well, I'm free for the rest of the day.

- Great.

I bought you cigarettes in the duty free.

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