El Cantante Page #3

It's cooI, I'll get you later,

f*ggot.

Come on.

Eddie? Hey...

It's happy hour,

bro.

You in or out, man?

Yeah, the wonder

of life, brother.

You like?

You like?

Babe, can you

move your ass

so that I can see

her ass, please?

You can't even handle

ass like that.

- You wanna make a bet?

- This one you can touch.

This one you can have.

This one is yours.

That one- forget it.

Ay ay ay.

You don't wanna

change the channeI?

Huh?

You wanna watch TV?

Is that what you want?

You wanna watch

Iris Chacn, baby?

Iris Chacn?

You don't wanna watch

"The Puchi Show"?

Do you think

this will end?

What?

This.

It just started,

didn't it?

I always wanted

somebody like you, Puchi.

Always.

Mm-hmm.

I have a surprise.

Hold on.

Oh, yeah?

"The Puchi Show. "

"The Puchi Show. "

"The Puchi Show. "

No no no no.

What are you, nuts?

Come on, you know

I don't like that stuff.

Put it away.

But you like me,

right?

? What a mess, eh?

? Boy boy boy boy boy?

? What a mess, eh?

? Boy boy boy boy boy?

? What a mess, eh?

? Boy boy boy boy boy?

? What a mess, eh?

? Boy boy boy boy boy.?

You don't wanna

make it too hot, though.

- Oh, that- that's good, that's good.

- No no no no, that's good.

- That's good.

- Yeah yeah.

Good, that's good.

You like it?

Right there it was-

it- it's good,

but trust me on this, it's-

It feels good to be a Nuyorican

holding up a trombone

- instead of a tray or a hoteI elevator.

- Yeah.

- Mmm.

- That's some good sh*t, right?

- Crime pays, Hector.

- Yeah.

- You there?

- Stand by, guys. We're gonna listen.

- Get her out of here. I believe that I was...

- The police is here?

- the one who was invited to be here at 6:00.

- What's she doing?

Get her out of here.

Because I do own the place.

- Her and Carmen are getting into a little altercation.

- Get out of here.

- Hector.

- Who do you think you are?

Get her the f***

out of here, Eddie.

I think you might need

some of this.

- Did she recognize Carmen?

- Carmen's gone.

- Eddie's taking her away.

- Get her out.

What is she doing now?

- She's staring at us right now.

- Oh, sh*t. Okay.

Where are you going, bro?

- I gotta go to the bathroom.

- Oh, sh*t, man.

- Hi, Willie.

- Hello.

- Hey.

- Hey, everybody.

Hey, Puchi, Puchi.

- Hey, babe.

- Hey, baby.

- How are you doing?

- I'm okay.

- I was just talking about you.

- Oh, really?

Yeah, I was looking

out the window

and I was looking

at the stars.

I don't see

no windows here.

- No?

- No.

Well, you know what

the stars were saying?

- What?

- The stars were saying,

"Puchi, I love you,

I love you, I love you. "

I heard that

in a soap opera once.

Oh, you haven't heard

nothing yet, baby.

- Hector, stop it.

- Wha-

I'm late.

I was just talking

to Willie about that, babe.

Two hours you keep me

waiting like that.

Weeks late.

You gotta stop playing around

with silly little b*tches, okay?

Let go.

Thank you.

I'll wait for you

outside.

He looked like an innocent

Jibaro choirboy,

but he wasn't,

let me tell you.

And we were both pregnant

for him at the same time.

The other woman in question-

at this point

it doesn't really matter

'cause that wasn't meant to be.

Right?

I mean,

I am the only woman.

I don't know who else was with him

for 20 years, do you?

You know something

I don't know?

If you put it

that way,

will you marry me,

Puchi?

I'm gonna marry this woman

because I love her.

Baby, yes, no?

Yes, you'd better

marry me.

The burundanga.

? That my buddy found?

? What a mess, eh?

- ? Boy boy boy boy boy?

- I love you.

? What a mess, eh?

? Boy boy boy boy boy.?

- Wait.

- Here!

He'll be here.

Zaida, give me

a cigarette, please.

Here?

Okay okay okay.

Wait here.

Here.

It's okay,

Tito, baby.

Where is he?

You're the manager, right?

Baby, you look beautifuI, Puchi.

Baby, beautifuI.

Hector ain't

here yet, okay?

It took two years and a baby to get here.

Where the hell is he?

He's coming, baby.

Just calm down.

Were you

at the bachelor party?

Of course I was in the bachelor party.

Baby, calm down.

- You're in a church.

- You're telling me to calm down?

I'm getting married here.

You see there's a wedding going on here

and he's not here yet?

What kind of managing is that?

? A la la le?

? A la la le le le le le?

? La.?

- Hey, Puchi.

- Oh sh*t.

Hey hey, Puchi.

- Puchi-

- Shut up, Eddie.

- I called you. Y-you didn't call me back.

- Shut up.

- What?

- Willie, where's the ring?

Where's that-

where- where's the ring?

- Get the ring.

- Oh, man. F***.

Hector.

Hector!

Stand up, honey.

We're getting married.

- Come on, get up.

- Aren't we married already?

Uh, do you, Hector-

He does.

Hector, say "I do. "

I do.

- Do you, Puchi-

- I do.

Anybody object?

Sorry, Father,

there's no more beer left?

Are you sure?

- There.

- I think it's best

if I now

pronounce you...

...man and wife.

- This one?

- That one.

Thank you very much.

Where is she?

Ah, God, look.

? Sing, my people?

? Sing, my people?

? Sing, my people?

? Sing, my people?

? Sing, my people?

- ? Rumbero of the East?

- ? Sing, my people?

? The thing here is now

going well?

? Sing, my people?

? Everyone is saying

that I'm hot?

? Sing, my people?

? Let them criticize,

let them criticize?

? Sing, my people?

? La la la la la la la?

? Let them hear

that I don't cry?

? La la la la la la la la?

? And your grandmother,

Pacheco, where is she??

? La la la la la la la la?

? At the corner,

my people are singing?

? La la la la la la la la?

? I'm the peasant of Puerto Rico?

- ? La le lo la le lo la le lo la?

- ? La le lo lai le lo lai le lo lai?

? La la la la la la la la la la?

? Let them hear

that I don't cry?

? La la la la la la la la la la la?

? It's nothing, it's nothing?

? La la la la la la la la la?

? La la la la la la la la la?

? La la la la la la la la la?

? La la la la la la la la la?

? Listen?

? Sing, my people?

? Sing, my people?

? Sing, my people?

? Sing, my people?

? Sing, my people.?

? Oh lei lei, lei lei lei lei,

lei lei lei?

? Lei lei...?

? Lei la...?

? Lei...?

? Oh lo lo lo,

lei lei, lei lei lei?

? La la la,

la la la...?

But people loved him.

It was like,

with all his faults

and all his

f***-ups,

it just made him more

like one of them.

And it was funny,

you know.

It was like

the bigger Hector got,

the more he grew

as an artist,

it was like the deeper

he sank as a person,

as a human being,

you know what I mean?

He was like,

I don't know.

- Why aren't there lights over here?

- I can reach it. I can reach it.

- Okay, perfect.

- There we go.

Oh, look, it's almost like sitting on it.

Right, boy?

- Yeah.

- It's cute.

Santa, remember

Tito's train, please!

The boy forgot.

And he really

wants one.

He forgot to put it

in his letter.

He only told me this morning.

Please.

He's been

such a good boy.

What do you think?

Is that gonna work?

I got connections, son.

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